Frustrated single mom

Just needing prayer. Frustrated with myself and still not happy with this relationship with God thing. I just recently Graduated from a medical assistant program and will be working soon but now I’m realizing with work comes more bills and the thought of having to keep living from paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life makes me feel awful. It seems everyone around me is doing so well but no matter how far I go, it seems I still struggle. Is God punishing me or is this just his plan for my life? I pray all the time and have no answers and I’m just questioning is it even worth it.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but a close examination of New Testament writings will show that God loves the poor and oppressed. I've never had any financial luck in this world either . . . am nowhere near ready for retirement. And so, I'm thankful that I meet the path of those who the Lord Loves.

What's the problem you have with your relationship with God?

I dont remember jesus promissing health wealth or prosperity. But he did promise to be with us through our trials and tribulations.

Remember to whom much is given much is required, God gives each person talent some 1, some 5 and some 10 its up to us to invest it to increase it,

If your following his plan for your life he will provide for you even if its not money he provides your basic needs. Its our desire to follow him to serve him and please him that makes him want to gife us the desires of our hearts provided our hearts are right with him.

I may never find a good paying job to get off social assistance, if thats gods will so be it.. but if anyone has been blessed, or encouraged by what I write or learned something that lifts their spirits and souls and helps them draw closer to Christ, than at the end of the day I have done my job.

But it sounds like you just need patience as you pay off your school bills, manage your money wisely and the bills will decrease. Not just your money but te and other resources as well.

Praying for you, Gemmy. While I was reading your post, this song came to mind. Perhaps it will mean something to you.

God does not punish, He disciplines. Punishment has no corrective value, discipline is vital for Christian growth. I don't know about you, but I had a fairly difficult childhood. My parents argued a lot, often about money. My dad was a gambler. He was away with his work a lot also. Even so, we had food on the table and clothes to wear. I never worried about having my needs met. I trusted my parents - I had no choice! God asks us to trust Him as a child trusts its parents.

I had many financial worries when I was first saved. Mostly it was self inflicted. I've learned a few things since then. God has proved Himself faithful to me for 50 years. I never expected to be so well off. I have some money in the bank and no bills due. That makes me one of the richest people on earth. Billions of people would change places with me.

You need to get your attitude to God sorted out. He's on your side. He gave you His only Son. I wrestled with these issues also. I got mad at God. It's as stupid as it gets. God has given you His best already. If there is a problem, its with us, not God!

Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow. We have enough to deal with each day. Each day can be heaven or hell. Our attitude determines which. Israel could have entered the promised land in a couple of weeks. Unbelief and complaining kept them in the wilderness for 40 years.

Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone has problems, just not the same ones.

No, God is not punishing you. However, God did not promise a life without struggles either. I hate to say it, but depending on the employer (such as doctor offices), a medical assistant job does not have a lot of promotion potential and it is a paycheck to paycheck type of job. If you find that you do not want to live paycheck to paycheck (which can be very stressful), you should continue to apply for better paid jobs, even unrelated to your field (you never know) or continue your education.

Nothing you all have said helped me feel any better but thanks for trying. The idea of suicide is starting to sound better than living and struggling to take care of my daughter for the rest of our lives. I think she would be much better off without me

I"m sorry to hear of this. What I offered to you was evidence that you are potentially a True Child of God as identified by Scripture. The True Children of God are taught to Endure. So if you are Enduring, then those Scriptures are written to you . . . a True Child of God. And so think about this Holy Word: What do the True Children of God Endure? Fields of roses and luscious melons? No, we are told to Endure because of hardship. Below I offer you one of the most important Scriptures you should be aware of. And when you are aware of it, it is vital that you begin to dwell upon it; understand it.

Isaiah 55:8 NIV - 8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD."

To know God's thoughts and ways, we MUST know the Bible. So, I encourage you to begin reading the Bible in a timeline, chronological order so that you can see how Powerful God is as He leads His True Vine through this world (from the days of Adam to where we are today). By coming to know God through His story, you will see His Power and know that He has a plan that involves Endurance.

As for suicide, I've been there. I understand this struggle, at least from my perspective. If others didn't exist, we wouldn't struggle, but because others exist, we base our feelings and emotions from that viewpoint. You've got to change your perspective and sense of self-worth . . . to base them upon what God thinks of you and what YOU think of you. Forget the ideas, thoughts, and opinions of others, and learn to depend upon yourself, your sense of personal value, and quality. You live in a sick world, surrounded by very sick people, so it is critical that you develop your own sense of values and self-worth. If your personal values stem from the minds of sick people around you, you will be doomed just as I was doomed. And so, I do not live for the thoughts and ideas of others. Everyone wanted me to "dance" for them, but incredibly, they all had a different tune for which I was to dance. I became exhausted, trying to be who each person wanted me to be (for them exclusively). I got to the point of wanting to jump off of the Narrows Bridge in Tacoma, Washington, but God intervened and showed me that I needed to become just one person . . . to "dance" for Him and none other.

