Recommendations for Improving Small Groups

[RideDmc]

I’ve been in many small groups, and led small groups in the past, and am in the process of starting a small group right now because there’s a dearth of small groups at my church, particularly for the guys. Sometimes, it feels like the best way to join a small group is to just start one yourself! Why is it so hard to get small groups going? Is it just where I am that it’s like this? What issues do you guys see with small groups that you see need to be changed or improved or done differently so that people are growing?

 

[Billyd]

We started a men's prayer group five or six years ago. We had trouble getting off the ground because of a time suitable for everyone. In today's world, working hours vary, and even many seniors work part time. We decided to meet once a month, but we couldn't more than a five people to meet. One of our men volunteered to fix breakfast, and anther volunteered to help. We finally decided to meet Sunday morning at 7:00 AM, have breakfast at 7:15, and then a period of prayer from 7:45-8:00. We picked one Sunday a month, then invited the men of the church. Today we have most of the men in the congregation meeting with the group.

Where we have not been able to get going, is a women's group, a couples group and a singles group. I believe that our problem is a leader for those groups. We keep praying.

 

[Magenta]

Welcome!

 

[brighthouse98]

Having started up a few myself, I shall give you some tips. The leader of the group must be a leader, meaning he presents something fresh, something to think about not always having the correct answer for it. Example On the first day of my group I talked about my relationship with our Jesus (Mark 5:19-20)

Then I would ask your group what they would enjoy studying, something for everyone to speak on. (SMART!!!) And led the Lord lead you, and always be conscience of that!!!(Rom 8:11-14!!!) Your group will grow!!! I started out we about 11 and in one month it grew to 26! 2. Teach everyone how to remain in God's Will!! (1 Thess 5:18) You already know Jesus believes in you have that same faith for yourself!!

(Another words this is no game, watch what you say!!) Think twice before speaking at all! For a leader is always alert in his mindset to the will of Jesus not self! Another words your group is more important than you are, and they are looking for that to bro!! SO!!! Hope this at least has you consider a few things. Blessing bro!

 

[JohnDB]

Small groups are where friends are made. I like them.
Been at ones that grow and ones that get off the path.

To me,
Asking someone to host is a LOT of trouble. They got to clean and get ready for visitors....and it tends to be too intimate for some people. Neutral ground like a coffee shop or bagel/bread shop is usually better. (Panera is always full of these sorts of things)
I prefer donut shops but the ones in my area weren't very conductive to hosting small groups.

IHOP or some other breakfast place can work too....

Then no matter what the study material is....leave room for open discussion. Encourage it by asking questions. Ask for help. The heart of every Christian man is corrupted with white knight syndrome....guys don't mind helping a brother out. (Or damsel in distress)
Yes the leader's opinion matters but so does other people opinion...and some subjects are complicated beyond any one person's ability to know.

And the theme of your small group can be anything from checking out burgers in your town (as to who has the best) to who has better coffee or best donuts. The cheaper the items the better the participation. (Some people are struggling financially) However, church brewed coffee usually tastes like someone washed tires in it before they put it in an air pot. Just saying....it's not good.

Starting on time is another biggie. Sure arriving early to greet people and talk is great....but some people are pressed for time always. And you want people to consider this time relevant as well as team building.

Starting group chats by text messages.... start a group text message by any one of a number of chat methods or apps. Use it sparingly for group activities needing everyone's knowledge. Overuse will get people annoyed. (Some people are phone slaves)

Be careful if you get one started....don't let it turn into gossip hour or degenerate into conspiracy theories or politics or into any one of a number of wackanoodle theologians with books to sell. (All too common) God is the focus....the other stuff is for before and after.

 

[RideDmc]

Welcome!

Thank you so much, I feel so welcomed! I don't know if that was coincidental or not, but that I think is a key aspect of having a good small group--that is, making sure that people feel welcomed. Thanks so much, Magenta!!!

 

[RideDmc]

Having started up a few myself, I shall give you some tips. The leader of the group must be a leader, meaning he presents something fresh, something to think about not always having the correct answer for it. Example On the first day of my group I talked about my relationship with our Jesus (Mark 5:19-20)

Then I would ask your group what they would enjoy studying, something for everyone to speak on. (SMART!!!) And led the Lord lead you, and always be conscience of that!!!(Rom 8:11-14!!!) Your group will grow!!! I started out we about 11 and in one month it grew to 26! 2. Teach everyone how to remain in God's Will!! (1 Thess 5:18) You already know Jesus believes in you have that same faith for yourself!!

