Trouble with friends

The friends that were real close to you when young may catch up with you when older, yes inevitably life gets in the way, but you just need to be open to new friendships.

I try not to be too clingy and shy away from those who claim I am their ONLY friend. That can be kind of possessive and unhealthy. I dont think its great to be jealous of a boyfriend as that friend chooses to be with him after all, if you dont like him or you think hes not good for her of course you can say, but accept that you really want the best for your friend. Dont be the kind of girl who insists on being married to her best friend!

What do you all do with friends/people who do not keep in touch unless you initiate the conversation? Do you check in with them once in a while, or eventually stop?

Hi Kaylz!

Welcome to CC, and your post is definitely relatable Ms. Mediator had a great answer regarding friendships and expectations.

Hollywood seems to market friendships in the same way as it does couples -- women like in Sex in the City having glamorous luncheons, get-together, vacations, and shopping trips together. I've never had that (not that I'm complaining -- I'm very thankful for the friendships I do have.)

But as with anything else in life, what we see portrayed before us is a lot different than what we find in reality. Even in church presentations, they'll have video clips of big group hugs and people clasping hands while praying together as if they're kindred spiritual best friends -- but like Ms. Mediator said, what usually happens is that after the class, meeting, retreat, etc. is over, everyone scatters, goes their own separate ways, and never speaks again.

I honestly don't have any answers for this and it sounds like something almost every struggles with. I've even heard of BFF apps where people can basically search and swipe left or right in order to try to find a "best friend." I know it's been said over and over again, but it's amazing how much we are connected (talking to people on the other side of the world,) and yet all so desperately lonely.

I wouldn't have any friends either except for 3 I keep in touch with from my hometown, and since I'm not on Facebook, we only talk/text/catch up a couple times a year.

Then there is the group of singles I met here (about 6 of us) who I talk to almost daily via the magic of the interwebs, but other than that, I haven't managed to make any new friends in a long time. Usually, it's all situation-based, such as a new work location, class, participation group, etc. -- but as soon as those things end, so does the connection with the people.

All I know to do is to pray and keep trying.

But in all honesty, my life has become busier and more engulfed in the needs of my family over the years, so maybe God was preparing me for this and that's one of the reasons why.

Please keep us posted on how it's going!

The way I made friends here was by reading regular posts from regular posters, and once in a blue moon, a communication would go from there. Even then, there were lots of "false starts" (exchanges that stopped or faded away,) but I'm thankful that God provided great friendships through a few people.

Best wishes to you!

Uncle Joey, why do Uncle Jesse and his wife go to bed so early?"

"They're... Uh... They're doing their taxes sweetie."

"Will they be doing their taxes EVERY night?"

"Well yeah, for the first six months or so."

Taxes???
you picked taxes as a response???

LOL

I forget birthdays all the time lol

The only person who should always remember your birthday is your mother!

Not everyone an attend funerals either, or knows how to organise them.

Also I think bosses take pleasure in dumping people, who they are never friends with but just pretend friends. Because I only recall one boss who I actually invited over to my place for a party!

I entered the birthdays in the phone calendar. Just an excuse to reconnect and takes zero effort.

Eventually stop and go do something more productive and/or entertaining. If I have to initiate the conversation every time, they probably consider me an annoyance.

I just saw a Judge Judy episode where two women in their 20s ended their friendship over a $200 bill; they had been best friends since kindergarten. Sad.