Now, I am just one person. No longer do I behave differently when I am around a beautiful woman with whom I would like to share my time. Now, I am no longer a certain type of person around senior citizens, my boss, my subordinates, or my family. I am just one person . . . I live for my God, myself, and if I had a child as do you, I would live for them. But . . . I do not sacrifice my own integrity and sense of value. My God and I determine who I am and what my sense of value is. I don't give one rats butt whether or not someone is upset with me . . . even here. If people are angry with me, this does not change how I feel about myself. And believe me, this place is filled with aggressive people who are constantly trying to break me/us down . . . I don't play that game, and neither should you.

I believe in you. You are not alone.

According to a recent report, 64% of Americans are living from paycheck to paycheck, so you're definitely not alone:

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/03/08/as-...t-of-americans-live-paycheck-to-paycheck.html

P.S.

Presently, I'm part of that 64%.

I know my words won't solve all of your problems...or I have answer to whatever is in your mind right now but my sister I know and I believe that
you can get through this... Just hang on my sister....

I am praying for you sis... Hugsss ❤

That was very well said.

"Let us come to understand that many troublesome issues are self-inflicted, and I
can honestly attest to this truth. Let us pray to understand each shall be responsible and
accountable for our own choice of decisions we make. Many circumstances being out of ones
own control, and one must choose wisely in accordance with different surroundings/circumstances.
-Thank God I have learned being in God's care I learned it is up to myself to apply and act upon
God's wisdom, and it works so long as I work at it each day...believe it.
-And I prayerfully submit my thoughts that hopefully are heard, and the reader comes to find
what is seriously needed in their life."
'Amen'
'Praise God'

Suicide is not the answer, and will worsen your problems because your daughter will be left to deal with the trauma and questions. Someone else, likely a relative, will have to take care of yout daughter. You don't know if your daughter may be abused in the new home. Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful but isn't the worst thing in the world. Costs are also high right now due to inflation. What you are going through is experienced by many people. I experienced this for much of my childhood as well since only one of my parents worked, and there were plenty of money worries/arguments. We also lived without health care benefits for a long time. If you want to change this situation you have to be proactive and remain optimisitic.

Boy howdy do I know that feeling....

But you are exactly where God wants you. I know that this tidbit is not exactly what you want to hear...but it's true.

Now because God has placed you precisely where you are at, it is conditioning you for a future task that He has in mind for you to perform.

Meaning that God sees you and knows you.

We worship the God of hope....so have some faith that God knows what He is doing and have faith in the plan He has for you. It's not going to be a bad plan at all.

First comes judgment....then comes blessing. A good measure. Pressed down and shaken and filled to the uttermost possible.

22 years ago, I was so depressed. The doc put me on anti-depressants, which caused me severe anxiety. He then put me on a tranquilizer that caused me drug amnesia. I blacked out for a week. When I came to, I realized that I'd taken a bunch of pills. I had stopped breathing for awhile, which caused me permanent brain damage. I'm no longer able to enjoy life. It's not fair but it's what happened. Please be careful.

Praying now for you and your daughter.

No dear friend, she would not. She would face all that you are facing, but without the most important person in her life, her mother.

There is some very heartfelt, thoughts and advice here.

You need to speak your heart to someone face to face.

Please, find a priest, minister or clergy to talk with about the struggles you are facing.

Again, I and others here are praying for you, and your daughter.

So your daughter will be better off in a system where molestation and violence at the hands of other children, along with the anger, hurt and self blame of her mother killing herself is better for her than living with a mother paycheck to paycheck?
I bet she would disagree.

Suicide is all about the self, not helping others. 100%. Saying we're doing it for others is just a way to appease the guilt of how we know we'll hurt others if we go through with it.

Suicide seems a way out of your problems and leaves behind new problems others didn't have before. There is nothing selfless about killing yourself.

As one that spent most of their life paycheck to paycheck (and even homeless for a while), has had suicidal thoughts and dealt with mental illness I get the struggles you're going through. But I've also had time to reflect on those thoughts and what it Really means, for me, and others, had I gone through with it.
I can't promise things will get better, they may or may not, but I can promise you're not seeing things clearly and what you're considering will only cause more problems for those you love.

You need to seek professional help for your depression before you hurt yourself.

Ive been where you are. I know what its like to want to diebecause life seems so hopeless. It was seeking help that got me through it. It was years after my first suicide attempt.

I was homeless for 2 years with no job or money. Going from one shelter to the next. God says godliness with contentment is great gain.

You have a job that pays the bills, youve been blessed with a daughter. I assume your husband is not in the picture, the father of your daughter.

So lets assume you do kill yourself what happens to your daughter?? Hiw do you think she would feel knowing she has 2 parents who dont want her?
Suppose she goes looking for love from the wrong man and then gets beaten and forced into the sex trade and pimped out for money??
Then starts looking to drugs to kill the pain until one day she overdoses with her friends and then they dump her in an alleyway to die?

Ma'am you have a lot to live for, but you've made one rookey mistake, you gave place for the devil in your home and now he is looking to destroy it.

Talk to your pastor and your doctor, before you do something you regret talk to a professional.

And spend some time with Jesus and pour your burden on him, their is no one else more worthy to go through hell with you than he is, he is the one that will bring you through it.