Is it okay to kiss your boyfriend before merriegd?

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Tararose

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#41
Sep 30, 2020
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#41
TheLearner said:
I had dozens of girlfriends, kissed them and it never led to sex.
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That is a great testimony to self restraint. I am glad you never fell by the wayside or led others into sexual sin. Not sure I would really want a husband that had a history of kissing lots of women - but that is besides the point.

Some people naturally have more self control than others, but in general we have to acknowledge sexual promiscuity is rife in many churches (especially in the youth scene in UK). Not many people can say they do not face sexual temptation when alone and intimate with someone of the other sex, especially if you have the normal raging hormones many teens, and even many adults, have to deal with.

Praise the Lord though, if you have self restraint and it doesn't present an area of temptation for you personally :)
For most however, we are told to flee temptation in the area of lust and sex, and considering the warnings in scripture to avoid putting yourself in any position of sexual temptation or lust, along with the science of what happens at a chemical/hormonal level during prolonged kissing, it is perhaps better for most to abstain until marriage.
 
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TheLearner

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#42
Tararose said:
That is a great testimony to self restraint. I am glad you never fell by the wayside or led others into sexual sin. Not sure I would really want a husband that had a history of kissing lots of women - but that is besides the point.

Some people naturally have more self control than others, but in general we have to acknowledge sexual promiscuity is rife in many churches (especially in the youth scene in UK). Not many people can say they do not face sexual temptation when alone and intimate with someone of the other sex, especially if you have the normal raging hormones many teens, and even many adults, have to deal with.

Praise the Lord though, if you have self restraint and it doesn't present an area of temptation for you personally :)
For most however, we are told to flee temptation in the area of lust and sex, and considering the warnings in scripture to avoid putting yourself in any position of sexual temptation or lust, along with the science of what happens at a chemical/hormonal level during prolonged kissing, it is perhaps better for most to abstain until marriage.
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I agree, The reason it was not a problem for me is, I was raised in a nudist camp and was taught there to control emotions.
 
Underwhosewings

Underwhosewings

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#43
No girlfriend/boyfriend
God gave a wife to Adam.
Adam didn’t choose himself a wife,
God chose for him.

Genesis 2:22-25 KJV
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
[23] And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
[24] Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
[25] And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
 
Underwhosewings

Underwhosewings

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Jan 19, 2023
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#44
Underwhosewings said:
No girlfriend/boyfriend
God gave a wife to Adam.
Adam didn’t choose himself a wife,
God chose for him.

Genesis 2:22-25 KJV
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
[23] And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
[24] Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
[25] And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
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Yes, Adam didn’t own up to his wrong,
But put the total blame on God.
“The woman that you gave.”
As did Eve also.
So now we choose a lifetime partner.
When God actually knows best.

Genesis 3:12 KJV
And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
 
T

Tararose

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#45
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#45
Underwhosewings said:
No girlfriend/boyfriend
God gave a wife to Adam.
Adam didn’t choose himself a wife,
God chose for him.

Genesis 2:22-25 KJV
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
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To be very clear about this, the first verse you quoted here, is what describes the method Adam was provided with a wife. And the act of choice does not come into the equation by any party.

Despite this, testing your understanding with the rest of scripture, to see if that is the way anyone ever, since Adam, ended up with a spouse, I find only examples to the contrary.

TAKE A WIFE FOR YOURSELF THERE, from among the daughters of Laban... Get 28 v 2

THEY MAY MARRY ANYONE THEY PLEASE as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. Numbers 36 v 6

... she is at liberty to be married to WHOM SHE WILL; only in the Lord. 1 Cor 7 v 39.

(SEEK and YOU WILL FIND.... ) "He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing and receives favour from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22.

Scripture overwhelmingly indicates in these few verses and more besides, the expected norm for God's single people wanting a spouse, is to deliberately search for a suitable one, and to make a free will choice to marry whomever we choose - but only from among Gods people -
rather than take the very isolated and extreme example, of the first man - the only human being alive on planet earth at the time, who had no women to choose from, and had no choice but for God to create a wife for him.
 
T

TheLearner

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#46
Jan 14, 2019
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#46
Tararose said:
To be very clear about this, the first verse you quoted here, is what describes the method Adam was provided with a wife. And the act of choice does not come into the equation by any party.

Despite this, testing your understanding with the rest of scripture, to see if that is the way anyone ever, since Adam, ended up with a spouse, I find only examples to the contrary.

TAKE A WIFE FOR YOURSELF THERE, from among the daughters of Laban... Get 28 v 2

THEY MAY MARRY ANYONE THEY PLEASE as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. Numbers 36 v 6

... she is at liberty to be married to WHOM SHE WILL; only in the Lord. 1 Cor 7 v 39.

(SEEK and YOU WILL FIND.... ) "He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing and receives favour from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22.

Scripture overwhelmingly indicates in these few verses and more besides, the expected norm for God's single people wanting a spouse, is to deliberately search for a suitable one, and to make a free will choice to marry whomever we choose - but only from among Gods people -
rather than take the very isolated and extreme example, of the first man - the only human being alive on planet earth at the time, who had no women to choose from, and had no choice but for God to create a wife for him.
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Did you have the blessings of arranged wives?
 
tourist

tourist

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#47
Mar 13, 2014
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#47
It is certainly OK to kiss your boyfriend before marriage along with cuddling and holding hands. It is an important part of the chemistry in the bonding process.
 
