What Would Happen to the Structure of the Christian Family If Most Men Became House Husbands?
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I have no idea what this thread is about anymore sorry
All I know is theres a mega home improvement store up the road from me and it seems to be run by both men and women in equal numbers. So they must all be working on their houses.
Cos of all the stuff thats in it from plants to timber to paint to lighting, electrical, outdoor furnishing, storage, kitchenware, cabinetries, wallcovering, flooring, locks, letterboxes, plumbing, laundry, etc etc.
Actually I was in there today buying duct tape and glue, and I dont even own a home.
All I know is theres a mega home improvement store up the road from me and it seems to be run by both men and women in equal numbers. So they must all be working on their houses.
Cos of all the stuff thats in it from plants to timber to paint to lighting, electrical, outdoor furnishing, storage, kitchenware, cabinetries, wallcovering, flooring, locks, letterboxes, plumbing, laundry, etc etc.
Actually I was in there today buying duct tape and glue, and I dont even own a home.
I was impressed with the grace and humility that you provided in this response. Thanks for being a good example, once again.
I guess it turned out the guy had serious issues, but I learned a lesson from you about putting pride to death and being an example when dealing with such people.
I guess it turned out the guy had serious issues, but I learned a lesson from you about putting pride to death and being an example when dealing with such people.
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Hi Moses!
Thank you so much for this -- I really, really appreciate it.
The thing is, I'm kind of used to things like this happening. I know a lot of the threads I put up are controversial, so they're going to attract some very colorful people. I really should expect it by now, but there's always one that catches me off guard, lol. Believe me, the initial reaction in my head to his post was ANYTHING but graceful or humble.
But you know what? I tried my best to calm down, talk with God about it, and realized that if I tried to cancel out all the flash and noise he put around it, the very root accusation he was making of me was, "You are a sinner." And after talking with God, how could I argue with that? Now, whether he had the right to then cherry-pick what he believes someone else's sins are and then assign them derogatory labels because of it is between him and God.
But when I thought about the core of what he was saying, it just seemed best to accept it and move on. I was playing "Here I Am to Worship" this morning with the lyrics, "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross," and that part gets me every single time. Because at the end of the day, I have to confess that yes, I am a sinner who more than anything, needs her Savior.
People who have been here a while and follow along with the threads know I tend to run into people like this on a regular basis -- with the questions I ask, it's just part of the gig -- and some have asked me why I bother to engage with them. To be honest, I've found that 9 times out of 10, it's like getting the villain of a movie going on a good monologue -- chances are, their only goal is to get attention and be heard, never to listen, so they will employ as many shock tactics or extreme ideas as possible to get people to turn their heads.
Once you get them rolling, they are more than eager to display their own agenda and they won't stop, which will either result in a ban or at the very least, people will now know what that person stands for and can then make their own decisions about whether or not to listen to them.
Unfortunately, I don't always keep my cool and sometimes my friends here will even PM me and say, "Don't go there, it's not worth it," lol. But I do feel that as Christians, it can be tough to determine the balance between turning the other cheek and defending ourselves, because I believe there are times and places for both. A young person once wrote me here and said that she was learning how to stand up for herself by watching my interactions in the threads, and I've never forgotten that.
One last thing Moses, I wanted to thank you for all you add to the forum. You have a wonderful gift for writing, and I want to apologize to you in that sometimes I have misinterpreted your satire as being serious, but I'm trying to work on that! Feel free to correct me when I don't understand or get something wrong.
And thank you for always being a positive presence in the forums.
Thank you so much for this -- I really, really appreciate it.
The thing is, I'm kind of used to things like this happening. I know a lot of the threads I put up are controversial, so they're going to attract some very colorful people. I really should expect it by now, but there's always one that catches me off guard, lol. Believe me, the initial reaction in my head to his post was ANYTHING but graceful or humble.
But you know what? I tried my best to calm down, talk with God about it, and realized that if I tried to cancel out all the flash and noise he put around it, the very root accusation he was making of me was, "You are a sinner." And after talking with God, how could I argue with that? Now, whether he had the right to then cherry-pick what he believes someone else's sins are and then assign them derogatory labels because of it is between him and God.
But when I thought about the core of what he was saying, it just seemed best to accept it and move on. I was playing "Here I Am to Worship" this morning with the lyrics, "I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross," and that part gets me every single time. Because at the end of the day, I have to confess that yes, I am a sinner who more than anything, needs her Savior.
People who have been here a while and follow along with the threads know I tend to run into people like this on a regular basis -- with the questions I ask, it's just part of the gig -- and some have asked me why I bother to engage with them. To be honest, I've found that 9 times out of 10, it's like getting the villain of a movie going on a good monologue -- chances are, their only goal is to get attention and be heard, never to listen, so they will employ as many shock tactics or extreme ideas as possible to get people to turn their heads.
Once you get them rolling, they are more than eager to display their own agenda and they won't stop, which will either result in a ban or at the very least, people will now know what that person stands for and can then make their own decisions about whether or not to listen to them.
Unfortunately, I don't always keep my cool and sometimes my friends here will even PM me and say, "Don't go there, it's not worth it," lol. But I do feel that as Christians, it can be tough to determine the balance between turning the other cheek and defending ourselves, because I believe there are times and places for both. A young person once wrote me here and said that she was learning how to stand up for herself by watching my interactions in the threads, and I've never forgotten that.
