Why Trying to Find a Husband Isn't My First Priority Anymore -- Because It Very Much Used to Be.

Yes. The cold hard fact is that children with no one to care for them become a commodity to be sold to whoever will profit of them the most, whether it be the government or in some cases, the services that set up the adoptions.


Tabin, I always appreciate your kind and loving heart. You spend a lot of time welcoming and encouraging people here.

I was just wondering... What do you feel is best to tell people who don't get what they've asked God for, or the miracle they've believed on, or the healing they firmly thought they would have? (Like Paul being denied having his thorn taken away.)

I ask because I was in a church that pushed strongly for healings, almost to the point where if you weren't healed, it was because you or those around you didn't have enough faith.

The matriarch of one of the most faith-filled families in the church was in a wheelchair, and to my knowledge, was never healed. She needed help with everything and her husband had taken care of her, but he died very suddenly and it was a huge shock. One of their children and their spouse took over the role of caretaker.

I remember seeing her in church and greeting her one morning, asking how she was, and she said, "As well as one can be when they're disabled and don't have a husband." She would have loved to have found another husband. She would have loved to have been healed. If any family believed, I know it would have been them. But it never happened.

The toughest time I had on the prayer team was when we prayed for a young couple who was pregnant. They were told ahead of time that their baby had a life-threatening condition that would most likely end in death. But we prayed and prayed every week, laid hands on her, and one Sunday I could feel the baby moving under my hand. I BELIEVED!! I just knew that God was going to heal this little one!!!

The baby died as she was giving birth. He never made it through the birth canal. And the worst thing to me was she came back to us and told us how everyone was saying to her, "How's the baby? Where's the baby? I want to see the baby!!"

I went home and bawled for her, asking God what we'd done wrong, because we BELIEVED.

I was just wondering, do you have any advice about what to say to people to whom God says, "Not yet," or even, "No"?

I know what to say to someone who got their miracle -- "Praise God for His wonderous works!!!"

But I NEVER know what to say to someone who didn't get their miracle while others have, and those always seem to be the people God sends to me.

Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated!

@seoulsearch GREAT questions. As to the Paul's affliction topic, many people may not realize this Scripture:
'or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me', 2 Cor 12:7. This is implying that when Paul was caught up to the 'Third Heaven',
'I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of it I do not know, but God knows' 2 Cor 12:2, the Lord had to kinda 'ground' Paul lest he become too uplifted, lol.
Anyway that's my take on that, and I always present it in that debate about Paul's thorn, and so people can see what they think.
More to come a bit later, landlady duties are at hand😍

I have no idea what to say to other people in such a situation. All I know is what I say to me when that happens.

Something like "Huh... I honestly thought I desperately needed that. Well if I didn't get what I thought I needed, what kind of life is my life going to be where I won't need that?" Then I wait for a bit to see what happens.

But I have observed a lot of people do NOT like to think about that when they don't get what they want. So I don't say it to them.

No idea what I SHOULD say to them though.

@seoulsearch To the other questions, first I don't have answers myself for miscarriages & etc, why babies are born with a illness, why some people Christian and/or non die instantly in accidents. I think these go deep and only God knows but having had a daughter myself go to heaven, I miss her deeply but am happy she is saved and I know right where she is.
On the healing issue, I go by an old timer's testimony, Ken Hagin Sr. He was born with a bad heart, had a blood problem and was paralyzed at 15. The top Drs at the time said he had to die of any of the illnesses he had. He said he could barely move the pages but his ma propped a Bible up and when he got to Mk 11:23-24 he said he knew that was the key. He was a man of God and had asked God why he believed but didn't get healed. The Lord told him he needed to know more to build his faith. So after 15 or16 months of being bedridden and no hope from the Drs, he got up and stood up and was healed of everything. He went on to preach into his eighties, in good health.
Dodie Osteen was told she had a few wks to live in Dec 1981, but her husband, Joel Osteen's father, told the Dr they believed in miracles. She just turned 90 and her testimony is amazing. She stood on God's word/promises and didn't give up.
There are so many Scriptures on healing and Jesus himself said 'Your faith has made you whole' and 'As your faith is be it unto you' Mt9:29.
I know for myself, I'm progressing in faith more & more as I delve into the Word and realize truths I never thought about before.
But, to sum it up, I believe FAITH, is the key. Is anything impossible with God, we know the answer. When we have a promise of God, claim it, believe it and not doubt, we will have it, says God Mk 11:24. If you have a minute Preacher Hagin's testimony gives his experience. Warning it may be rated PG-13, some intense stuff involved😂🙌

Hi Tabin,

I always appreciate that you take the time to write such thoughtful answers. Thank you so much for your compassion and kindness.