(Another words this is no game, watch what you say!!) Think twice before speaking at all! For a leader is always alert in his mindset to the will of Jesus not self! Another words your group is more important than you are, and they are looking for that to bro!! SO!!! Hope this at least has you consider a few things. Blessing bro!

Thanks so much! That is very helpful! I think you are really onto something in terms of the freshness and asking what people would enjoy studying. I think you are saying a lot when you say the leader must be a leader -- there is a lot going on there! Thanks so much for the thoughtful and helpful advice!

 

[RideDmc]

Small groups are where friends are made. I like them.
Been at ones that grow and ones that get off the path.

To me,
Asking someone to host is a LOT of trouble. They got to clean and get ready for visitors....and it tends to be too intimate for some people. Neutral ground like a coffee shop or bagel/bread shop is usually better. (Panera is always full of these sorts of things)
I prefer donut shops but the ones in my area weren't very conductive to hosting small groups.

IHOP or some other breakfast place can work too....

Then no matter what the study material is....leave room for open discussion. Encourage it by asking questions. Ask for help. The heart of every Christian man is corrupted with white knight syndrome....guys don't mind helping a brother out. (Or damsel in distress)
Yes the leader's opinion matters but so does other people opinion...and some subjects are complicated beyond any one person's ability to know.

And the theme of your small group can be anything from checking out burgers in your town (as to who has the best) to who has better coffee or best donuts. The cheaper the items the better the participation. (Some people are struggling financially) However, church brewed coffee usually tastes like someone washed tires in it before they put it in an air pot. Just saying....it's not good.

Starting on time is another biggie. Sure arriving early to greet people and talk is great....but some people are pressed for time always. And you want people to consider this time relevant as well as team building.

Starting group chats by text messages.... start a group text message by any one of a number of chat methods or apps. Use it sparingly for group activities needing everyone's knowledge. Overuse will get people annoyed. (Some people are phone slaves)

Be careful if you get one started....don't let it turn into gossip hour or degenerate into conspiracy theories or politics or into any one of a number of wackanoodle theologians with books to sell. (All too common) God is the focus....the other stuff is for before and after.

I don't mind meeting at my home, and yes, it's a big hassle for someone else to host. In terms of public places, I suppose there are some good places here but they are not very obvious. There's a couple of IHOPs around but one is some kind of experimental to-go IHOP that I don't really understand.

I'm really interested in the text messaging aspect. What do you think are the appropriate topics for a group chat? Also, I liked your ideas about starting on time and managing the pacing of the group so that we don't overrun the time excessively as that scares people away (it has scared me away from groups).

Interesting idea about the white knight syndrome. Had to look that up to make sure I knew what it was (it wasn't exactly what I thought).

That's a cool idea of having a social theme in terms of checkout out burgers or evaluating coffee or donuts. Donuts are so cool!

How are some of the ways to manage the culture of keeping the group focused and not going off on those crazy tangents you mentioned (gossip, conspiracy, politics, weird theology, etc.)?

Thanks so much for the help!!!

 

[Karlon]

Issues i've seen are 1 person or a couple trying to command the meeting by talking too much. another 1 was a guy leading Bible class who said he was a born again Christian but didn't believe you can know your saved. holy heavens!!! how can someone be a born again Christian & not believe you can know you're saved? i said to him, "what's the point of preaching if you never know you're saved? i pointed him to 1st John chapter 5 verse 13. his wife believes you can get saved anytime. oh yeah, when you're sleeping? she should read 2nd Corinthians 6:2, Hebrews 3:7,8 & Psalms 95:7,8!!!

 

[Magenta]

Thank you so much, I feel so welcomed! I don't know if that was coincidental or not, but that I think is a key aspect
of having a good small group--that is, making sure that people feel welcomed. Thanks so much, Magenta!!!

You Are Welcome! God Bless You

 

[JohnDB]

I don't mind meeting at my home, and yes, it's a big hassle for someone else to host. In terms of public places, I suppose there are some good places here but they are not very obvious. There's a couple of IHOPs around but one is some kind of experimental to-go IHOP that I don't really understand.

I'm really interested in the text messaging aspect. What do you think are the appropriate topics for a group chat? Also, I liked your ideas about starting on time and managing the pacing of the group so that we don't overrun the time excessively as that scares people away (it has scared me away from groups).

Interesting idea about the white knight syndrome. Had to look that up to make sure I knew what it was (it wasn't exactly what I thought).

That's a cool idea of having a social theme in terms of checkout out burgers or evaluating coffee or donuts. Donuts are so cool!

How are some of the ways to manage the culture of keeping the group focused and not going off on those crazy tangents you mentioned (gossip, conspiracy, politics, weird theology, etc.)?

