Hey Everyone,
With all the advice floating around lately in Singles to brush up our flirting skills and practice saying "Hi" to every person we meet, everywhere we go, in a "You Just Might Be the Next Candidate for My Future Potential Spouse Interview" kind-of-way...
I can't help but wonder, because I'm the type of person who always thinks, "Hmm. This sounds good on paper (or through a screen,) but how does this advice actually play out in real life?"
Even though I always call myself an extreme introvert (I regularly need major bouts of alone time to recharge,) I've also always said that I can masquerade as a somewhat convincing extrovert when needed (but it sucks up huge stores of my energy, even online.)
I can only remember two times when chatting someone up casually led to a date:
1. I was shopping for groceries, and a store employee came up to me and said, "I know you have one of the Transformers on your t-shirt, but which one is it? I've never seen that one before." Well, it happened to be my beloved Sound Wave, but this guy had never heard of him, and so, we got to talking. Eventually, this led to meeting up for pizza a few days later. We had a nice conversation, then made plans to go to a movie the next weekend.
Well, I showed up at the movie theater -- but he never did, even though he had texted me that morning saying he'd be there. Alas, no harm, no foul, no big deal -- and we just never talked again.
2. Another time, I went out to do some yardwork and struck a conversation with the guy next door whose family was there for a week's vacation. We wound up having lunch -- but I was noticing that he was ordering drink after drink, while I sat there with water.
We only talked about 90 minutes and he had ordered at least 3 drinks. I'm not a drinker and I have nothing against responsible social drinking, but this was a bit much -- not to mention the cost. He told me that he was going to another local spot that night where he planned to "hang out and have a few more drinks," and invited me along, but I politely declined.
My last relationship had been with a severe alcoholic and while I'm not meaning to judge anyone, that was enough for me to bow out. Even if the person is a responsible drinker, I'm not comfortable with spending that much money on alcohol.
Now I've personally never had a situation in which a casual "Hi" turned into anything meaningful or lasting, unless it was in a setting where I would have a chance at continuous talks with the person -- at work, church, volunteer groups, school, etc. -- so I've never put much stock into devoting a lot of energy to just casually chatting people up in public when looking for love.
BUT, I realize that we are all built differently and there are certainly vast numbers of much more talented, outgoing people out there than me!
And so, I would like to know about all of you:
* Have you had any times where simply saying "Hi" to a random person in public turned into a date? How did it go?
* Did it turn into anything lasting? Or did something not go as you had hoped?
* Do you put a lot of effort into talking to people at random in public? Why or why not?
* In your experience, what kinds of situations/settings/encounters have led to something meaningful or lasting, whether romantic, or just a good friendship?
I would really like to hear your stories. I'm curious as to how saying "Hi" to lots of strangers in public has turned out for other people.
Maybe it turned out beautifully -- or maybe it left you never wanting to leave home.
Either way, I would love to hear about your experiences!
With all the advice floating around lately in Singles to brush up our flirting skills and practice saying "Hi" to every person we meet, everywhere we go, in a "You Just Might Be the Next Candidate for My Future Potential Spouse Interview" kind-of-way...
I can't help but wonder, because I'm the type of person who always thinks, "Hmm. This sounds good on paper (or through a screen,) but how does this advice actually play out in real life?"
Even though I always call myself an extreme introvert (I regularly need major bouts of alone time to recharge,) I've also always said that I can masquerade as a somewhat convincing extrovert when needed (but it sucks up huge stores of my energy, even online.)
I can only remember two times when chatting someone up casually led to a date:
1. I was shopping for groceries, and a store employee came up to me and said, "I know you have one of the Transformers on your t-shirt, but which one is it? I've never seen that one before." Well, it happened to be my beloved Sound Wave, but this guy had never heard of him, and so, we got to talking. Eventually, this led to meeting up for pizza a few days later. We had a nice conversation, then made plans to go to a movie the next weekend.
Well, I showed up at the movie theater -- but he never did, even though he had texted me that morning saying he'd be there. Alas, no harm, no foul, no big deal -- and we just never talked again.
2. Another time, I went out to do some yardwork and struck a conversation with the guy next door whose family was there for a week's vacation. We wound up having lunch -- but I was noticing that he was ordering drink after drink, while I sat there with water.
We only talked about 90 minutes and he had ordered at least 3 drinks. I'm not a drinker and I have nothing against responsible social drinking, but this was a bit much -- not to mention the cost. He told me that he was going to another local spot that night where he planned to "hang out and have a few more drinks," and invited me along, but I politely declined.
My last relationship had been with a severe alcoholic and while I'm not meaning to judge anyone, that was enough for me to bow out. Even if the person is a responsible drinker, I'm not comfortable with spending that much money on alcohol.
Now I've personally never had a situation in which a casual "Hi" turned into anything meaningful or lasting, unless it was in a setting where I would have a chance at continuous talks with the person -- at work, church, volunteer groups, school, etc. -- so I've never put much stock into devoting a lot of energy to just casually chatting people up in public when looking for love.
BUT, I realize that we are all built differently and there are certainly vast numbers of much more talented, outgoing people out there than me!
And so, I would like to know about all of you:
* Have you had any times where simply saying "Hi" to a random person in public turned into a date? How did it go?
* Did it turn into anything lasting? Or did something not go as you had hoped?
* Do you put a lot of effort into talking to people at random in public? Why or why not?
* In your experience, what kinds of situations/settings/encounters have led to something meaningful or lasting, whether romantic, or just a good friendship?
I would really like to hear your stories. I'm curious as to how saying "Hi" to lots of strangers in public has turned out for other people.
Maybe it turned out beautifully -- or maybe it left you never wanting to leave home.
Either way, I would love to hear about your experiences!
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