Needing pointed in the right direction.

My first thought was 'FarmersOnly' website but I don't know if getting dirty & working hard, wearing a dress, is going to go over very big, isn't there a lot of bending over picking/planting food. No social media?, could happen I guess, (hint: post this in the Young Adult Forum to cover more ground).
I like the way you finish your wish list with the stipulation of accepting your fairly dark/inappropriate humor😂 How will that be equally yoked with a staunch virgin hardcore believer 🤠

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace".

I am hoping that this thread is just some sort of sick joke being told by an internet troll, but just in case you are serious, I have a thing or two to say.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap.

So I was drilling wheat (a very boring ordeal), and had the idea to go the old fashioned (1800's) route of posting some sort of "wanted" ad for a wife. I tried a bunch of the "christian" dating apps today, and wow. They're garbage. Any idea of a good place to post this online where it'll be seen? I thought about doing mailers out to a bunch of churches across a 500 mile radius. Of the 114 churches I've been to in my area, there's no way there would be anyone like this in my area. I'm not super tech savvy (hence why I'm still using forums for help.) Also, if anyone has input on the text of the ad.
-----------
While walking across the section from my tractor back to the truck in order to get more seed last week, I realized "frickin frack! I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE! I could do that."

SO, currently taking applications for a small farm wife. I'm not going to lie, the qualifications are pretty strict and are as follows....

Born again, hardcore believer.
No older than 27.
Virgin (sexual abuse excluded).
No college degrees.
Willing to live "poor", but still have plenty.
Ready to get dirty, work hard, and go to bed tired.
Wants kids.
Dies to self, and is completely obedient.
Dresses are a must. Women who wear pants are just dudes to me. It's an internal thing.
Humble.
Did NOT get the jab!
No social media.
Tolerant of my fairly dark, and often times inappropriate humor.

Okay. So you made it this far. Now, a little about me.
I am Kansas born and raised. 33 yrs old. Prior military. #4 out of 10 kids. I make $70k a year working 23 hrs a week 20 minutes from home. I don't take a salary from the farm, and put most of my money back into it. Farm wise, I run cattle, have a few goats for fun, and farm ancient, and heritage wheats. I also work as a hay broker for other farms. Bag out locally made alfalfa pellets, and will be making our own line of semi organic chicken feed this winter. Full organic by next fall.

So, personal. I moved back out to the farm earlier this year, because I got tired of spending $1200/month living in town, and driving back and forth to the farm. So, I live in a camper out by the shop, and absolutely love it (I got a wood stove in it too! SSSHHHIIIIII!!!). I plan on building a container cabin in the pasture, spring of 2025. (If I can stop buying machinery)

I am a sold out born again Christian. I am about as goofy as they come. I don't get angry, and my life saying is "well, that freakin sucks." And I just move on. I am VERY protective of those I call my own. I have a nasty habit of just giving things away that people need. I never do anything for my own personal gain, aside from feeling like I got someone taken care of. I don't value money. It's literally just a tool. I have no desire to horde it up.

I want a completely obedient wife. Not for some power trip, but because again, I do nothing for my own personal gain. If I tell you to run 3 circles around the shed, there's a legit reason for it. And a reason thats going to benefit you and the family. I can't be everything I'm supposed to be for the family if I'm baby sitting a grown adult who's not listening.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace". I live an old school simple life, I don't plan on changing that either.

If you made it this far, congrats! If you, of someone you know is interested in learning more contact me at ********
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Any ideas are appreciated. I know this will probably be controversial for some (it shouldn't be, but its 2023). Don't start stuff over it. Seriously just looking for advice. Thanks guys!

I tried realllll hard to to make my reply as civil as possible, yall said what I wanted to say though.

Found one for ya.

https://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/i-want-a-husband-who’s-a-full-provider-and-protects-me.212588/

While I definitely understand your post (I read the love comes softly books..I know about learning to love) , I also know women, and God himself created us to be emotional creatures, and as emotional creatures..... none of us want to be thought of as a glorified farm hand in a dress that you dont have to pay lol.

So I was drilling wheat (a very boring ordeal), and had the idea to go the old fashioned (1800's) route of posting some sort of "wanted" ad for a wife. I tried a bunch of the "christian" dating apps today, and wow. They're garbage. Any idea of a good place to post this online where it'll be seen? I thought about doing mailers out to a bunch of churches across a 500 mile radius. Of the 114 churches I've been to in my area, there's no way there would be anyone like this in my area. I'm not super tech savvy (hence why I'm still using forums for help.) Also, if anyone has input on the text of the ad.
-----------
While walking across the section from my tractor back to the truck in order to get more seed last week, I realized "frickin frack! I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE! I could do that."

SO, currently taking applications for a small farm wife. I'm not going to lie, the qualifications are pretty strict and are as follows....

