J
I am praying for you also. When I was going through a really difficult time, my mother - who is a pastor - said, "Ask God for a reprieve. Tell Him you do not feel you can take anymore and to give you a break from it." I did as she instructed and read scripture she gave me, and the next day things started slipping back into place. King David did this often, and he was always a mess, but God did help him when He called out (most of the time, sometimes he had to go through the trial).
In fact, a few months back, as I was driving to work at about 2:30 a.m., I literally looked up towards heaven and SHOUTED:
ENOUGH!
Anyhow, God's Word says that He'll not allow us to be tempted above what we're able to bear, but with the temptation He'll also provide a way to escape that we might be able to bear it.
Well, I must be able to bear a lot...lol.
Believe me, my situation isn't the least bit humorous, but I often think back to something that happened about 12 years ago which still makes me laugh up until today. I was working at a VA Hospital in NY and a man approached me who was a bit "off". I don't say that in a mocking or disrespectful way, but he had some issues, yet he seemed like a decent man. Anyhow, this one day (I'd seen him before so I knew who he was), he just walks up to me, out of the blue, and asks me if he could pray for me. I'm normally not the type of guy who lets just anybody pray for him, but I said, "Sure, go ahead." So, he puts his hand upon my shoulder, looks upward towards heaven, and prays the following (in a loud voice):
"C'MON, GOD...JUST GIVE THIS GUY A BREAK! HE'S NOT A BAD GUY!"
...and then he just walked away.
I don't know, maybe I'm crazy or something, but that still makes me laugh.
Anyhow, I could most certainly use a break...