struggling with singleness

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MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#41
Mar 8, 2022
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#41
Westward said:
Too much suffering in this world I wouldn't want to bring innocent souls into this without their permission. Just my personal view on it
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I have thought like this sometimes, as there is a lot of sin and suffering in this world. For the childless person, this view can sometimes provide relief as we are not introducing someone into this world. However, now I generally believe that one should follow what naturally happens. If a couple falls in love, they should get married, and if they have kids, so be it. All this within reason, as long as the couple is financially able. I don't think a couple should intentionally have kids and have others/taxpayers help pay for the increasing number of children. Is this view in line with Christianity? Certain scenarios are more understandable, such as with the single mom who was unexpectedly divorced or spoused passed away, etc. (widows, orphans, etc.).
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#42
Dec 16, 2016
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#42
"falling in love", may be a decision based on emotion, not reason. We are to take all things to Him for His guidance, He always has the best plan, too many rely on emotion, feelings change, finding His plan for our lives and walking it out doesn't. Could this be why the divorce rate is so high in the
U.S.?
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#43
Dec 16, 2016
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#43
Knew of a lady from India, 5th generation Christian family, her parents selected her husband when she was a child, she said "you grow in love, not fall in love".
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#45
Mar 8, 2022
1,194
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#45
shittim said:
Knew of a lady from India, 5th generation Christian family, her parents selected her husband when she was a child, she said "you grow in love, not fall in love".
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Same with western marriages, I think there are both loving and loveless arranged marriages. It is really dependent on how the husband is in the arranged marriages (is he abusive, is he nice, etc.), the wives are more or less the same being submissive.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#48
Dec 16, 2016
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#48
Had mine, that season of life is over, grand babies are growing and grown (2) and are a joy here and will be in eternity.
Any want a person has to nurture provide love can be expressed 24/7/365 in a multitude of areas as He gives direction.The world is full of opportunities to share the love of our Lord and Savior.
blessings
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#49
Jul 3, 2015
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#49
Wait4me said:
I don't have the desire to want kids.
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Bringing up children is one of the biggest of all responsibilities a person can take on, and if it is not for you? Kudos to you for admitting it. Many grow up just assuming it is what they want, but the reality of raising kids and having a family of your own can be vastly different from the fantasy... also, your name reminds me of when I was a kid... I come from a family of eleven children, and so as we grew up we moved through different bedrooms in our family home. For instance, when I was very small but out of a crib, as younger sisters came along, three of us slept in the same bed. Then as I got a little older, I moved into a bedroom where I slept with my next oldest sister. That room had a window that faced looking out onto the sidewalk angling away, and sometimes when I saw someone walking up the street, I would call out from the window, "Hey, wait for me!" I always got a kick out of when the person stopped and looked around for the person wanting them to wait. Sometimes they would wait a few seconds, and then carry on. LOL. Thanks for reminding me! I still laugh about it...
 
S

saved_4life

New member
#51
Jan 11, 2025
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#51
Wait4me said:
I've been single for over a year and I sometimes need to be reminded that I'm not alone.
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Hi
I'm Mark new on here, yes you're right, you're not alone as long you have christ in your life.. and know that He do care for you no matter the situation and struggle.. have a blessed weekend
 
ForgiveMeGod

ForgiveMeGod

Well-known member
#53
Nov 11, 2024
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#53
Ballaurena said:
View attachment 271895
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Jesus: single
Paul: single
John?: single

Some of the greats

Me? Single?: no

I had my John, Jesus and Paul seasons. Those seasons will get anyone ready for marriage. You begin to trust God more and realize that He has your best interest in heart. Like, everything you do and touch is blessed because of you going through those seasons.

While everyone’s houses were burning down in the county I live in this past week. I had no care in the world because I know that God is protecting me. I only looked outside once, the whole week. I even got emergency alerts telling me to evacuate my home because my house was potentially going to burn to the ground. I spent my days working on my music, setting up my music artist social media accounts, making playlists on different music streaming sites, designing my artist profiles on different streaming services and talking to my future wife, because that is how much I trust God. When you have that type of trust in God’s predestination for you, you are unstoppable and you won’t be afraid of marriage.
 
Ballaurena

Ballaurena

Well-known member
#54
May 27, 2024
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#54
ForgiveMeGod said:
Jesus: single
Paul: single
John?: single

Some of the greats

Me? Single?: no

I had my John, Jesus and Paul seasons. Those seasons will get anyone ready for marriage. You begin to trust God more and realize that He has your best interest in heart. Like, everything you do and touch is blessed because of you going through those seasons.

