Why Don't We Ever Hear About Wives Who Are Addicted to Porn?

There are many young men who have made it a point of their life to reject porn.
Awe, your own sin nature causing you to reject what is good for you and be attracted to what is not good for you.
Maybe puck one of the good guys that teject porn and be happy with him instead of letting your addiction to "fem porn" run you.
Fem porn is the stupid dime store romance clap trap that is so pervasive in the messaging to women.

Yes "fem porn" is just as destructive as porn movies and pictures aimed at men.

Where did you get the idea that she was addicted to 'fem porn?' Why would you spread such an idea about someone?

Do you folks live in the 1980's? How common is it for women to actually read books these days?

It's still not the same thing. Books describing bad sexual stuff is contrary to 'think on these things'.... noble, good, pure stuff. But it isn't the same thing as looking with lust.

If it's just text, probably not, but a significant portion of viewers of pictures and movies are female.

I'm not sure if you are responding to me specifically or women as a whole, but for myself, I am not addicted to fem porn or porn in general and that's why I hope to find someone else who isn't, either.

I had my few curiosities when I was in college and wondering what all the fuss was about, but almost immediately it to be boring and unrealistic. I hate "romance" or "romantic comedy" shows and movies. I was always the girl wanting to see the latest Stallone, Arnold, or Van Damme action flick instead.

So no, "fem porn" doesn't, in your words, "run me" at all. I'm not perfect, of course. We all get exposed to or curious about questionable things. i subscribe to a few magazines like Good Housekeeping and usually they're pretty safe, but the first thing I do when I get a new issue is casually flip through and rip out any ads or headline articles I know I won't want to see.

My own personal addiction, and I'm very open about it, is sugar and certain types of foods, though I maintain a healthy weight -- just not always through the most healthful ways, but we're all working on something.

As for "not being run by fem porn" and deciding to marry a good guy who rejects porn but is just a friend, there can be a myriad of reasons why marrying someone you see as just a friend might not be a very good idea.

First, let's consider the flip side of this. I know a lot of guys who know very nice, virgin, Christian girls -- but they don't meet the standards of looks the guys want (for instance, being overweight,) and so the plenty of nice girls sit on the sidelines as well.

Next, some the reasons I haven't settled down with a nice guy I just saw as a friend have been:

1. He only saw me as a friend too! Not everyone you see as just a friend is pining over you. It can be a very mutual feeling.

2. Distance, with neither of us being able to move (family needs, careers, etc.)

3. Family issues in all forms -- racist relatives (from either side,) large cultural differences and expectations, spiritual differences (how children should be raised, etc.)

We hear all the time about "nice guys and girls" friend-zoning each other, and sometimes people will say, "Well if you'd all stop being so picky/insisting on societal standards, no one would have to complain about being single.

But sometimes people who see someone as a friend have very good reasons for not marrying that person.

I had a guy friend in school who once said if we didn't find someone later on in life, we could get married because we were best friends at the time.

We grew into very different people, in about every possible way. I'm very thankful we didn't decide to get married just because we were best friends.

And of course, there can be just as many issues with the ones we DO have a romantic interest in... Which is part of why I'm a long-time single.

We all know we'll never find perfection, and we'll never be perfect ourselves. But I'd like to think that time and a lot of heartache has taught me not to rush any decisions, to always prayfully and patiently think them out carefully, and sometimes the best thing to do is to just stay single and keep praying it out.

Thank you for this, Presidente.

I'm thinking Locopony must have either misread my original post or else greatly misunderstood it. Either way, he is wrong in his assumption if he is directing it towards me.



I do think this issue is still prevalent and in fact, getting worse. The landscape is just changing and, unfortunately, expanding. I subscribe to a few women's magazines (Good Housekeeping, for instance,) that have monthly "suggested reads." From the description and discussions around the books, it seems that pornographic descriptions and narratives have been added to every genre of storytelling these days: mysteries, science fiction, personal biographies, historical fiction, etc. You name it, and the authors insert excruciatingly written sex scenes because they sell.

A few things I also mentioned in other posts are that if you walk into a used bookstore, you're going to find huge sections of women's romance and/or novels with such content because they remain hugely popular.

There has also been much debate over whether the visual is worse than text, but I keep asking, if a seeing man watched an adult movie, and if a blind man read an adult book using Braille or listened to a recording of the events, which one would be more aroused? I personally feel they would both be pretty much equally stimulated.