Thanks so much for the help!!!

Group messaging is for letting the group know where the next meeting will be if it changes location. A reminder about scripture reading if you are discussing something in particular. Pics of food or the guys after the meeting. Maybe related noteworthy internet articles if there are any....
As far as keeping the group on track....there are a lot of methods of dealing with this stuff. Group formation and dynamics is a really complicated subject that requires study...and you may or may not have a natural talent for it...but you can learn it.
Being a leader doesn't mean that you actually lead the group on a weekly basis.
It's amazing how one clear voice speaking the truth can set a stage where Biblical truth is the only truth that is truly relevant...and when that path is left by someone everyone will give them the stink eye. Because someone will be a part of the group simply for the friendship and not so much to learn or to lead...just to be a friend.

 

[PennEd]

I’ve been in many small groups, and led small groups in the past, and am in the process of starting a small group right now because there’s a dearth of small groups at my church, particularly for the guys. Sometimes, it feels like the best way to join a small group is to just start one yourself! Why is it so hard to get small groups going? Is it just where I am that it’s like this? What issues do you guys see with small groups that you see need to be changed or improved or done differently so that people are growing?

I’ve led a small group for almost 10 years now.
We vary from a dozen to two dozen people.

We mostly do a Bible study. Very rarely a topic.
We vote on a book in the Bible, and roughly do a chapter a week. In that time, we have done 1/3 of Scripture by books (22).

We plug a computer into a TV, turn up the volume a bit, and start each session with a song, then prayer.

But we also do life together in many various ways.

Also it’s important to do different service projects. Everything from monthly Church chair setup to work on a needy person’s house, to collect funds for different purposes.

Hope this helps! Be blessed.

 

[brighthouse98]

Brother RideDMC, When Jesus roamed the earth as a human who beside him was in charge?? Correct No ONE! Do you know why?? Because he knew the best person to represent him was himself! He did not need anyone to speak on his behalf and neither do you! He had a loyal 11 people who after he left would follow his instructions, not give them! We do not speak to people as if we are above them, we speak to them as Jesus as instructed us to speak to them.

Being included, not isolated from his instruction himself. WE ARE, not you are! A teacher teaches. What the Lord has taught him, he is open to questions, and he can answer them because of the wisdom Jesus has given him to answer., he stays humble because if he does not the Lord will correct him and usually very quickly!!! LOL

I know, I got corrected on a few occasions myself!! LOL But people know that no one is perfect and to admit one is still learning themselves helps others to do the same, to stay in God's Word daily! You're in this together!

I will help in any way you ask for, and I would be most interested in how you are doing in the coming days and months. The true disciples of Jesus always care. we only want the very best for each other as we all progress towards our goal,and what is that goal?? To make Jesus LORD!!! over EVERONE"S LIFE!! May every blessing always find you brother and find you most well through Christ Jesus!! (Matt 28:19-20!!)

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I’ve been in many small groups, and led small groups in the past, and am in the process of starting a small group right now because there’s a dearth of small groups at my church, particularly for the guys. Sometimes, it feels like the best way to join a small group is to just start one yourself! Why is it so hard to get small groups going? Is it just where I am that it’s like this? What issues do you guys see with small groups that you see need to be changed or improved or done differently so that people are growing?

The last small group I was asked to participate in was at my former evangelical non-denominational mega church. The pastor was pretty sound doctrinally; however, the group leaders were not "vetted," I guess is the latest pop culture word. The group was led by some guy who falsely taught that faith in Christ and His death, burial and resurrection was insufficient to pay for sins. He falsely taught that Jesus was not enough, but that you have to add your 2¢ worth of worthless works to our Savior's atonement to be saved.
The guy thought he was saved by
committing his life to Christ or some other such things. That is the biggest problem with most small groups in my experience. The pastor and other staff are just so tickled to have volunteers that they let anyone volunteer for a leadership position.

Titus 3:4,5

"But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us..."

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Small groups need to serve a purpose. An example might be accountability

 

[mustaphadrink]

Thanks so much! That is very helpful! I think you are really onto something in terms of the freshness and asking what people would enjoy studying. I think you are saying a lot when you say the leader must be a leader -- there is a lot going on there! Thanks so much for the thoughtful and helpful advice!

As I read scripture. all leaders/ministries are there to develop other people's ministries, not their own. See Ephesians 4:11. In One church I attended I was asked to write a manual for home groups. I said the leader is not to use the meeting as a platform for his ministry. He is there to facilitate other people's ministry bearing in mind that a person's ministry often starts in a home group and moves out into the church.

