I've always wanted to ask.......

We could be friends I think. 🤔😄

Divorced after 19 years and five kids ( ages 8 through 25 ).

I salute you!!!

Hi Sean!

I am honored by your question, thank you so much!

You know what's going to sound strange coming after my other thread -- when it comes to boots-to-the-ground work, I'm actually much better with adults than with kids. Some people have a natural gift with children -- my siblings all have it. But it's not something that comes natural to me. I can care for and love on kids for a short amount of time, but I'm better acting as a support to those who are called to kids full-time.

Rather, my calling seems to be with people who have been through extreme things. For about an 8 year stretch, I was very active in writing, and sometimes visiting, prison inmates and military veterans. Now I am not in anyway trying to compare the two (and I apologize profusely to anyone who may be offended by me mentioning both together, ) but the theme is that they've both lived through very intense situations. I have stopped for now (feeling God has told me not to anymore because of safety,) but I would gladly go back to it if possible.

I used to work in various rooms of the children's church but I'm not someone who can read the same stories to kids umpteen times in a row -- and keep my sanity. I told God, "Please, send me back to the prisons!"

A CC friend said, "You're still called to other people's kids -- it's just that you come in after they're all grown up."

My friend Lee told me that she and her other adopted friends joke about their "flat heads." Kids who have spent extended time in orphanages often experience a "flattening" of the back of their heads due to laying in cribs unattended for so long. Orphanages with babies are known to uncannily quiet, because the babies have learned that no one will come when they cry.

An inmate and I were corresponding about this, and about how it's been documented that babies can die without enough touch and human interaction.

This inmate wrote back with something I will never forget: "Grown men die too -- just in other ways."

It's something I think about and pray over often.

One of my favorite things about interacting with people here on the forum is that I'm always hoping that maybe it's making someone (including me) a little less lonely, if even for a moment.

Maybe you'll luck out and meet her during a tax season where she at least slightly grumbles.

@Rosemaryx ,

Hi Rosemary!

I know you've posted pictures in the past of your beautiful gardening work. I'm always a bit envious because I do not have that talent. This is the second year I've tried to grow pansies and cosmos from seeds -- and the most I can get are plants, but no flowers.

Did you have a special gift for gardening from the beginning, or do you think it's mostly been through trial and error?

I mean, you obviously have a gift for it , but did it come easy to you, or were there a lot of frustrations along the way?

Somebody who is good at the things I am not good at.

Somebody who is not good at the things I am good at.

Somebody who has the wisdom to know it's okay for us to be good at different things, and the patience to figure out which things those are.

If I married somebody exactly like me, why would she need me? For that matter, why would I need her? But if I married somebody who was not aware that it's okay for us to be different and have different viewpoints, we would probably be REALLY bitter at each other.

Quote from a Pickles comic:
"Mom do you and dad still love each other?"
"What?! Of course we do! What kind of question is that?"
"Well you both seem to argue a lot."
"Shoot, if we both agreed on everything, that would just mean one of us isn't necessary anymore. Talking about it is how we figure out which one of us is right this time."

Hi @seoulsearch ...
It was all trial and error , not really knowing what I was doing , but Itruly believe it was Gods guidence as I went along...
Many things failed , but many things bloomed ...I am waiting to move home now , down sizeing to a smaller home so my garden is over grown with weeds , I cannot handle it no more...

But I have some beautiful house plants inside my home , all doing well , grown from babies , and again I see the Lords good hand teaching me...I would love to explain more , but the 5 minutes is creeping up ...Wishing you a beautiful day/evening dear sister...xox...

well im off to the gym people...ill do a few reps for you while im there.

Getting my energy drink before the gym so I'm wired and ready to rock.

Thank you so much for your heartfelt reply!

Stories like yours are important because you include the fact that some things didn't work out. So many times when I'm trying to learn things from the internet, people only talk about their wins and none of the fails or losses.

I actually need to hear about those more! I get frustrated when I try things and they don't work out the first time, because some people make it look like every thing they do turns out perfect. I prefer a more realistic portrayal.

I totally understand about God's guidance. I was working on a sewing pattern once and was completely stumped, but felt God was telling me to rotate it in a way I hadn't thought of. Isn't it the most amazing feeling when God shows us things we can't think of ourselves?

God bless and I hope you love your new home!🌹🌸🌻

@stingray72 what are you working out today?

What kind of gym you go to? Planet Fitness? Gold's? Local gym?

Do you live in mortal fear of leg day? Or is it just another workout day?

That's one thing I look very forward to is when I own my own home...it truly is a great blessing.

Planet fitness you guessed it you can't beat 10 dollars a month leg day is non existent for me but that upper body gets it's work done. It my prayer that others of you would start and find out the many benefits it can have in your life.

Whoops! Just saw where you have cerebral palsy. Ignore the part about leg day. I hear many bodybuilders fear that day.

"I just came home from leg day. I walked up a whole flight of stairs to my apartment and only cried for half an hour."

I see your salute, and I raise you one salute.

well, i don't know about most people, but what i didn't understand is "you're gonna fail".
despite your great love for your children, and your hard work and best intentions, there will be times you will let your kiddos down, times you don't do it right, times you actually sin against them. and that's when you need to remember two little words:

BUT GOD.

don't discount God's activity in your life and the lives of your children. be quick to acknowledge it when you sin against them (i guarantee this will happen), and ask for their forgiveness. oh, little ones are so ready to forgive, even when we don't ask, but we must confess and ask.
pray for them, and btw pray for their future spouses, should they come. if you're blessed, as i have been, to be married to their dad, pray for him, and remember you're a team.

side note: there were days when Mark would come home from work, take one look at me, and gently ask, "is there a friend who would like to meet you for coffee at the diner this evening? i can take dinner, bath time, and bedtime today; you just relax." that's teamwork, too. makes me wonder just what my face looked like those days, lol.

Your good man so you work out that's good. How long have you made that a part of your life?

how much time do you have?

six of our children grew to be adults, thanks be to God. it's been such a privilege to see how different they are, and yet how much they love one another. they have a private group on facebook our son has named "sibling thrivalry".
i can't say what a comfort it it, as my husband and i approach the day we'll leave the land of the dying and go to the land of the living, that they have each other to depend on. and i can't say how much i've learned through them. we homeschooled them, but they've been the teachers far more than we ever were.

oh, and grandchildren! lol

isn't our Lord just wonderful?