Hey Everyone,
A long time ago, in a forum setting far, far away... (This thread is going to be long -- my apologies in advance.)
There was a time when this site had talked about having a site-wide CC meetup. There was a rough outline of hiring a worship band for a 3-day event (but if I'm remembering this wrong, I hope the old timers here will correct me.) Eventually the idea was scrapped, and now after attending a few small group meetups myself, I can certainly see why.
In my 15 years on CC, I've met about 20 people in person, but never more than 5 at one time. It was hard enough to coordinate work schedules and a location with just that number of people -- I can't imagine trying to do something across the entire site. The very first meetup I went to started out as the brainchild of about 20 people in Singles live chat room (back when it existed,) who also posted daily on the forums (so we knew each other well.) But in the end, as could be forseen, only 6 were able to go due to distance, time, and cost.
I've been meeting people through writing (paper letters, long before you could look up anything about them online) and sometimes in person since I was 15, so for me, it's just a normal social behavior. But it does take a very long time and tons of work to form such friendships and plans -- I've been friends with the people I meetup with now for 5-10+ years, which is only by the grace of God. I know this would not work for most people, especially across long distances.
I also haven't met anyone else in person from CC since the live chats ended, because I find it crucial to get to know how someone reacts in real time and around other people (if challenged, do they fly off the handle? Do they treat men and women differently? Are their statements consistent? Etc., etc.)
I travel about once a year and will get in touch with people from the area I know and trust, asking if they want to/are able to meetup. We have talked for YEARS about how to expand this to other CC members who might be interested -- but there are a slew of issues, such as:
1. Safety and privacy are always top priority.
I've known too many stories of people who have been stalked over the internet -- both male and female -- to the point where it was necessary to get lawyers, police, and a restraining order involved.
For example -- What if a meetup is announced, and Sam has a huge crush on Missy? Missy doesn't even realize how much. She attends the meetup, not to meet Sam, but other friends she's excited to see. Sam latches on to Missy -- and since the meetup is only 2 towns away, he now has a good idea of where she lives. With a little sweet talk, he's able to finagle her personal information from another unknowingy attendee -- and is refusing to take no for an answer.
2. How can people find trustworthy roommates to split expenses with?
Even the most devout Christian may have problems with theft, drinking, or substances they feel are fine (smoking certain plants,) but would not be acceptable to someone else.
3. How do we prevent anyone who organizes such an event from becoming a bagholder?
Our group has long decided that everyone is responsible for making their own arrangements. This way, no one gets stuck paying an entire deposit or hotel bill by themselves when someone else doesn't show or has an emergency.
I had a family member wind up in the emergency room and is still recovering, so I understand that emergencies happen and plans can change in a literaly heartbeat. But no one else should be obligated to for someone else because of it.
4. How could we find a place to hang out comfortably and still be fair to the places we wind up at?
The last time I met up with people, we thought of making an announcement on CC such as, "Some of us are going to be at Crazy Harry's Roadkill Cafe on August 3 at 1 PM -- y'all come join us if you can!"
But if 20 people show up and take over the restaurant, it's not fair to them because the conversations might go on for some time (which we want!) -- and the poor waitstaff would be dying for us to leave so they could bring in more paying customers.
5. How far in advance do people need to know?
I like to have at least a year to plan and save up. The last meetup I went to took 2 relentless years of constantly trying to coordinate schedules, travel plans, and finances -- and that was only with 6 people. So we are fairly familiar with how hard it is to make these kinds of plans.
6. What happens if people have to back out? Wil the entire thing have to be canceled?
If certain key people/organizers have to back out at the last minute, what will happen? If enough people have actually paid to rent a place but several have to cancel, what happens to the remainder of those who still want to go?
I have been thinking of what my travel plans might be next year... I would love to somehow plan and arrange for some kind of meetup that could extend to any interested members in the area(s) I might be in.
* Would anyone be interested in attending some kind of meetup event, and what are your ideas of how to do so safely?