I am so sorry about your daughter but will be very glad to meet her someday in heaven. ❤️

I'm certainly no expert, but was in a church with members who are very passionate about healing ministry. They held classes in which they played recordings of Charles and Frances Hunter. Some people even left the church because they wanted to pursue their own healing ministries, believing this is what would fill the church. One lady told me, "Healing is going to draw people here from hundreds of miles! This church is going to be packed!"

It never happened.

I know of many healing stories, but I haven't met anyone yet who, let's say, was crippled from birth and was fully restored. Now, I'm sure there are stories like that out there. But if I can tell you the honest truth, healings stories are never what draw me, because God always seems to send me to the ones who aren't getting their miracle.

I have no doubt that God can do anything, and that everyone will be healed in heaven. I have absolutely no doubts about that whatsoever. But what I don't know, is His timing on when all believers will be healed. Some in this life, for sure -- but often not for others. I just read a prayer request right here on the forum of someone who is not getting healed, and this is when stories of miracles actually break my heart -- because for some reason, miracles seem to very selective.

The Christian author Philip Yancey pointed out in one of his books (I wish I had written down which one,) that even when Jesus did perform many miracles here on earth -- it did not produce lasting faith in the crowds. Of the 10 lepers, only 1 came back to thank Jesus. Even God's own people of Israel who received continuous miracles on their way to the Promised Land turned away time and time again. The book wonders aloud if maybe God doesn't do more miracles because for most, the effect on faith doesn't last very long.

Now of course, some people, like the ones you mentioned above, go on to have great ministries. But there are so many others who get left behind. I think often of the woman I told you about, Mrs. S, sitting in the back of the church, faithfully raising her hands as best she could, praising at every service, but never getting healed. Just imagine if people really HAD come from hundreds of miles and gotten healed, while here was a faithful lifetime church member whose own prayers were, for some reason, always denied.

Her case is especially tragic because she was once fully abled and worked in the medical field. She loves people and loved caring for them. Her ailment was something she unknowingly caught from a patient. She gradually lost control of her muscles, shaking uncontrollably, and her employer threatened to fire her because he thought it was from drinking. Eventually, it worsened to the point where she has very little control of any of her muscles at all.

God always sends me to the people who haven't gotten their miracles. For myself, I can't tell them about great stories of healing because they already know them all (as many churches have told them repeatedly they could be healed if they JUST HAD FAITH like this other person!) Is God capable? Of course! But is He going to? I'm certainly not going to try to guess or give any false hope.

All I can do is pray that God will help me be of some small comfort to them along the way.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Tabin. Your posts always convey love and hope, and I'm going to take some of that with to hopefully pass on to those I encounter.

God bless you! ❤️

Ooooh.... Yeah, it's probably a good thing that never happened. Jesus didn't heal people to draw a crowd. He healed people because they needed help. He even told one guy to keep his mouth shut, and when the guy ran his mouth anyway it caused Jesus something of an impediment.

But if God did do that - if He did throw out a lot of flashy miracles and draw a big crowd to that church - what would that church have become? Many would be drawn to the church with no interest in being Christians. A lot of people would come by to use God as a vending machine and then go on their way. That wouldn't do any good, and would probably tear the church apart.

They should probably be very glad they did not get what they wanted. I know I am often glad, in hindsight, when I realize what would have happened if I had got what I wanted.

CS Lewis said something about if miracles weren't rare we wouldn't call them miracles we'd call them ordinaries (if we called them anything at all)

Very insightful -- thank you both so much for sharing this.

I know there's so much talk about God healing, and as I said, I certainly have NO doubts that God CAN heal -- I just don't know when or if He will choose to.

I wear glasses -- a very high prescription. I had a condition as a child where my bottom eyelashes were turned inward, resting on my eyeballs. My Mom actually noticed this and they took me to doctor after doctor who had no clue what to do. They finally found a surgeon who had served in the Korean War, and had an idea of what to try, as this was never seen in small, white towns. My poor parents. They had no clue what they would be in for when they adopted me! The doctor said if I didn't get it corrected, I would have gone blind by the time I was in my 20's (the lashes scrape off the corneas.) Things my parents saved me from! And it took 4 surgeries to correct.

Nowadays, it's considered almost common in some areas and can be fixed with an outpatient procedure.

Every time I need new lenses, I save up extra money for the high-index plastic version that can be rolled as thinly as possible. Real glass lenses would probably feel like lead weights on my face. But even the plastic lenses sometimes feel like goggles to me, especially into the summer.

I would never give someone in a wheelchair a big sermon on healing, because obviously, I'm not healed myself. I would love to have 20/20 vision without glasses (and the glands in my eyelids don't produce enough oil, so I can't wear contacts.)

And of course I am NOT trying AT ALL to compare poor eyesight with being in a wheelchair. Heaven forbid!!

