Recommendations for Improving Small Groups

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JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,177
2,478
113
#21
Since the year I was saved, 35 years ago, I'm often very sorry that people have to present their homes as perfect before they can host a small group meeting. I suppose it's because people are afraid of being judged. I find that unfortunate because hosts are rare. Homes in various states of messy are normal, and it's not unheard of in our churches to experience people judging one another and even gossiping about one another. I go out of my way to honor hosts and encourage them to not feel driven to perfection, because I want them to enjoy hosting and not feel burdened by it. I've experienced out-of-control small groups, and that wasn't too much of a challenge: the group in addition to the leader handled that well and with grace. What I really wish were happening is encouragement from the pulpit for participating in small groups, as there are people in the congregation who need it and need the intimacy of it, and need a way to start forging friendships, which to me doesn't happen in the before-Sunday-go-to-meeting and the after Sunday go to meeting parts of the church's ministry on Sundays. I myself strongly feel those needs, as I'm 75, single (Divorced at 60 and not at all used to it), and still fairly new to my present church. I know from experience that I'm not the only one with those desires. My former wife and I hosted meetings, and I've led meetings in church and other homes, but I don't think I can host a meeting now because my house is only 800 sq ft. What can I do to help encourage the people I congregate with to actually actually realize that they want/would value small group fellowship? Should I approach my pastor about it? About pastors, I worry a bit that they're already overburdened with the congregation's wants and needs.
Meeting at someone's home is fine if you are all friends beforehand...
But small groups are supposed to be open and inviting of strangers....
And a home is way too intimate of a setting. If I don't know you I'm not coming to your house.

I like coffee shops, donut shops, bread shops and etc. Nice and inexpensive and less formal or too much intimacy demanded.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#22
Another example might be expanding the small group, planting new churches, and then carrying on from there. If a small group remains a small group then you have problem.
If you are in America there is a church every 5 blocks. Maybe support one of the umpteen dozen churches in your area. Im not sure why a small group must grow, it probably will.if you are consistent in your meeting times amd places, and those attending have a sense of purpose for going.
 
Jan 4, 2023
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#23
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Meeting at someone's home is fine if you are all friends beforehand...
But small groups are supposed to be open and inviting of strangers....
And a home is way too intimate of a setting. If I don't know you I'm not coming to your house.

I like coffee shops, donut shops, bread shops and etc. Nice and inexpensive and less formal or too much intimacy demanded.
I I don't want to try to convince anyone who doesn't want to be convinced, that would be pushy, or cruel. People who attended the groups I attended were not friends beforehand, and almost without exception were blessed by what happens in such small groups. There is a "small group dynamic" that allows ppl to open up and lets them be known to mere acquaintances, who subsequently become friends. I think we have an instinct to form familial groups, it facilitates the meetings. To be known is a foundational human need, but proving that takes too much proving.
To me, a small group fomed by friends is exclusive, and because I'm not of them, it's a clique. A group like that would not invite non-friends to join in on the blessings they gain from their intimacy. A group formed for the purpose of uniting mere aquaintences "is* welcoming to others, I don't relate to the idea that it can't be, and yes it does take time for newbies to assimilate, but it's a loving process.. It's not at all like joining the Elk's Club, or a worldly In Crowd. I certainly do understand many peoples' reluctance to approach a group that has already achieved a measure of it, it's valid to be hesitant or afraid, because that's the human condition. I own that fear, it used to rule me, but it's much smaller now. One group that I shared "leading" met in a 12' x 16' library meeting room, and after a few months of weekly meeting began to be well known to each other, sharing each others burdens and joys as we felt comfortable to do, and that is just as intimate as a home meeting. But I'm not here to threaten or convince anyone, my question was about how to be inviting, to ppl who might like to share their lives. Those who don't are just as acceptable, we are all in Christ.
 

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2013
1,987
372
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#24
One of the best ways to keep people interested in a small group is give them ownership of it. Each week ask someone to be responsible for the next one and they can do anything as they feel led by the Spirit. In one group where the leader hogged the limelight, he was away one week so we had to take over. I took the opportunity to ask about having a meal together. They all agreed and it turned out to be the best meeting we had ever had. No one wanted to go home.

In another group which I had initiated and which met monthly on a Saturday evening, I asked everyone to host an evening and the host could choose what we did. It was a roaring success and everyone attending loved it.

A sure way to turn people off is make the small group a mini church service.
 

Ballaurena

Well-known member
May 27, 2024
415
273
63
#25
I’ve been in many small groups, and led small groups in the past, and am in the process of starting a small group right now because there’s a dearth of small groups at my church, particularly for the guys. Sometimes, it feels like the best way to join a small group is to just start one yourself! Why is it so hard to get small groups going? Is it just where I am that it’s like this? What issues do you guys see with small groups that you see need to be changed or improved or done differently so that people are growing?
1) Let Holy Sprit lead through the whole body rather than planning a lesson or mini service. This is uncomfortable at first as we are so used to fearfully defaulting to human control, but really, when God is allowed to take command through each and every member of the body sharing what He has given them, He will. There may be a learning curve as people unlearn passivity, though. Ultimately this will call out Christians to want to come as God gives us burdens to share what He has given us with others. Examples include sharing what God is teaching, sharing what is going on in their life, sharing one's needs, writing songs to God, practicing tongues and prophecy, etc. but it is best when people learn to read where God is taking things in the moment. For example, God can point the body to a person who is unable or unwilling to bring up an issue themself.