A long time ago, in a forum setting far, far away... (This thread is going to be long -- my apologies in advance.)
There was a time when this site had talked about having a site-wide CC meetup. There was a rough outline of hiring a worship band for a 3-day event (but if I'm remembering this wrong, I hope the old timers here will correct me.) Eventually the idea was scrapped, and now after attending a few small group meetups myself, I can certainly see why.
In my 15 years on CC, I've met about 20 people in person, but never more than 5 at one time. It was hard enough to coordinate work schedules and a location with just that number of people -- I can't imagine trying to do something across the entire site. The very first meetup I went to started out as the brainchild of about 20 people in Singles live chat room (back when it existed,) who also posted daily on the forums (so we knew each other well.) But in the end, as could be forseen, only 6 were able to go due to distance, time, and cost.
I've been meeting people through writing (paper letters, long before you could look up anything about them online) and sometimes in person since I was 15, so for me, it's just a normal social behavior. But it does take a very long time and tons of work to form such friendships and plans -- I've been friends with the people I meetup with now for 5-10+ years, which is only by the grace of God. I know this would not work for most people, especially across long distances.
I also haven't met anyone else in person from CC since the live chats ended, because I find it crucial to get to know how someone reacts in real time and around other people (if challenged, do they fly off the handle? Do they treat men and women differently? Are their statements consistent? Etc., etc.)
I travel about once a year and will get in touch with people from the area I know and trust, asking if they want to/are able to meetup. We have talked for YEARS about how to expand this to other CC members who might be interested -- but there are a slew of issues, such as:
1. Safety and privacy are always top priority.
I've known too many stories of people who have been stalked over the internet -- both male and female -- to the point where it was necessary to get lawyers, police, and a restraining order involved.
For example -- What if a meetup is announced, and Sam has a huge crush on Missy? Missy doesn't even realize how much. She attends the meetup, not to meet Sam, but other friends she's excited to see. Sam latches on to Missy -- and since the meetup is only 2 towns away, he now has a good idea of where she lives. With a little sweet talk, he's able to finagle her personal information from another unknowingy attendee -- and is refusing to take no for an answer.
2. How can people find trustworthy roommates to split expenses with?
Even the most devout Christian may have problems with theft, drinking, or substances they feel are fine (smoking certain plants,) but would not be acceptable to someone else.
3. How do we prevent anyone who organizes such an event from becoming a bagholder?
Our group has long decided that everyone is responsible for making their own arrangements. This way, no one gets stuck paying an entire deposit or hotel bill by themselves when someone else doesn't show or has an emergency.
I had a family member wind up in the emergency room and is still recovering, so I understand that emergencies happen and plans can change in a literaly heartbeat. But no one else should be obligated to for someone else because of it.
4. How could we find a place to hang out comfortably and still be fair to the places we wind up at?
The last time I met up with people, we thought of making an announcement on CC such as, "Some of us are going to be at Crazy Harry's Roadkill Cafe on August 3 at 1 PM -- y'all come join us if you can!"
But if 20 people show up and take over the restaurant, it's not fair to them because the conversations might go on for some time (which we want!) -- and the poor waitstaff would be dying for us to leave so they could bring in more paying customers.
5. How far in advance do people need to know?
I like to have at least a year to plan and save up. The last meetup I went to took 2 relentless years of constantly trying to coordinate schedules, travel plans, and finances -- and that was only with 6 people. So we are fairly familiar with how hard it is to make these kinds of plans.
6. What happens if people have to back out? Wil the entire thing have to be canceled?
If certain key people/organizers have to back out at the last minute, what will happen? If enough people have actually paid to rent a place but several have to cancel, what happens to the remainder of those who still want to go?
I have been thinking of what my travel plans might be next year... I would love to somehow plan and arrange for some kind of meetup that could extend to any interested members in the area(s) I might be in.
* Would anyone be interested in attending some kind of meetup event, and what are your ideas of how to do so safely?
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