Born again, hardcore believer.
No older than 27.
Virgin (sexual abuse excluded).
No college degrees.
Willing to live "poor", but still have plenty.
Ready to get dirty, work hard, and go to bed tired.
Wants kids.
Dies to self, and is completely obedient.
Dresses are a must. Women who wear pants are just dudes to me. It's an internal thing.
Humble.
Did NOT get the jab!
No social media.
Tolerant of my fairly dark, and often times inappropriate humor.

Okay. So you made it this far. Now, a little about me.
I am Kansas born and raised. 33 yrs old. Prior military. #4 out of 10 kids. I make $70k a year working 23 hrs a week 20 minutes from home. I don't take a salary from the farm, and put most of my money back into it. Farm wise, I run cattle, have a few goats for fun, and farm ancient, and heritage wheats. I also work as a hay broker for other farms. Bag out locally made alfalfa pellets, and will be making our own line of semi organic chicken feed this winter. Full organic by next fall.

So, personal. I moved back out to the farm earlier this year, because I got tired of spending $1200/month living in town, and driving back and forth to the farm. So, I live in a camper out by the shop, and absolutely love it (I got a wood stove in it too! SSSHHHIIIIII!!!). I plan on building a container cabin in the pasture, spring of 2025. (If I can stop buying machinery)

I am a sold out born again Christian. I am about as goofy as they come. I don't get angry, and my life saying is "well, that freakin sucks." And I just move on. I am VERY protective of those I call my own. I have a nasty habit of just giving things away that people need. I never do anything for my own personal gain, aside from feeling like I got someone taken care of. I don't value money. It's literally just a tool. I have no desire to horde it up.

I want a completely obedient wife. Not for some power trip, but because again, I do nothing for my own personal gain. If I tell you to run 3 circles around the shed, there's a legit reason for it. And a reason thats going to benefit you and the family. I can't be everything I'm supposed to be for the family if I'm baby sitting a grown adult who's not listening.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace". I live an old school simple life, I don't plan on changing that either.

If you made it this far, congrats! If you, of someone you know is interested in learning more contact me at ********
----------
Any ideas are appreciated. I know this will probably be controversial for some (it shouldn't be, but its 2023). Don't start stuff over it. Seriously just looking for advice. Thanks guys!

What I am about to say is not aimed specifically towards you alone, so please do not misread it that way. Instead, what I am about to say is aimed at all women, and, even then, it will be said in a caring and protective sort of way, and not in any sort of judgmental way.

Women, please do not get your concepts of marital love out of any book other than the Bible. I have never read the "Love Comes Softly" books, but, coincidentally, only about a month or so ago, I did watch a "Love Comes Softly" movie.

Regardless of how marital love is portrayed there, or anywhere else, for that matter, the union between Christ and his church as is described in the Bible must always be our example, or else we are asking for trouble.

Jesus, as the ultimate Bridegroom, actually did something to show his great love for us (men are part of the bride of Christ, so I will include us), and any man ought to do the same for his prospective bride. If you think that a man might suddenly change and somehow show up in a loving manner after the wedding vows have been said, when it has been missing up until that point in time, then...

Seriously, if any woman is looking for a husband, then please prayerfully find one who openly loves you as Christ openly loves the church.

This is my solemn, yet caring, advice...for whatever it is worth.

Just to reiterate to Pipp, my comments here are not meant to sound even the least bit critical towards what you said. Had you not included that you know how God himself created women, then I might have been overly concerned.

Anyhow, in a certain sense, none of any of your personal lives are any of my business.

However, as a Christian, I am greatly concerned about everybody's lives...including my own.

I have said enough here.

May God bless and keep all of you away from self-serving men who treat you like cattle.

This is kind of a funny coincidence, but I'm actually working on a farm right now.

Except that I asked the owners to please not make me do anything that resembles actual farming, since I have problems keeping houseplants alive, even the ones deemed "impossible to kill" (somehow, I find a way.)

The farm belongs to a family I'm friends with (met them here on CC, ironically,) and the part I love is production. They have a business selling products they make from their crops, and so I'm really into assembly, production, and packing orders. I'm actually on a vacation from my regular job to come out and help them for a while, because it's their busiest time of year. They grow everything without pesticides, and use old-fashioned equipment (as in, from the early 1900's) whenever possible.

This farm has an extremely hard-working group of young men and women keeping things running. We all our own ways and work independently during the day, but gather around the supper table for a relaxing chat at the end of the day.

I'm happy to say that for this evening's supper-side chat, I am going to read them your post.

I already know what their reactions are going to be, both from the guys and from the gals, but I'm still enjoying the anticipation.

It's going to be especially interesting because they are professional farmers themselves from childhood, so I'm pretty sure they're going to get a kick out of someone advertising for a woman who jumps at the chance to be a free farmhand who obeys every command without question.