2) Related to #1, God told my house church not to host in your own home because then you will think it is your group instead of His.
 

Edify

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2021
1,554
648
113
#27
Another example might be expanding the small group, planting new churches, and then carrying on from there. If a small group remains a small group then you have problem.
At one time I would agree with you, but lately it seems smaller groups work better.
 

Edify

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2021
1,554
648
113
#28
NEVER put a strict limit on what might happen. Someone opens the study in prayer & it may move into a passionate time of worship.
Remember, when 2 or 3 are gathered together in His name He is in the midst.


As the Bible says "Never give place to the devil". Many times we still have failures by never giving place to God to do what He wants. :eek:
One doesn't have to be Pentecostal to let God have His way. ;)
Galatians 5:16
English Standard Version
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.


Another reason never to put a strict limit on what might happen.... You may never know where God is taking you as a group until you're there. It might form a good study group, but it might slowly form into a congregation that needs to be a church. So many has started that way.

The main thing is, put Christ as the Head, & let Him lead.:)
 

Chaps

Active member
Apr 3, 2024
307
114
43
California
#29
I’ve been in many small groups, and led small groups in the past, and am in the process of starting a small group right now because there’s a dearth of small groups at my church, particularly for the guys. Sometimes, it feels like the best way to join a small group is to just start one yourself! Why is it so hard to get small groups going? Is it just where I am that it’s like this? What issues do you guys see with small groups that you see need to be changed or improved or done differently so that people are growing?
I understand your struggle, and dont pretend to have the answers. From my experience, the two primary challenges are: 1) time and 2) engaging groups.

With the first challenge, it’s hard to reconcile. It seems, more than ever, people have packed schedules that make it difficult to commit to times throughout the week for meeting. I’d love to be in a small group, but often my work schedule has me getting up at 4-5am and getting home around 6pm. I’m usually very tired by this point and often, after dinner and spending a little time with the family, there just isn’t enough time or energy for driving to a group for an hour or so. And, when you do find people that have a few hours to spare for such small groups, getting those times to line up for everyone is a challenge. One person may have extra time on a Wednesday, while another has more time on Saturdays. It’s a real challenge.

The second issue we can do something about. Unfortunately, when I have made time to attend small group studies, I have found that often they can be very unengaging. Some groups have the small group leader doing most, or nearly all the talking. And maybe the things they are talking about aren’t issues that are impacting the people in the group. Other times, when the leader opens things up for discussion, the questions asked are so superficial that people can feel like the group is a bit boring and that they are not learning anything meaningful. So, the next week when it comes time to try to shoehorn in another meeting, people dont make the effort.

So, my only suggestion is to try to make the group as engaging as possible. Ask questions you dont know the answer to. Tackle tough topics and ask follow up questions like, “What do you mean by that? Tell me more.” Or, “How might this topic we are discussing impact your work tomorrow? What could we do differently? How can you apply this principle in a meaningful way tomorrow?” I think the more we can make the conversation probing with practical applications, the more people will see that it is actually helping them in their walk. And then, at the start of the next group, take time for follow up. We talked about *insert topic* last week, anyone have anything they would like to share about how this helped them or challenges they faced applying those scriptures to their day?”

Anyway, I’ve found that to be somewhat helpful, but certainly doesn’t alleviate all the challenges or guarantee the group will grow or maintain regular attendance. Praying your groups go well at your church.
 

RR

Active member
Mar 13, 2022
140
41
28
Indiana
#30
I’ve been in many small groups, and led small groups in the past, and am in the process of starting a small group right now because there’s a dearth of small groups at my church, particularly for the guys. Sometimes, it feels like the best way to join a small group is to just start one yourself! Why is it so hard to get small groups going? Is it just where I am that it’s like this? What issues do you guys see with small groups that you see need to be changed or improved or done differently so that people are growing?
I pastored a small church in New Jersey, when I declined to serve after some 10 years. (Elders, Deacons and other officers were nominated and elected by the members of the congregation on a yearly basis). It wasn't a big deal, we had 3 elders at the time, who took turns with sermons and studies. I relocated to the Midwest, where I associated with a "sister group" (we're an international House Church, each group independent of each other). Then covid hit and we were forced to zoom our studies, but after covid was over, they refused to meet in person, and so we left and began meeting with another group. That said, starting a small group is easy, keeping it is another. What works in our group is that EVERYONE is involved. The congregation decides WHAT to study and HOW to study, the Elders would then make it happen. All our studies were roundtable discussions. We have topical studies, verse by verse Bible studies, sermons, question meetings and we just put together a weekend seminar last week.