Do you think finding a spouse is more difficult now than in the past?

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Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
7,230
2,208
113
#42
Tabin, come on now. Give me more credit than that.
The message is rather generic so she's figuring that you've sent out mass mailings to see who responds. Who wants spam? Geesh.
 

Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
949
43
28
#43
I read a statistic awhile back that basically said younger men are more likely now to be single whether they want to or not, strangely young women didn't have that problem, made no sense to me.
Actually, it can easily make sense.

Women reach for the stars when it comes to men. The best or above average men are sought after. I'm sure you can imagine a number of these men don't mind having more than one girl. So, women go after them. And some of these men, each, have several girls being strung along.

About the OP

Yeah, I think in general it is tougher. I think generally women think men are corrupt and bad or creepy. Neutral conversations or neutral, platonic interactions with women are overly interpreted as approaches or inappropriate. Trying to talk to women alone, sometimes I'm cautious of it or outright avoid it so I'm not labeled a bad guy. This is a thing and it's made dating harder because if I can't be a friend, then we can't be anything
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#44
as an introvert, meeting people was always a struggle for me unless i was in my element lol. but even making eye contact was a struggle for me.

as for meeting a spouse, in my single days, i was either at home, work, or church. i considered joining a dating site, but i had the fear of no one responding to my profile LOL.
 

Noel25

Active member
Dec 17, 2022
141
132
43
#46
Actually, it can easily make sense.

Women reach for the stars when it comes to men. The best or above average men are sought after. I'm sure you can imagine a number of these men don't mind having more than one girl. So, women go after them. And some of these men, each, have several girls being strung along.

About the OP

Yeah, I think in general it is tougher. I think generally women think men are corrupt and bad or creepy. Neutral conversations or neutral, platonic interactions with women are overly interpreted as approaches or inappropriate. Trying to talk to women alone, sometimes I'm cautious of it or outright avoid it so I'm not labeled a bad guy. This is a thing and it's made dating harder because if I can't be a friend, then we can't be anything
Your last sentence made me sad because I see it too! People just need to be friendly with others and get to know them that way. That's how the best relationships start out!
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,226
10,763
113
#47
Tabin, come on now. Give me more credit than that.
I already in my head paired you up with a CC gal, you said you prefer a certain nationality right? I also see some other singles who I could easily pair up but...I'm not saying anything except they're right in front of your noses. Aaaaand I'm speaking of those who have hinted at wanting a spouse, not to those who are quite happy as singles. Done my part here, just sayin😍😂🙏
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,718
9,650
113
#48
as an introvert, meeting people was always a struggle for me unless i was in my element lol. but even making eye contact was a struggle for me.
So how did you meet him then? Not how did you wind up being in his vicinity, but how did you start talking to him?
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#49
So how did you meet him then? Not how did you wind up being in his vicinity, but how did you start talking to him?
Email lol during that time, I was also making more effort to make eye contact with people, so by the time we met in person, I was more comfortable (and yet still shy at the same time. What a world lol).
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#50
The message is rather generic so she's figuring that you've sent out mass mailings to see who responds. Who wants spam? Geesh.
That was not her point. She wanted to know if I used my photo or a picture of Godzilla.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#51
I already in my head paired you up with a CC gal, you said you prefer a certain nationality right? I also see some other singles who I could easily pair up but...I'm not saying anything except they're right in front of your noses. Aaaaand I'm speaking of those who have hinted at wanting a spouse, not to those who are quite happy as singles. Done my part here, just sayin😍😂🙏
nanny nanny poo-poo!
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,097
3,196
113
#52
Online men go after numerous woken, casting a net so to speak. Women go on to wait for men who meet their insanely high standards. Without the right height and financial requirements, and believe it or not, often using the correct phone (iPhone) a man doesn't have a chance.
Obviously this isn't the case for all, but among the younger crowd this is more common.
And, yes, i saw a couple click on first meeting, but when he pulled out his Android phone she changed her mind, because it wasn't an iPhone. 🙄
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,718
9,650
113
#53
Online men go after numerous woken, casting a net so to speak. Women go on to wait for men who meet their insanely high standards. Without the right height and financial requirements, and believe it or not, often using the correct phone (iPhone) a man doesn't have a chance.
Obviously this isn't the case for all, but among the younger crowd this is more common.
And, yes, i saw a couple click on first meeting, but when he pulled out his Android phone she changed her mind, because it wasn't an iPhone. 🙄
Dude dodged a bullet there. He doesn't want someone that superficial.