As I recall, when the "50 Shades of Grey" movies came out, many women said what almost all reader say, that they were disappointed in the movie because it wasn't even close to being "as good" as the books.

I believe there's a reason for that. Different people will be affected by different media in different ways.

The fact that almost anyone who has read a book will say that a movie adaptation is never as good as a book speaks volumes to the power of the human imagination.

I don't want to suggest in any way for anyone to seek out these materials in order to try to determine their "effectiveness," but for certain groups of people, I have no doubt they are just as addictive.

This

Thanks for the clarification.

Western women generally speaking, not you personally.
You are gonna have a tough time because fem porn is so subtle and every where. Its so acceptable because its not overt but it is graphic and it is messaged in nearly every movie, tv show, magazine, website, and its painted as a normal natural way to experience relationships

quite simply, because wives don't tell. women get an A+ for secret keeping.

I thought porn is sin because it is designed to induce lust, which is either adultery or fornication in the heart. Reading an explicit book about romance ("fem porn"?) might not be the healthiest pass-time, but I disagree that it is lust or fornication of the heart, as the characters in the book are not real. I don't agree that thinking about sex is lust or adultery, anymore than thinking about food is gluttony, or thinking about war is murder. Certainly we must guard our hearts, but I also believe blind Puritanism against the natural order can have the opposite effect to what is intended.

Its evil because it deviates fromthe design of marriage and the family, subjecting marriage and premarital relationships to sensuality.
We live in a culture where there is a 50% divorce rate and the vast majority are instigated by the woman, because the chemistry or spark or what ever romanticised term they use is not there anymore. Is this mind not cultivated by femporn?

Big little Lies by Liane Moriatiy. Very popular and turned into a tv series staring Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon. About female relationships but also 'secret' violent marital relationships and abuse.

Some people seem to get off and stay in bad sexual relationships because they think its normal. They keep it secret because if they tell anyone they wouldnt be believed, or their husbands could go to jail and be charged as a criminal, and that would mean they would lose their income, house etc.

when CHILDREN start acting out is when parents have gone too far, and they have heard or seen things that are very traumatic for them to witness

Sex and the city, before it got turned into a fashion parade, was a ground breaking tv show that explored manhattanite womens sexual relationships even though in some areas it was woeful the kinds of attitudes people had toward sex (at least those women, who seemed to have no other family in NYC, turned to each other to talk about it) and find their way

The characters were not all sympathetic and plenty made mistakes, but there is always that tension between the act of sex and actually falling in love. It was actually a column and book first before it became a tv show. Yes women STILL read books.

Perfect example of femporn that damages the female mind and emotions destroys the ability to form a pair bond attachments and ruins their marriageability.

There are 3 categories of sins lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Christians need to resist temptation The Bible is our guiding light to truth. We have an enemy who wants us to go against Gods principles in our lives. Put on the whole armor of God in Ephesians 6. Those women who are addicted may feel ashamed, and don't want to admit it or talk about it. I am not because I don't like sleaze I am a modest person, and don't like to see women dress scantilly. I am selective about what I watch and music that I listen to.

I have to say that it was equal parts confusing, enlightening, and amusing when I somehow saw Amazon's list of categorization of romance novels by the types of "romantic heroes" they feature. The list is as follows:

Alpha Males
BBW
Bikers
Cowboys
Criminals & Outlaws
Doctors
Firefighters
Highlanders
Pirates
Royalty & Aristocrats
Spies
Vikings
Wealthy

what, no maths teachers?

What is BBW

Like a BMW?

I would say, if people are still pondering this, that pornography IS visual beause its pornoGRAPHIC (graphic, meaning pictures/visual)

erotic fiction or romance novels rarely have pictures in them except for the covers you have to use your imagination.

Pornography leaves little or nothing to the imagination. Its not a striptease.

Women are much more interested in CLOTHING than nakedness. Hence female fashion magazines while men would rather women be unclothed because...they have no idea what we look like underneath our clothes? Not having a female body themselves they cant just look in the mirror or undress.

As for the romantic ideal of men in novels generally they are fantasy figures who do not exist in real life are so out of reach that women want to read about something they may never have. Most women read these for escape and know they are fluff.