Struggling with the old testament

So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.

As Christians, we need to read the whole Bible, and know what's in there.
But it's natural to gravitate to various books, or areas, that speak more to us than others.

And I think everyone falls asleep while reading Numbers.

Just read it, and keep plugging away.
No need to feel weird or guilty... just keep reading.
If you're having a hard time with the OT, try reading some NT each day also.... that will help.

Have you ever tried listening to an audio Bible?

As Christians, we need to read the whole Bible, and know what's in there.
But it's natural to gravitate to various books, or areas, that speak more to us than others.

And I think everyone falls asleep while reading Numbers.

Just read it, and keep plugging away.
No need to feel weird or guilty... just keep reading.
If you're having a hard time with the OT, try reading some NT each day also.... that will help.

Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading.

Thanks for the advice. I might give that a shot once my thoughts start drifting away more frequently while reading the OT. I liked romans quite a bit, so perhaps I can re-read some of that as a sort of mental cooldown and pick-me-up and then go back to the OT.

Hello friend , I’m no one special or anything do take this for what it is

over my life I’ve found the most important factor in learning from Gods word is to ask him to teach you as you seek the understanding you’re after . He will always answer a child wanting to learn his word.

remember also as you are learning he isn’t going to overwhelm you to the point you can’t live up to what you’ve learned. As you’re learning prayerfully remember that he’s teaching you at the right pace strengthening you and changing your mind and heart as you go .

as far as the Old Testament try beginning with the gospel of John and view the ot through that knowledge

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.”
‭‭John‬ ‭1:1, 3, 9-10, 12-14‬ ‭KJV‬‬

what I mean is

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1:1, 3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made by him;…That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us,full of grace and truth.”

the same who came into the world to save us is the one we can’t see in the ot who created all things

You are not alone. Numbers is in fact a book that you would be better off to avoid for now. But there is no reason why you cannot read the OT selectively. Here is what I would suggest to maintain your interest and also make connections to the NT:
1. Genesis
2. Exodus
3. Psalms
4. Proverbs
5. Isaiah
6. Daniel
7. Jonah
8. Ezra
9. Nehemiah
10. Esther

That is already a lot. You can always go back and then read the other books as you feel led. There is no hard and fast rule. Also you would be better off to read one chapter of one book in the OT and then go to one chapter of one book in the NT per day. Then keep going back and forth. That way you will not be overwhelmed with the reading.

As to the other matters, just relax and don't get too anxious. God knows what you need and He will help you.

I've definitely been praying before and during my reading of the bible. I have a terrible memory when it comes to things I read. A terrible memory in general to be honest, but it's especially bad when it comes to reading. I basically just pray for help in understanding (a lot of words and phrases make no sense to me because a lack of intelligence lol), as well as to help me remember the things God wishes for me to know. That's about all I can do since I can't trust my own mind to comprehend most things, let alone remember them. It seems from the responses so far, that I have been approaching things from a mostly correct angle. Maybe I'm just getting a little ahead of myself in assuming That I'm taking to His word too slowly in my remembering as well as understanding.
I have noticed a decent change in myself since I started reading the bible. Small positive changes towards how I assume God is wanting me to live my life. It's just going slower than I expected, so I assumed I was somehow doing something wrong.

I don't think I can try to swap between one chapter of OT and one of NT because I will 100% forget which chapters I already read while trying to continue lol.

So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.

I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.

Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.

All you have to do is keep a log. But this is just a suggestion. You can do whatever you are comfortable with.

I tried that years ago when I wasn't really right with God. Since I rededicated myself, I started with videos of the 4 gospels and then went straight to reading the rest of the new testament and am now on the old testament. I'm not quite sure if my brain can handle listening only, without getting sidetracked in random thoughts. It's very difficult for me to keep focused on one thing at a time lol. I might give that a chance though, just to see if it's a viable option now.

It might help you to read a chapter of the old testament and a chapter from the new testament to keep things interesting. Also maybe buy a notebook specifically for your daily bible reading to write down notes, observations and questions you might have.

After you've finished reading through the entire Bible, you can change up the order in which you read the books, or you can study the Bible by topic. Or even just open the Bible at random to see where your finger lands and see where God takes the Bible study. Sometimes I do that to let God pick the topic for me.

The key thing is to change your routine every so often so that your Bible study stays fresh.


🐛

What I did was listen again and again to certain books as I lay in bed. Yes, of course I would drift off to sleep, but I had some idea of what chapter I last heard, and would start from there the next night, if not just the beginning of the book again, to see if I got farther. Heh, when it was Genesis, I always fell asleep before the flood. Then you sort of get the hang of where something like that is. Flood? Oh yeah. Chapter six! Have you tried reading with another? How about finding a Bible study group? They may mix it up a bit and do some old with some new. And it fills a social void if there is one, also. I was involved in a critical text analysis for about five or six years with people who... gosh, how do I say it? I don't even think many of them were saved. Even the ordained minister identified as an agnostic and lied to get ordained. A bit odd, I know, but I enjoyed the study none-the-less. It started out in a church I was not attending, and I tried a couple of their services, but they were far too progressive for me (United church of Canada). Another thing you could try is listening to different teachers online or on the radio. kari55.com is online and has short programs of various teachers 24/7 except sporadically on Saturdays when they have assorted health related infomercials. I listen in my car and while at work and sometimes at home. They are not reading the Bible but the Bible is always being discussed... mostly. Some are a bit more into story telling but the Bible is the basis. I learn things even from teachers I do not particularly care for and one way or another, the Word is ever before me... It all adds up.

I was thinking of finding a study bible or some kind of online bible study program that focuses on different events when I finish my current readthrough. I would like to be able to recall scripture and certain events in the bible without mixing them up with my previous assumptions of how the events played out As far as writing in a journal, my handwriting is so bad that I can barely read it lol. I was not very fond of school as a child and did my best to make excuses for getting out of work. While learning to write, I broke my left arm and claimed I couldn't write because of the cast even though I was right handed. Now I regret acting like that. I also can barely read cursive for a similar reason lol.