Flash that phone at every first date, as a litmus test.
 
Jan 15, 2024
101
68
28
#54
Online men go after numerous woken, casting a net so to speak. Women go on to wait for men who meet their insanely high standards. Without the right height and financial requirements, and believe it or not, often using the correct phone (iPhone) a man doesn't have a chance.
Obviously this isn't the case for all, but among the younger crowd this is more common.
And, yes, i saw a couple click on first meeting, but when he pulled out his Android phone she changed her mind, because it wasn't an iPhone. 🙄
I dont get the fascination with iphones, but wow thats what you call shallow.....which seems to be the kind of gals men go for nowadays. As an educated woman who has a great job, my own home, car etc etc no kids I've seen men bypass me because I wasn't slim enough, or fair enough, or pretty enough....according to them. Their sentiments " you're such a nice woman, but it's not enough".
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#57
Online men go after numerous woken, casting a net so to speak. Women go on to wait for men who meet their insanely high standards. Without the right height and financial requirements, and believe it or not, often using the correct phone (iPhone) a man doesn't have a chance.
Obviously this isn't the case for all, but among the younger crowd this is more common.
And, yes, i saw a couple click on first meeting, but when he pulled out his Android phone she changed her mind, because it wasn't an iPhone. 🙄
Yeeeeeeeep!!! Welcome to my world. This is why I gave up on those ridiculous sites.
 

listenyoumustAll

Well-known member
Jul 22, 2021
404
288
63
#58
Its a lot difficult now finding a spouse where I am from .a lot of people are way too carnal nowadays . having a romantic relationships are transactional .
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,097
3,196
113
#59
I dont get the fascination with iphones, but wow thats what you call shallow.....which seems to be the kind of gals men go for nowadays. As an educated woman who has a great job, my own home, car etc etc no kids I've seen men bypass me because I wasn't slim enough, or fair enough, or pretty enough....according to them. Their sentiments " you're such a nice woman, but it's not enough".
Nor do I. I had one once and hated it on day one.
Being rejected on looks is pretty much the norm forever basically. That's part of dating. I never really got a woman's interest by my looks, either.
But that's a different expectation than what is more common today. Women often seek men 6 foot plus, 6 digit salaries, 6 digit engagement rings and, as stated, iPhones. And mind you this is what they look for in men in their 20s.
Also these same women expect these men to shower them in gifts and trips as well as whatever else they expect the man to bring, while they look sit around at home doing nothing.
And when asked what the women bring to the table the answer is 'myself'. Thats the only answer they have.
Add to this the phrase 'whats mine is mine, what yours is mine' that they also believe. So any money she makes belongs to her, any money he makes belongs to her, and in the same sentence will talk about being equals in the marriage.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,718
9,650
113
#60
Nor do I. I had one once and hated it on day one.
Being rejected on looks is pretty much the norm forever basically. That's part of dating. I never really got a woman's interest by my looks, either.
But that's a different expectation than what is more common today. Women often seek men 6 foot plus, 6 digit salaries, 6 digit engagement rings and, as stated, iPhones. And mind you this is what they look for in men in their 20s.
Also these same women expect these men to shower them in gifts and trips as well as whatever else they expect the man to bring, while they look sit around at home doing nothing.
And when asked what the women bring to the table the answer is 'myself'. Thats the only answer they have.
Add to this the phrase 'whats mine is mine, what yours is mine' that they also believe. So any money she makes belongs to her, any money he makes belongs to her, and in the same sentence will talk about being equals in the marriage.
Glad you put that "often" in there.