But what I AM saying is, I've seen many Christians in the church circles I've been in lecturing other Christians about how "they can be healed" if they "just have enough faith" and "don't doubt" -- and these same Christians talking about the healing -- are wearing glasses. or contact lenses.

Now am I saying we shouldn't talk about or believe in healing? Absolutely not.

But am I the only one who finds it so incredibly ironic? Why aren't people giving these lectures required to tack on a disclaimer saying, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with MY faith. I mean, obviously MY eyes aren't healed, but never mind that -- I'm here to tell YOU how to get healed and how it's YOUR fault -- or someone around you -- for not believing if you don't."

Just toss this one on the pile of the many things I've seen that trouble me in the Christian community.

Even Jesus commented that in Naaman's day there were many lepers, but only the foreigner Naaman was healed.

Yeah, no, they didn't like that when Jesus said it either.

I understand totally where everyone's coming from. This is what I'm seeking;
' And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover', Mk 16:17-19
John 14:12 Truly, truly, I tell you, whoever believes in Me will also do the works that I am doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.
This is what I'm striving for and as for miracles, I've been experiencing them for years🙏🙌 (said w/love and peace😍)

You know…people…

Amen.

Hi Tabin,

I hope the things I've said hasn't discouraged you from seeking God's great works and I apologize if my words were offensive to you.

I would LOVE to hear about miracles so powerful that they are far beyond anything even Jesus did while He was here, just as the Bible says. If you have any you'd like to share or have some in the future you'd like to talk about, please let us know.

It would do my heart very glad to hear about such success stories.

You're always here encouraging others and lifting them up -- including me.

Thank you so much for that. ❤️

@seoulsearch --

i've been thinking about this since i read this thread, and some similar things you said in another one, and i had to tell you how much i admire you. i don't think i could have gone to an orphanage, or many other things you've done.
you are truly remarkable!

actual conversation i had with my mom when i was 17:

me: i think i'll go to nursing school.

mom: oh? sounds good, what is your goal in nursing?

me: i love kids, so i'd like to work in the pediatrics unit of a hospital.

mom: okay, sweetheart, i'll visit you in prison.

me: ... ... mom, do you think i'll be so incompetent i'll injure or kill a baby???

mom: no, i think the first time you have to treat a child who's been abused, you'll steal that little one away to keep her safe.

mom may have been right. thank you, seoul, for using that generous heart the Lord has given you for the sake of others.

@notmyown ❤️

I've always been a little bit "different" -- odd, I suppose. I used to hate that. But as I got older, I understood why. One of the best things I like about hearing other people's stories is that it teaches us cautionary tales about ourselves.

When I spent time writing and visiting inmates in prison, one had a story that was horrifying beyond what you would think a human being, most especially a child, could endure. As a teenager, he shot and killed one of his abusers. By the time I talked to him, he was in his 30's and would spend the rest of his life in prison. And it's a story that twists and turns every which way. As much as my soul cried for his lost innocence, I have no doubt that what he went through changed him into someone who would seriously hurt others anytime they made him angry and could never live a normal life.

I could not have endured repeated, continual abuse. Even if it happened today, I know I would get to a point where I would fight back and think little of the consequences.

I had a situation in my adult life in which I felt a need to defend myself. But my anger went too far, and the Holy Spirit told me plain as day, "SEOUL. STOP. Or this is going to turn into something serious." Fortunately, God got me out of that whole mess for good.

People would often ask me, "Why would you talk to inmates?" And my answer was, "Because I see myself in them." I have no doubt that if God had not shielded me from certain things, I would have wound up on a similar path. Perhaps not as severe, but my heart would have looked the same. In fact, I was going through a very tough time at one point and one of the inmates wrote me and said, "If you don't get a grip on your anger and learn to forgive, you are going to wind up in a cell just like me."

I often feel guilty that God DID spared me from so much, but I feel a God-given duty to try to help others because of it.

I absolutely love that your mom responded to you with such wit and wisdom all at the same time (now we know where you get it from!) And what I love most is that she knew you well enough to give such a biting, but loving reply.

Thank you so much for all the kindness you've shown me all these years, @notmyown. Your post means the world to me not just because of what was said, but because of who it came from.

One of the things I love most about you is that you are able to speak to all kinds of people in wisdom, but without ever sounding like you're talking down to them or belittling them. Because of that, when you talk, especially about your family and life, I hang on every word.

You have an amazing gift from the Holy Spirit for making people feel heard when you talk to them, and I thank God for you! ❤️🌹🥰

Thank you so much for your kind and so very generous post.

thank you!! ♥

now all that's left to do is set up a time for the first meeting of our Mutual Admiration Society!

So I'm new here. I'm not only new but I've never done this before. Is There A way to talk one on one with others in here?

I'm wanting to meet new christian friends.

Howdy and welcome to the forum.

There is a private chat, but we rarely use it. Mostly we chat here in these threads.

Thanks for your reply