Underwhosewings

Underwhosewings

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#48
Jan 19, 2023
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#48
Tararose said:
Scripture overwhelmingly indicates in these few verses and more besides, the expected norm for God's single people wanting a spouse, is to deliberately search for a suitable one, and to make a free will choice to marry whomever we choose - but only from among Gods people -
rather than take the very isolated and extreme example, of the first man - the only human being alive on planet earth at the time, who had no women to choose from, and had no choice but for God to create a wife for him.
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Adam is blaming God.
As if God made a mistake,
As if Adam could have chosen a better wife than who God gave to him.

Adam had no choice!!!???

He actually was given the BEST choice from GOD Himself.

The best way to search, is on our knees.
Like Isaac, God brought his wife (not girlfriend) to him, via a faithful praying servant of Abraham.

Don’t limit God.
He is the same today.

Hebrews 13:8 KJV
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
 
dave_in_KWC

dave_in_KWC

Senior Member
#49
May 21, 2014
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#49
katheren said:
Well to be completly honest with you all i do not have a boyfriend so you dont need to ask me if i have one or not and i was just asking because i was wondering what you guys think about it for me i think that if God is ok with it then there shouid be no trouble about it now i ask of you all to please be kind to me when you respond on this topeic may God bless you all
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No-one can answer the question better than the two of you and those who know you very well seeking God and searching the Scriptures about the matter. Submit yourself to God and great things will occur!

Any intimacy physically is too much for some and it tends to be a VERY slippery slope...

Be careful, the health of your soul depends on it!
 
tourist

tourist

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#52
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#52
It would be interesting to know how many, if any, members of this site actually married someone where there was absolutely no intimacy of any kind beforehand?
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

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#53
Sep 17, 2018
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#53
tourist said:
It would be interesting to know how many, if any, members of this site actually married someone where there was absolutely no intimacy of any kind beforehand?
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I recall as a teen in youth group there was a couple that courted. They never spent any time alone. Every date, every phone call, had a chaperone. This was before texting and wide use of the internet. They did this for about a year then got engaged and eventually married.
Can't say I'm a big fan of that idea. No idea how the marriage went. But I remember our youth pastor bringing these two up as an example and pushing for more youth to put this into practice. I don't think it really took.
Especially with so many there not old enough to drive, let alone worrying about marriage.
But he wasn't a very good youth pastor anyways. He clearly had favorites and mostly ignored anyone else. And it was a large group so it was noticeable.
And I'm just now realizing most of those favorites were girls...
 
tourist

tourist

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#54
Mar 13, 2014
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#54
Subhumanoidal said:
.
And I'm just now realizing most of those favorites were girls...
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That was probably where his interests were. Wonder if he followed his own advice. I am surmising that he didn't. How to see how a relationship between a man and a woman can develop if there is no display of affection in the form of physical intimacy whatsoever beforehand. I guess that I don't get it.
 
tourist

tourist

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#55
Mar 13, 2014
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#55
dave_in_KWC said:
Be careful, the health of your soul depends on it!
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Actually, the health of one's soul depends on Jesus dying on the cross for the sins committed and allowing the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide in the life-long repentance process.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

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#57
Sep 17, 2018
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#57
tourist said:
That was probably where his interests were. Wonder if he followed his own advice. I am surmising that he didn't. How to see how a relationship between a man and a woman can develop if there is no display of affection in the form of physical intimacy whatsoever beforehand. I guess that I don't get it.
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He was married and had children when hired, so can't say.
 
T

Tararose

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#58
Sep 30, 2020
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#58
TheLearner said:
Did you have the blessings of arranged wives?
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As a female, no... I personally didn't have that blessing :D

Arranged marriages certainly exist, but they have nothing to do with God creating a wife for Adam from his rib, a one off circumstance that man had no hand in arranging. That is the point in question that I was commenting on, not the issue of should parents be involved in the process of choosing a spouse, which is an entirely different topic.

All this besides, we can only look to scripture to be our highest authority on the freedoms of choice in marriage, rather than mans imposed (or cultural) restrictions, like everything else. I think the New Testament is pretty conclusive that we don't need to wait for God to do all the work now we actually have other humans to choose from ourselves. :)
 
T

Tararose

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#59
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#59
Underwhosewings said:
Adam is blaming God.
As if God made a mistake,
As if Adam could have chosen a better wife than who God gave to him.

Adam had no choice!!!???

He actually was given the BEST choice from GOD Himself.

The best way to search, is on our knees.
Like Isaac, God brought his wife (not girlfriend) to him, via a faithful praying servant of Abraham.

Don’t limit God.
He is the same today.

Hebrews 13:8 KJV
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
Click to expand...
Choice implies being at liberty to pick from a range of options.
Adam had no choice to make.
God didn't choose from a range of women, He just made the first one and that was that.
It could have been any woman before sin entered the equation.
Eve, once she sinned was only as unworthy as any other sinful woman to be chosen to be a wife.
Just as any believer in Christ is now as worthy to be chosen as the first ever woman created sinless was before she fell.
It is our choice. God can of course lead us to better suited people and expose those who may not be who they say etc, but nothing in the New Testament indicates we wait around like Adam did and do not proactively seek a spouse ourselves from among Gods people.
 
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TheLearner

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#60
dave_in_KWC said:
The more pressing question is: "Did it lead to carnality/lust?"
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No, because of my experience and training in Nudist Camps as a child. Basically, if a child gets aroused too often the family is asked to leave. And, my parents were strick about that. Spanking was with a Razor Strap.
 
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