The one I attended, the leader ignored the manual and use the meeting for his ministry. No one else got a look in.

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Discipleship is another good one. If you notice Jesus had a lot of followers but basically 12 disciples which were his small group.

 

[Raggedcloth]

Issues i've seen are 1 person or a couple trying to command the meeting by talking too much. another 1 was a guy leading Bible class who said he was a born again Christian but didn't believe you can know your saved. holy heavens!!! how can someone be a born again Christian & not believe you can know you're saved? i said to him, "what's the point of preaching if you never know you're saved? i pointed him to 1st John chapter 5 verse 13. his wife believes you can get saved anytime. oh yeah, when you're sleeping? she should read 2nd Corinthians 6:2, Hebrews 3:7,8 & Psalms 95:7,8!!!

Small groups are where friends are made. I like them.
Been at ones that grow and ones that get off the path.

To me,
Asking someone to host is a LOT of trouble. They got to clean and get ready for visitors....and it tends to be too intimate for some people. Neutral ground like a coffee shop or bagel/bread shop is usually better. (Panera is always full of these sorts of things)
I prefer donut shops but the ones in my area weren't very conductive to hosting small groups.

IHOP or some other breakfast place can work too....

Then no matter what the study material is....leave room for open discussion. Encourage it by asking questions. Ask for help. The heart of every Christian man is corrupted with white knight syndrome....guys don't mind helping a brother out. (Or damsel in distress)
Yes the leader's opinion matters but so does other people opinion...and some subjects are complicated beyond any one person's ability to know.

And the theme of your small group can be anything from checking out burgers in your town (as to who has the best) to who has better coffee or best donuts. The cheaper the items the better the participation. (Some people are struggling financially) However, church brewed coffee usually tastes like someone washed tires in it before they put it in an air pot. Just saying....it's not good.

Starting on time is another biggie. Sure arriving early to greet people and talk is great....but some people are pressed for time always. And you want people to consider this time relevant as well as team building.

Starting group chats by text messages.... start a group text message by any one of a number of chat methods or apps. Use it sparingly for group activities needing everyone's knowledge. Overuse will get people annoyed. (Some people are phone slaves)

Be careful if you get one started....don't let it turn into gossip hour or degenerate into conspiracy theories or politics or into any one of a number of wackanoodle theologians with books to sell. (All too common) God is the focus....the other stuff is for before and after.

Since the year I was saved, 35 years ago, I'm often very sorry that people have to present their homes as perfect before they can host a small group meeting. I suppose it's because people are afraid of being judged. I find that unfortunate because hosts are rare. Homes in various states of messy are normal, and it's not unheard of in our churches to experience people judging one another and even gossiping about one another. I go out of my way to honor hosts and encourage them to not feel driven to perfection, because I want them to enjoy hosting and not feel burdened by it. I've experienced out-of-control small groups, and that wasn't too much of a challenge: the group in addition to the leader handled that well and with grace. What I really wish were happening is encouragement from the pulpit for participating in small groups, as there are people in the congregation who need it and need the intimacy of it, and need a way to start forging friendships, which to me doesn't happen in the before-Sunday-go-to-meeting and the after Sunday go to meeting parts of the church's ministry on Sundays. I myself strongly feel those needs, as I'm 75, single (Divorced at 60 and not at all used to it), and still fairly new to my present church. I know from experience that I'm not the only one with those desires. My former wife and I hosted meetings, and I've led meetings in church and other homes, but I don't think I can host a meeting now because my house is only 800 sq ft. What can I do to help encourage the people I congregate with to actually actually realize that they want/would value small group fellowship? Should I approach my pastor about it? About pastors, I worry a bit that they're already overburdened with the congregation's wants and needs.

 

[Nehemiah6]

Small groups need to serve a purpose. An example might be accountability

Another example might be expanding the small group, planting new churches, and then carrying on from there. If a small group remains a small group then you have problem.

 

[pottersclay]

I have found that keeping small group informal and looking for a common intrest among all is one of the best fellowships you can have.
Jesus loves to meet our needs right where we are.
I taught a bible study some time back and as it grew ment many of the guys who shared my passion for fishing.
We set thursday aside for all of us to meet with our rods and gear, after work, and we set out to catch our dinner.
We return to my house fire up the grill and as we sat and ate we talked about our role as a husband, friend, employee or employer things that we faced in every day life and what the word of GOD siad on the subjects. We all learned from one another and it made for a close bond. We shared and prayed about many things that challenged us in our daily lives.
Let alone some good recipes and fishing tips..lol.