What Would Happen to the Structure of the Christian Family If Most Men Became House Husbands?

some families do not have sons, its all girls
though usually the girls grow up and marry or at least one does if this the case (famous Jane Austen story, Pride and Prejudice, was about a family of FIVE sisters) because of inheritance laws regarding primogentiture.

IN the Bible, this happened to one family but the sisters petitioned Moses I think to be fair and give/allow them their inheritance, even if they did not marry, as they wanted to be counted as Gods children/part of Israel.

This is what I find interesting regarding topics like this.

It's kind of like, Ok, let's talk about what happens when men are in house husband roles.

And the automatic knee-jerk reaction is that the people only reading the title will say, "You're in for utter chaos if you rebel against God's order of the family!" and I understand that.

One of the reasons for that is because, in my observation at least, the church is so used to talking about such issues in black-and-white terms that everyone parrots back the same uniform answer.

But life is never uniform.

As I said, when I talk about house husbands, I'm NOT thinking of people saying, "I'm going to openly rebel against God, put a woman in charge of the household, and delegate the man to mopping and cleaning the toilets."

Rather, I'm thinking of the millions of households who actually DO have a house husband not necessarily because of open rebellion, but because of distractions (the guy who would rather play video games all night rather than deal with the trouble his kids got into at school that day,) disability (mental or physical, depending,) and addictions.

I personally believe that we actually ALREADY have a society with a huge number of house husbands, just not in the blatant black-and-white way that people are thinking when they read the title of the thread.

In ancient Chinese culture, I learned, used to be matriarchical, but with changes in technology or pehaps foreign invasions (most famous, Mongols of Genghis Khan and Manchus) it changed to patriarchical, and the status of women became quite inferior.

Then with overthrow of Emporer in 1911 it became a republic, then in 1949 a peoples republic.

I think you'll find who ever was in power, whether male or female, if they did not rule well, the nation declined. There were some 'baby' emporeror who came to the throne at like 3 years old, cos they were the only son eldest son of their line and they were ruled by their mums lol

There was at least one Empress.
I think the same thing happened in the Bible, which as we know is very patriarchical, after all Israel had 12 sons and only one daughter.

I see so there much more to the story and you are speaking of a specific case.
So he was divorced from his first wife and remarried to a new wife. And is now unable or unwilling to repent.
I think its best to not weigh in on this too heavily without all the facts.
I dont know why he left his first wife
Or if he is unable to be the leader
Or if he is just unwilling.
This situation sounds awful.

Not sure about the 'millions' playing video games or disabled men, but addiction is big problem for some men who are meant to be husbands.

It probably came from the war, like a PTSD reaction, in the last century so many able bodied men went off to fight in the big world wars they had, leaving the women (and children) to fend for themselves pretty much, though a few were in the home guard.

if they happened to survive, they had PTSD after and many turned to drink and drugs for relief. They couldnt talk about what they had seen during the battle/war after all why would you if all your friends got killed and died. Or you might have killed people yourself. But its ok, it was war.

Who cares? It seems people dont.

I wrestled for a long time as to whether I should try to obtain legal guardianship of the kids.

In the end, I left the relationship and the kids (court-mandated) went to relatives, which is what I knew what would happen, as they had been fighting the father for legal guardianship for some time.

If I hadn't known that the kids would have wound up in a safe place, I would have felt the need to stay for the sake of the kids, and they were his kids, but you know, you come to love them as your own. I would have liked to have maintained a relationship with the kids, but they were young (I stayed about 3 years) and I felt God was telling me to make a clean break.

I haven't lived in that area for a long time, but have friends who do, and from what I hear, it continues to be a very troubled situation.

The fact of the matter is though, this is by far an isolated story, and for a good number of families, things are just extremely difficult.

I rmemeber one workmate (same organisation, different department) I went out with a couple of times, one day invited me to his new flat and he spent nearly the whole time playing his world of warcraft video game.

I was like ugh, I wanted to see YOU not watch you play some silly videogame all day. Although I didnt say that out loud. Maybe he grew out of it ...I hope! I heard he did marry eventually.

Its hard to have a convo with someone whos playing a video game at the same time and doesnt let you play as well.

So you are spouse #1 or 2?

kids now wish for PS5s but I just tend to think they will grow out of it eventually and find more important things to do.

Or they will become computer technicians /programmers themselves. its not always cut and dried about video games, whether they are good or bad.

