Just got out of an abusive relationship.

Very true. And often, they can't or won't accept they are doing this because of their own pride, and well-meaning-but-harmful "supporters" who perpetuate the harm by insisting these people not look inward to address the problem there.

Take some time to find yourself and enjoy doing things you couldnt before. Find hobbies and fun things, try something new and keep God close.
Sometimes the break up is the blessing. No seed can grow without being in the dirt first.

I picked up a book about a mother who was in an abusive relationship but couldnt finish it. It was about how she and her family built a house together by watching you tube videos, but it was also about getting away from her 3 abusive exes.

So what happened was all her exes were pyscho nut jobs/ alcoholics/schizophrenics and she didnt learn until it was too late that her ex would sleep with her and at the same time attempt to strangle her in her sleep. Of course her children were in bed fast asleep and they didnt witness their own mother potentially being strangled while she was in bed.

Or whatver else couples do in bed to abuse each other. And when they were blind drunk of course her exes werent aware of who they were hitting or spitting at or verbally abusing or violating. They would have been drunk and forgotten about the next day.

How you can live like that I dont know. She wrote that each night brought fear. This is why exes get restraining orders and the locks changed on them and why their partners flee in the middle of the night when they cant be traced to anonymous refuges.

And I suppose if you DO build your own house, you can say it was yours as you made it. Rather than just something you bought with money.

It was called Rise How a House built a family
She had four children to 2 exes and the 3rd tried to kill her. I dont know why. Nutjob? Demons. Who knows.

I couldnt finish it. I dont like reading about cruelty. However she survived, so kudos to her.

So if looking for something to do having got out of an abusive relationship, how about building your own house...?

I was in an abusive marriage for over 10 years. Didn't start out that way, but after 16 years I was seriously considering suicide as the only way out. My self esteem was gone and no passion for living life. I was warned that if I did not escape the marriage, the abuse may become physical. I left with much pain and heartache but I valued the little part of life I still had.
What helped me was reading God's Word everyday, finding places where I could volunteer, join Meetup groups and find what I was most interested and gave me joy. By concentrating on our faith and our well being (physically, emotionally, spiritually), and by allowing God to direct our path, He will provide at just the right time.

Your doing the right thing walking away, and don't forget your not the only one going through it. You should talk to your pastor about counciling.

I am thinking that type of man is in the minority. He sounds immature

Glad you made the decision to get away from such a situation. Best advice I can give you is to turn to your Church family for support to help you adjust to your new direction. Turn to GOD FIRST! Do not be afraid to reach out to other Christians for fellowship.

MAKE IT REAL!
Do not drag out the breakup............do not go back and forth with him over reasons why or some such.....

PRAY!

I survived an abusive marriage, was beaten black and blue, by a good man that turned into a drunk fiend, drank the housekeeping, any protest would be rewarded with a broken nose, ribs , punches to the face, and was lucky to survive, thanks to the hospital staff and women’s rescue that came through for me. I know mental torture is nasty and horrible as well, however you survive it, I’ve survived, and even now still live and hope.

theres some really good advice there, let Jesus be number one in you life, and find a good spirit fill church. and study the word every day, get to know Jesus, he here's you, and for the future only date a man that knows Jesus.

You offered wise counsel in this matter that I fully agree with.

Hey Ysabel, hope you are doing amazing. Wrapped in the arms of the King of the Universe. With your heart focused on Him alone. I am going to ask what everyone wants to know... So how are you doing?

Hope she is fine

if anyone still reading this be aware there are womens refuges all around but they are anonymous so their exes dont stalk them. Womens refuges appreciate donations of thing like books and basic necessities like toiletries etc. Sometimes women have to flee in the middle of the night with their children and just the clothes on their backs.

It can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship, the abuser often believes that abusing someone is a way to keep them.

how are you? how is everything working out for you?