While everyone’s houses were burning down in the county I live in this past week. I had no care in the world because I know that God is protecting me. I only looked outside once, the whole week. I even got emergency alerts telling me to evacuate my home because my house was potentially going to burn to the ground. I spent my days working on my music, setting up my music artist social media accounts, making playlists on different music streaming sites, designing my artist profiles on different streaming services and talking to my future wife, because that is how much I trust God. When you have that type of trust in God’s predestination for you, you are unstoppable and you won’t be afraid of marriage.
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Thanks for the notes about singleness. You have some thoughtful points.

I can't help but appreciate, though, that you are living something I was speaking of in the last hour or two. God has been emphasizing Psalm 91 in our home lately, and that when you truly put your trust in Him there are amazing protections. One of the verses is about having a thousand fallen at one side and 10,000 on the other side and it not coming near to you. There are always a few houses in natural disasters that somehow get missed and it makes me wonder how often those are the people that are trusting God. I was particularly thinking of it because we were watching a newscast the other day where a synagogue was spared in the midst of the destruction and the lady was bawling over God's amazing faithfulness.

Not wanting to misrepresent things though, there is also the passage in the Old Testament about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego being thrown into the fiery furnace (not that different from your own trial). As my roommate frequently reminds me, they said their God could protect them but even if he didn't they wouldn't worship the idol. The point being that sometimes his provision doesn't look like we expect, but we can still trust in his goodness and faithfulness.

And, keep going about your music and such unless God shows you otherwise. Another part of Psalm 91 is that God knows your ways and looks after you in them. The implication being that you don't have to worry as you live life - He's got your back.
 
ForgiveMeGod

ForgiveMeGod

Well-known member
#55
Nov 11, 2024
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#55
Ballaurena said:
Thanks for the notes about singleness. You have some thoughtful points.

I can't help but appreciate, though, that you are living something I was speaking of in the last hour or two. God has been emphasizing Psalm 91 in our home lately, and that when you truly put your trust in Him there are amazing protections. One of the verses is about having a thousand fallen at one side and 10,000 on the other side and it not coming near to you. There are always a few houses in natural disasters that somehow get missed and it makes me wonder how often those are the people that are trusting God. I was particularly thinking of it because we were watching a newscast the other day where a synagogue was spared in the midst of the destruction and the lady was bawling over God's amazing faithfulness.

Not wanting to misrepresent things though, there is also the passage in the Old Testament about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego being thrown into the fiery furnace (not that different from your own trial). As my roommate frequently reminds me, they said their God could protect them but even if he didn't they wouldn't worship the idol. The point being that sometimes his provision doesn't look like we expect, but we can still trust in his goodness and faithfulness.

And, keep going about your music and such unless God shows you otherwise. Another part of Psalm 91 is that God knows your ways and looks after you in them. The implication being that you don't have to worry as you live life - He's got your back.
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I believe that most of the people’s whose houses caught on fire, do not put God first. Literally every single day, my future wife and I, me especially, put around 3 hours a day spending time with God when we wake up. She lives in Oklahoma, so I don’t know how long she spends time with Him but according to her, she has been spending time with God, every morning for the last 7 years. We take our Faith very seriously and at the same time, have a lot of fun. Relationships are just not as hard when people find the right person. Stop listening to what the world is trying to tell you and listen to God, period. The world gives advice like a loser trying to impress a winner. You are all winners. So trust God and listen to Him. The more you trust God, the more you’ll trust yourself.
 
T

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
#56
Jan 17, 2023
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#56
Magenta said:
Bringing up children is one of the biggest of all responsibilities a person can take on, and if it is not for you? Kudos to you for admitting it. Many grow up just assuming it is what they want, but the reality of raising kids and having a family of your own can be vastly different from the fantasy... also, your name reminds me of when I was a kid... I come from a family of eleven children, and so as we grew up we moved through different bedrooms in our family home. For instance, when I was very small but out of a crib, as younger sisters came along, three of us slept in the same bed. Then as I got a little older, I moved into a bedroom where I slept with my next oldest sister. That room had a window that faced looking out onto the sidewalk angling away, and sometimes when I saw someone walking up the street, I would call out from the window, "Hey, wait for me!" I always got a kick out of when the person stopped and looked around for the person wanting them to wait. Sometimes they would wait a few seconds, and then carry on. LOL. Thanks for reminding me! I still laugh about it...
Click to expand...
Eleven?? Your mother must have had the patience of Job. That's a lot of work. There are only two in my family, my younger sister and I. I have always wished I was from a larger family. We had cousins that were like brothers and sisters but I love holidays with lots of family. I live too far from cousins now to get together.

As to the OP I know being single can be hard. But it's not as hard as being stuck in a bad marriage. It's better to not run ahead of God and try to fill your life with ministry or service to Him until that special person comes along, you will be glad you did.
 
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