yes, agreed, as long as a couple agrees on the essentials of the Christian faith (the Trinity, deity of Christ, etc.), and can have charity with the things that aren't essentials, they ought to be fine. my husband and i disagree on eschatology. we can discuss it for an hour after dinner, and he's still going to put his arm around me while we watch the ball game later.
now i'm afraid i have to become a bit irate because it seems to me there's entirely too much demeaning and scolding of single people, IN THE SINGLES FORUM for cryin' out loud!
i hope you realize y'all are some of the most patient, kind, and wise folks at the site.
bah! <--- the last of my ire lol
Not at all, NotMyOwn.
I relish the wisdom you bring here and hope to see you more often.
This is just me, but I think a lot of married people either approach singles with the thought that they can "help" by constantly trying to "teach" us what we should or shouldn't do, or else tell us all about the happy Christian fairytale aspects of their marriages. These things have their place and might help some people.
But me, I'm just becoming a weary old hag-gish single gal.
I'm at an age where I think there has to be mutual teaching from each side, not one side always thinking they can teach the other. The best mentors I've had/people I listened to most always said, "We both have things to learn from each other." Those are the people I gravitate towards and spend my energy on. I need to hear about the arguments, challenges, and sometimes heartache within marriages to keep things realistic, not just how they do everything together and how God made them for each other. That might be true, but I need something more rounded.
You know how everyone puts up shiny happy displays of perfection on social media? And everyone knows it's very cherry-picked and one-sided? Eventually, people start to despise glossy presentations and crave something more real and authentic.
That's how I am with the subject of marriage. My parents are in a stage in life in which some of their friends and associates are taking care of long-term sick spouses, getting used to different stages of mobility (wheelchairs,) trying to keep their heads up as they watch someone fade away through hospice care, and have to find a way to carry on when God calls their spouse home.
Very, very few people talk to us singles about those realities. I can think of a few here who have been married before and have talked about the hardships of caring for and/or losing someone, and those are the people I hone in on. Those are the things I want to hear about -- real life, and where it eventually winds up, for all of us, even though most don't want to think about it.
Your story about your different views from your husband was a perfect example, along with explaining how you both handle it.
I wish more marrieds would tell us about these kinds of things, because that's real life.
The overly polished stories are probably helpful for the younger singles, but I'm just a few years away from becoming a crazy cat lady! (And they'd have to be stuffed, because I'm allergic!)
It's a long story but a few years ago, I actually lived in a retirement home near my parents for 6 months. It was a place in which it was considered unusual if there wasn't an ambulance there every single day, and if the ambulance was still and quiet, you knew what had happened. I woke up in the middle of the night a few times to people screaming in the other parts of the facility, and when it stopped, you didn't know if they had stopped on their own, or if they had to be sedated.
I talked to many, many people about the sides of marriage no one seems to talk about -- and for me, that's the part I want to hear about most, because I'm not getting any younger, and if I do marry, I know that might be coming.
Thank you so much for spending some of your valuable time here with us singles! Your wisdom and experience is extremely valuable to someone like me.
And, I really hope to see you around here more often.
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