So, I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from posting this. I recently finished reading the new testament. I decided to keep reading the bible daily and started with the old testament, but I find it so difficult to keep my desire for reading. Numbers was especially hard to force myself to read because everything felt to repetitive that I caught myself skipping more and more then backtracking to give it a proper reading. I'm on Joshua now. But my desire for reading has already been diminished. I am going to keep reading, I refuse to go a day without it now. But I'm unsure if I can bring myself to read the old testament again once I finish the whole bible.
I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.
Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
I'm wondering if this is just something everyone goes through when they really start desiring God's word. When everyone feels that pull to read His word daily, does the desire for the old testament grow more and more as time goes on? Or am I just a horrible person that hasn't fully let God take charge of my life yet? Id this also just a pointless worry/thought that will over time fix itself? I definitely realize there are areas in my life that I'm not fully letting God take charge of. I'm so used to trying to make changes and failing, that I fall back into the trap of trying to do things myself without involving God. Then after the fact, I realize my mistake and pray. But unfortunately while expecting and trying to make changes in my mindset or the way I speak, I keep trying to force it without involving God. Tbh, I'm still kind of struggling on making God my entire focus throughout the day. Just starting a conversation causes me to completely lose track of God and I start talking like I used to and my speech is far from clean lol.
Anybody have some advice or just some words to help clarify things? I'm not sure if anything I wrote made sense to anybody, I just feel like I'm going about things wrong but I don't know how to change my approach.
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