Mental Illness

For a long time, I thought I had you defeated.
But only to find that it was I who was conceited.
Thinking I had accomplished maintaining peace.
My sanity began to cease.
Stuck in a spiral, as I try to fight it with denial.
I discovered it was all a facade, a self-made prison of security.
An effort of conformity,
I became my own fatality.
Prayers were answered in many ways, but I was still left with my own fragility.
Your words fell silent or more like distant.
The pit of despair almost consuming me, and the darkness began polluting all that surrounded me.
Your hand reached out, snatching me from the void with such intensity I was left with uncertainty.
How to process, to prepare, to trust my mentality. I can't help but feel my insecurities.
Lord help me as it is more evident than ever that your strength is all that can free me.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
—John 12:24

Thank you, would this mean something must die to produce life?