Please Don't Say "Hi" to Me -- Because I Might Fall Hopelessly, Instantly, Obsessively in Love With You!

Hey Everyone,

With all the advice floating around lately in Singles to brush up our flirting skills and practice saying "Hi" to every person we meet, everywhere we go, in a "You Just Might Be the Next Candidate for My Future Potential Spouse Interview" kind-of-way...

I can't help but wonder, because I'm the type of person who always thinks, "Hmm. This sounds good on paper (or through a screen,) but how does this advice actually play out in real life?"

Even though I always call myself an extreme introvert (I regularly need major bouts of alone time to recharge,) I've also always said that I can masquerade as a somewhat convincing extrovert when needed (but it sucks up huge stores of my energy, even online.)

I can only remember two times when chatting someone up casually led to a date:

1. I was shopping for groceries, and a store employee came up to me and said, "I know you have one of the Transformers on your t-shirt, but which one is it? I've never seen that one before." Well, it happened to be my beloved Sound Wave, but this guy had never heard of him, and so, we got to talking. Eventually, this led to meeting up for pizza a few days later. We had a nice conversation, then made plans to go to a movie the next weekend.

Well, I showed up at the movie theater -- but he never did, even though he had texted me that morning saying he'd be there. Alas, no harm, no foul, no big deal -- and we just never talked again.

2. Another time, I went out to do some yardwork and struck a conversation with the guy next door whose family was there for a week's vacation. We wound up having lunch -- but I was noticing that he was ordering drink after drink, while I sat there with water.

We only talked about 90 minutes and he had ordered at least 3 drinks. I'm not a drinker and I have nothing against responsible social drinking, but this was a bit much -- not to mention the cost. He told me that he was going to another local spot that night where he planned to "hang out and have a few more drinks," and invited me along, but I politely declined.

My last relationship had been with a severe alcoholic and while I'm not meaning to judge anyone, that was enough for me to bow out. Even if the person is a responsible drinker, I'm not comfortable with spending that much money on alcohol.

Now I've personally never had a situation in which a casual "Hi" turned into anything meaningful or lasting, unless it was in a setting where I would have a chance at continuous talks with the person -- at work, church, volunteer groups, school, etc. -- so I've never put much stock into devoting a lot of energy to just casually chatting people up in public when looking for love.

BUT, I realize that we are all built differently and there are certainly vast numbers of much more talented, outgoing people out there than me!

And so, I would like to know about all of you:

* Have you had any times where simply saying "Hi" to a random person in public turned into a date? How did it go?

* Did it turn into anything lasting? Or did something not go as you had hoped?

* Do you put a lot of effort into talking to people at random in public? Why or why not?

* In your experience, what kinds of situations/settings/encounters have led to something meaningful or lasting, whether romantic, or just a good friendship?

I would really like to hear your stories. I'm curious as to how saying "Hi" to lots of strangers in public has turned out for other people.

Maybe it turned out beautifully -- or maybe it left you never wanting to leave home.

Either way, I would love to hear about your experiences!

I'm not looking for romance, so I never find it. Maybe I would find it if I went looking for it.

I'm like Spider Man. I spend most of an interaction hoping to make a quick quip. (Also why I loved watching the Spider Man cartoons. I found them hilarious.)

"Do you know if there are any gyms in this area?"
"No... I know a guy named Jim, but I don't know of any gyms around here."

That's probably not gonna get me a date though.

There was one time where a random "Hi" in a KFC turned into someone always coming to me looking for money. 🤦🤦🤦

I do greet people when buying groceries or etc... I do this just as a courtesy.

This is definite "S" Tier material, lol!!!

Made me burst out laughing.

How many of us have literally seen something like this happen!!??

(Or even experienced it ourselves.)

I generally keep to myself when I’m out and about - as a single person and now as a married person. The most I say is hello to the cashier at the store lol. So I’ve never had the experience of a random person approaching me.

Introvert. So I have only a few times in my life where i ever initiated with a random in public. And I think they were all on my teens. I'm awkward at small talk with strangers, and feel uncomfortable doing so.
It's usually someone else that initiates and most often it's in a store, either standing in line or them commenting on prices in the isles. Usually the ones in line are the most chatty. And it's been more than once where my attempts to chat back were met with the person looking at me funny and they quickly stop talking, after I speak 😂

Pretty sure I'm incapable of initiating a conversation with a stranger. Unless said stranger is a canine, an infant, or both.

And no I'm not interested in dating canines or infants. Those conversations tend to be one sided anyway.

THAT^^^ is a major reason why I find the thought of dating sites so exhausting. I seem to be a magnet for that kind of thing. Or maybe it's something all ladies (and gentlemen? ) deal with?

you all talk of introverts and that is something i classify myself as but look out when i get to know you haha. Talk about the word and it gets seemingly more intense. Also being handicap ive sort of kept myself from dating but now im on the lookout especially at church.

Lately I've been thinking about the major differences I notice between singles who are content in their single life, and those who feel they will never be content unless they find someone. I also wonder how much of this is ingrained into us through both church community and culture. My childhood best friend and I were talking about how we are never given any other alternative but to get married, so no wonder so many singles are desperate to do what everyone seems to convey is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

For a long time, I was part of the crowd that was desperate to find "my" mythical "one." It took a very long time, step by step, day by day, year by year, for God to change that feeling of despair in me -- every now and then I still feel it, just not as severely.

From what I've seen, the vast majority of singles who are actively looking in an anxious way fit into the "easily attaches to anyone who will pay attention to me" crowd, which I find intimidating. And for me, the only way I found to avoid it was to stop actively dating.

Granted, it's not a very useful solution to most, nor is very comforting to those who actively looking (which I completely understand.)

I've often wondered what a dating site would look like for "Singles Who Are Comfortable With Being Single But Are Open to Meeting Someone."

I'm guessing there would only be like 10 members, so that probably wouldn't work.

(However... It only takes two to make a match...)

"Welcome to DontBugMe.com, the dating site for people who might want a date, someday, whatever.

Your last login was 2 months, 5 days and 17 hours ago. Been keeping busy eh?

You have a new message from member FullLife."

REPLY: Nah, but thanks. I got a major D&D campaign meeting at the pub then. Catch ya later.

Your Skillz At Satire never cease to amaze me, Lynx.

That truly made me laugh out loud!!

And seriously.

How do you make that "FullLife" post look like an actual, real post from a real, live, but totally made up member of the forum?!!

Now that's true swag right there!!

You know, that's a great idea, I'd maybe go for that!

Ok maybe not

Type the quote with [] brackets around it, and the /quote with []brackets. (If I type the brackets around it, it will do a quote instead of plain text.)

If you want it to be from FullLife, type quote=FullLife

With - - to mess up the quote, so you can see the quote code:

[-quote=FullLife-]
Howdy y'all.
[-/quote-]


Taking out the dashes:

I bookmarked these instructions/examples, thanks very much!!

LOL

See also: https://christianchat.com/help/bb-codes/

Extremely helpful, Gary -- thank you so much!