What Are Your Suggestions for Having a Safe, Secure CC Meetup? And Would You Be Interested In Attending?

Hey Everyone,

A long time ago, in a forum setting far, far away... (This thread is going to be long -- my apologies in advance.)

There was a time when this site had talked about having a site-wide CC meetup. There was a rough outline of hiring a worship band for a 3-day event (but if I'm remembering this wrong, I hope the old timers here will correct me.) Eventually the idea was scrapped, and now after attending a few small group meetups myself, I can certainly see why.

In my 15 years on CC, I've met about 20 people in person, but never more than 5 at one time. It was hard enough to coordinate work schedules and a location with just that number of people -- I can't imagine trying to do something across the entire site. The very first meetup I went to started out as the brainchild of about 20 people in Singles live chat room (back when it existed,) who also posted daily on the forums (so we knew each other well.) But in the end, as could be forseen, only 6 were able to go due to distance, time, and cost.

I've been meeting people through writing (paper letters, long before you could look up anything about them online) and sometimes in person since I was 15, so for me, it's just a normal social behavior. But it does take a very long time and tons of work to form such friendships and plans -- I've been friends with the people I meetup with now for 5-10+ years, which is only by the grace of God. I know this would not work for most people, especially across long distances.

I also haven't met anyone else in person from CC since the live chats ended, because I find it crucial to get to know how someone reacts in real time and around other people (if challenged, do they fly off the handle? Do they treat men and women differently? Are their statements consistent? Etc., etc.)

I travel about once a year and will get in touch with people from the area I know and trust, asking if they want to/are able to meetup. We have talked for YEARS about how to expand this to other CC members who might be interested -- but there are a slew of issues, such as:

1. Safety and privacy are always top priority.

I've known too many stories of people who have been stalked over the internet -- both male and female -- to the point where it was necessary to get lawyers, police, and a restraining order involved.

For example -- What if a meetup is announced, and Sam has a huge crush on Missy? Missy doesn't even realize how much. She attends the meetup, not to meet Sam, but other friends she's excited to see. Sam latches on to Missy -- and since the meetup is only 2 towns away, he now has a good idea of where she lives. With a little sweet talk, he's able to finagle her personal information from another unknowingy attendee -- and is refusing to take no for an answer.

2. How can people find trustworthy roommates to split expenses with?

Even the most devout Christian may have problems with theft, drinking, or substances they feel are fine (smoking certain plants,) but would not be acceptable to someone else.

3. How do we prevent anyone who organizes such an event from becoming a bagholder?

Our group has long decided that everyone is responsible for making their own arrangements. This way, no one gets stuck paying an entire deposit or hotel bill by themselves when someone else doesn't show or has an emergency.

I had a family member wind up in the emergency room and is still recovering, so I understand that emergencies happen and plans can change in a literaly heartbeat. But no one else should be obligated to for someone else because of it.

4. How could we find a place to hang out comfortably and still be fair to the places we wind up at?

The last time I met up with people, we thought of making an announcement on CC such as, "Some of us are going to be at Crazy Harry's Roadkill Cafe on August 3 at 1 PM -- y'all come join us if you can!"

But if 20 people show up and take over the restaurant, it's not fair to them because the conversations might go on for some time (which we want!) -- and the poor waitstaff would be dying for us to leave so they could bring in more paying customers.

5. How far in advance do people need to know?

I like to have at least a year to plan and save up. The last meetup I went to took 2 relentless years of constantly trying to coordinate schedules, travel plans, and finances -- and that was only with 6 people. So we are fairly familiar with how hard it is to make these kinds of plans.

6. What happens if people have to back out? Wil the entire thing have to be canceled?

If certain key people/organizers have to back out at the last minute, what will happen? If enough people have actually paid to rent a place but several have to cancel, what happens to the remainder of those who still want to go?


I have been thinking of what my travel plans might be next year... I would love to somehow plan and arrange for some kind of meetup that could extend to any interested members in the area(s) I might be in.


* Would anyone be interested in attending some kind of meetup event, and what are your ideas of how to do so safely?

1. safety 1st: secure sidearms from @shittim and @hornetguy, and martial arts training from @HealthAndHappiness and commandeer @Susanna as head of security detail
2. Funding: I gathered an impression that @Cameron143 is cash heavy. I'm counting on taking him up on his offer of a plot of land on his vast estate.
3. Secured deposit: see fig.2
4. Consideration of venue: are tailgate accommodations available? can we rent a tour bus?
5. Time Efficiency: select rendezvous according to the proximity of participants' time zones. I.e., if there's no one coming from Pacific, the location would be adjusted as central between Mountain and Eastern time zones. That is, if the tour bus idea is scrapped, otherwise, tour bus would make its pickup and drop off rounds.
and
6. Fear not: I participated in a 'meeting at the flagpole' of a local sports forum which more than several chatters showed up to. When I was introduced as my username, there were several incredulous reactions that made me think of the verse, "is this the one who shook earth and made kingdoms tremble?"

The easiest way I can think of to have a safe meetup is for all of us to agree to be at the same hotel or group of cabins at the same time.

As a bonus, there would be no linchpin figure. There would be no major organizer who would totally wreck the meetup if something came up and he could not make it.

1. The hotel or group of cabins should be somewhere close to an amusement park or tourist town, something that would provide us with activities during the meetup.

2. There should be a common area, like a good Hotel lobby or a local waffle House where we can meet. If you want to socialize, be in the common area. If you have had your fill of socializing for now, rest in your room. If you are in your room, it should be understood that nobody should be banging on your door asking if you want to go somewhere or hang out.

3. It should be somewhere with a decent price, not outrageously expensive. I don't think we have many rich people here. Yes I know this conflicts with number one to some extent.