One last thing Moses, I wanted to thank you for all you add to the forum. You have a wonderful gift for writing, and I want to apologize to you in that sometimes I have misinterpreted your satire as being serious, but I'm trying to work on that! Feel free to correct me when I don't understand or get something wrong.
And thank you for always being a positive presence in the forums.
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Hi Dirtman,
Welcome to the forum!
I understand what you're saying, for sure, and just to make it clear to new members/readers who might not have read the first post or some of the discussion that followed, no one is advocating for trying to go against God's order for the family.
But one thing that was brought up is that it seems in some cases, men are becoming house husbands, or losing the place of leadership in their family due to the circumstances of life, and things that are beyond their control.
I was thinking of a commercial that I've seen almost daily for the past week in which a war veteran (whether in real life or just an actor portraying one, I'm not sure,) talks about his struggles as a veteran. He states that, "After years on the battlefield, I wasn't there for my family."
How many families can relate to this? They have a father and/or a husband who is THERE, but not REALLY there -- due to depression, PTSD, or a myriad of other causes and traumas, leaving the wife to take up the leadership role, and possibly provision as well.
The focus of this discussion was never meant to push for some kind of rebellion against Godly positions -- but what I was hoping for was some thought into how this is happening even without any kind of social agenda -- and what we as Christians can do about it.
Life is never all black or all white, and it's the gray areas that I'm always interested in discussing.
Welcome to the forum!
I understand what you're saying, for sure, and just to make it clear to new members/readers who might not have read the first post or some of the discussion that followed, no one is advocating for trying to go against God's order for the family.
But one thing that was brought up is that it seems in some cases, men are becoming house husbands, or losing the place of leadership in their family due to the circumstances of life, and things that are beyond their control.
I was thinking of a commercial that I've seen almost daily for the past week in which a war veteran (whether in real life or just an actor portraying one, I'm not sure,) talks about his struggles as a veteran. He states that, "After years on the battlefield, I wasn't there for my family."
How many families can relate to this? They have a father and/or a husband who is THERE, but not REALLY there -- due to depression, PTSD, or a myriad of other causes and traumas, leaving the wife to take up the leadership role, and possibly provision as well.
The focus of this discussion was never meant to push for some kind of rebellion against Godly positions -- but what I was hoping for was some thought into how this is happening even without any kind of social agenda -- and what we as Christians can do about it.
Life is never all black or all white, and it's the gray areas that I'm always interested in discussing.
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Men do not lose their place of leadership just because they are not the economic breadwinner in the household.
A man's life does NOT consist of his possessions.
I know that it's a very difficult concept to overcome and get your head around....
It's like this coffee shop bakery....my partner has the money and I have the knowledge. We are equally owners. I defer to him on certain things and he to me on others.
Marriage is the same way....just because he doesn't make the lions share of the household income doesn't remove him from the leadership role. He is still the head of household.
A man's life does NOT consist of his possessions.
I know that it's a very difficult concept to overcome and get your head around....
It's like this coffee shop bakery....my partner has the money and I have the knowledge. We are equally owners. I defer to him on certain things and he to me on others.
Marriage is the same way....just because he doesn't make the lions share of the household income doesn't remove him from the leadership role. He is still the head of household.
One of the points I'm trying to make, and apparently I'm not being clear enough about it, is that I agree that it's NOT about money or possessions. It's whether or not the man is actively leading.
One of the many reasons I'm single is because my last relationship (many, many years ago) was with a man who had 3 children -- and a problem with alcohol. When I met him, he was working full-time; by the end, he wasn't working at all, but was drinking full-time.
His daycare was calling me to pick up his kids (the youngest 2 that lived with him) because he was unable to do so. He would drop his kids off at my house on my days off (even if I'd told him I had something else I had to attend to that day,) and they would cling to me because he had been so intoxicated that he was unable or forgot to feed them. I had to pay his court fees because he could not. I took the kids to church because I was the only one sober. And in the end, I became a makeshift single parent to his children, making most of the decisions that he himself could not make.
We were not married, but if we had gotten married, he would have had no place of leadership, and I would have had to step up to do everything.
You and I might disagree about this, but to me, he had completely abdicated his leadership, and I have seen many, many other families who are sadly, also in this position. Even if he would have been able to continue to work, he would not have been the leader if I had still had to make all the decisions and do all the work to care for his kids.
And I'm certainly not pinning this on men -- I've known men as well who were forced into single parent roles due to losing their wife to an addiction.
But of course, since we're talking about men being the head of the household, my personal example is of a man who gave up or lost his leadership.
Not due to money, but due to inability.
These are the types of things I have in mind when I'm thinking of "house husbands by default."
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I would argue that if he is no longer mentally able or willing to carry the responsibility of being the head of the household, he is no longer the leader.
And it seems to be happening in a number of households.
Again, I very well realize that it could be reversed and the wife could be the one with the issues, but for this answer is for the sake of the topic of the thread.
And it seems to be happening in a number of households.
Again, I very well realize that it could be reversed and the wife could be the one with the issues, but for this answer is for the sake of the topic of the thread.
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