However I think addiction (drugs or anything else) is a real problem for both men and women. And creates havoc in families.

See, my "go to" is mentally healthy house husbands....because that's all I really know about.

I don't focus on the deviant mindset. It's not because I totally am ignorant about them. .I just don't think about them much. Whatsoever is pure, lovely, good....you know.

Sure, the heathen households outnumber the Christian households.

I know that the number of those claiming Christ vx the number actually following Christ is no where near the same number.

People have a huge cognitive dissonance of their words vs their actions and not making them match up. They have had this disparity for thousands of years....it was a central theme of Jesus ministry.

My words and actions don't match very often by cognitive design and skill. But very much the reverse of the common man's methods. People say the expected answers but do horrible things....I say horrible things but then do the kindest imaginable.

I have had crews chanting the Dennis Leary song about me because they so relished that they completely understood the expectations that I judged them and their work upon. They were so happy to have a reasonable standard. Sure I talked like the most miserable miscreant ever given a leadership role....but it was far from the truth. And they were delighted because they knew they could meet expectations and exceed them when needed...and when they did I wasn't shy about rewards.

And I think that is part of the problem with relationships today. Nobody uses the same definitions for the same words.

When I say "I love you "....to me that means that it's going to last forever. Even when i get to heaven I will still love you....
Who has a similar definition?
Most people think it's until they meet the next person or the object of their love upsets them.

I think on face of it OP is talking about something very different from the thread title.

Because a 'house husband' is a good thing, though maybe some men dont know how to be one? But thats why we have DIY you tube videos.

I appreciate that you both share your experiences AND are willing to listen to the experiences of others, John. I enjoy your posts and the knowledge you share. When I write these threads, I'm looking for people who are both wanting to share what they know, as well as learn from other people.

I understand that our newer friends to the forum, or those who just read the title and answer (especially if there are several answers, it's perfectly understandable to do that,) aren't going to be familiar with my style or objectives.

I've grown up in the church my whole life, as many have, and it most certainly doesn't give me any kind of free pass (if nothing else, God holds us believers even more accountable.)

But what I do have because of that background is a decent familiarity with church language and culture. Now I know, and believe without question, that God does not change, nor do His principles.

But human culture and society changes all the time -- and that's no excuse for evil. But what I saw growing up and see now, is that the church seems unable or unwilling to learn how to apply God's unchanging Word to situations that is always changing. It's like slapping a Band-Aid on a moving car.

And it's not that the answers have changed -- I just think it might be forcing us to look at things from the wider scope of God's Word. Instead of going back to the same 3 passages most people love to quote on a particular subject, maybe we have to dig deeper and find passages all over the Bible that collectively apply, and then prayerfully approach each situation individually.

This has been the main focus of my Christian walk my entire life.

Every thread I write is my way of asking God how do we apply Your steadfast righteousness to the plethora of twists and turns this life brings?

I was neither, just a girlfriend who lived in another town, met him through work, and stayed in the relationship way too long.

I see.
This dude has left a messy trail. Dont be involved with such folks. Its bad for us.

I do feel bad for him, as a lot of bad things happened in his life that many people, including myself, might not have been able to handle any better, but yes.

This was a huge life lesson for me in learning just to stand back and pray for some people from a distance.

Thanks for your posts, by the way, and welcome to the forum!

question was this guy seoul was involved with also a christian or part of church, was he raised in the same church Seoul was in?

Just trying to relate her situation back to church. Cos if he wasnt, then he wasnt really part of the 'christian family' to begin with, so cant really judge it like that. Or did he convert or was born again when he met her?

Seoul mentioned she met him through work so, it wasnt really through church that she knew him

the industrial revolution was noisy and smelly, so suburbs were invented, before that people just worked at home all the time, both men and women

He was a Christian.

When we first started dating, he was in a better state, and we used to take his kids to church together.

Unfortunately, that didn't last long though as the alcohol tightened its grip, so I just started picking them up from where they lived and taking them on my own. I also think it was one of those situations where he tried less and less because he became more and more reliant on me to do everything.

Which is another point about spiritual leadership of the man in a family -- I would argue that if a man no longer leads or takes his family to church, he's either given up his leadership or is in the process of losing it.

Even if he were making a million dollars a year or nothing at all.

You didnt see any red flags there?
Why was he divorced from his wife?