4. It might be a good idea to get a rental car, just so nobody will see your county on your license plate.

What an awesome, well thought-out post!!! 🥇 Blue ribbon prize for this one, for sure!

I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment.

I've heard that coaching/managing champion pillow fighters to victory, as @Cameron143 is known to do, is quite lucrative -- and the endorsements are enough to knock the stuffing out of any "high draft picks," as he was shaping @Magenta to be.

No one is going to believe this, but would you believe our group has actually talked about this?!

Our meetup group is very small (as in, if Abraham prayed that for the sake of 10 meetup group peets, this forum could be spared, our group wouldn't make the cut.) Not because of exclusion, but because those are the only ones who have been able to keep in touch and do the exhausting work it takes to keep a friendship group together over many years.

But the group originally started out with bigger numbers, and @Lynx actually did talk about driving a busload of committed participants around at one time.

Then our group got pared down even further (just lost touch or didn't want to be part of it anymore, etc.,) and so he talked about renting a mini-van and taking us on a cross-country trip. And I'm pretty sure he would still do this today if people were interested.

He is one of the most enthusiastic meetup participants you'll ever meet and he will do anything and everything (including offering to drive 10 hours and back out of his way to pick up just one person) to try to make sure the meetup happens.

Next Thread Idea: "How Safe Would You Feel in a Bus -- And a Cat Was Driving It?!"

I understand exactly what you're saying.

A while back I wrote a thread asking, If a meetup was held at a County Fair, how would each CC'er set up their own booth for greeting people? I have always liked this idea for the freedom of individual interests.

I also have this fear of people meeting me and being severely disappointed ("Wow, that's her? You mean SHE'S the one who asks all those stupid questions on CC?" ) and I was hoping to at least distract them by making/giving away colorful bracelets!

When I met one member for the first time a few years ago, their immediate reaction was, "I Finally Get to Meet -- The Seoulsearch!"

I could "see" their entire greeting starting with all capital letters in my head, Just Like My Threads -- even though it was spoken -- and I still laugh about it to this day.


Incredible post, @Mem!!

Thank you so much!

Having said all that....

I hear the Mall of America is pretty nice. Also Branson Missouri and pigeon forge Tennessee.

Of course there are downsides. We would have to continually be mindful of the fact that our common area is not ours that we rented. If it was a waffle House we might want to actually purchase something there instead of just hogging tables for hours for free.

And naturally there would be no cooking of our own. We would not have a stove or oven in which to make cookies and pots of soup. That would hurt some of us...

These are all great points that have been gleened from years of trial and error (mostly error, as many of the things originally brainstormed were not collectively feasible.)

One of the most important things we learned was to let people be themselves and allow room for attendees to pick and choose what they're interested in. If one group wants to go to the mall, by all means, let's go. But don't try to drag the non-shoppers along.

If someone wants to socialize during every given moment, that's totally understandable -- others might need a break from people and want to curl up in the corner and read for a few hours.

If the event is held over a Sunday, some might look for a local church to attend -- while others might be listening to online services in their rooms or common areas.

A location with several choices and no-set-in-stone itineraries seemed to work best -- at least on a small scale.

Looks like I dodged #1.

People might want to take note that Lynx enjoys cooking for people.

A LOT of people.

Even when there aren't that many people there.

He identifies as a cat -- but he fixes food like the head cook of an army unit.

And if you have any specialty items -- cough, low-carb bread, cough. It doesn't matter if there are literally 4 other loaves of regular bread on the counter (because there were.)

He will have the best of intentions, but, like a mad scientist let loose in a laboratory, he's bound to grab those specimens first -- even though he didn't actually mean to.

Oh don't you worry.

We're putting you in charge of the coffee.

Based on your reptuation, I expect to see at least one coffee maker in the kitchen, one in the closet, then in the pantry, laundry room, on the back porch, across from the hot tub, a full-blown station in the shed (Rodney likes to check out the tool situation and you have to tie him down so he won't fixs things,) and separate ones at each of corner of the pool (and near each quadrant if the pool happens to be round or oval.)

If, during any time at this meetup, I am EVER in a space more than 2 feet away from a coffee maker, I am going to be SORELY disappointed, Sir!!

What should I do with the rest of them?

I would, no kidding, rent a tour bus and drive it, to pick up people and to drop them off.

But the people I pick up would not be able to bail out whenever they want. That's one downside.

LOL!

Yup.

That's exactly the kind of answer I should have anticipated.

And now I know why we need rent a bus (or fleet.)

We're going to need it (or them) just to carry all of NightTwister's coffee makers.

Is it bad to admit that now I really wish we could hold a meetup -- and that a few troublemakers would actually show up...

Because I really want to see how the people mentioned in this post take them down.

I'm pretty sure watching @Susanna go on a bonafide raid in person would be worth the travel costs!

Speaking of dodging bullets, we'll need someone in charge of ammunitions supply.

I prefer a .22, rifle or pistol, or both, but I don't know how unlimited access to coffee might factor into that.

Contingency plan B: bus fare home for one, maybe two at the most. Does anyone have frequent flyer miles to contribute? @Eli1 perhaps?

I have a Sig 40cal. I prefer stopping power.

We could pimp this ride...into The CC Contraption

My sis has a house in.... complete with a bus garage...well, actually an airplane hangar...that...

ok, I'm deactivating my nerd mode... until further notice.

OH OH OH !!!!!
What happens if a whole bunch of crabby, turn EVERYTHING into a debate members show up, and just want to argue in person about politics, or worse complain about the location and 20 reasons why it's not the right spot?

OH! And for those who have never met in person before or shown themselves in photos, how about a game of "guess who I am"?

'Round these parts, we encourage (and even egg on) Nerd Mode Activation.

Please, do carry on.