Severe emotional verbal abuse help

Thank God that you are no longer in that 7-year abusive relationship.

There is no shame in living with your parents. I moved back in with my parents for a few years after the break-up of my 7 year abusive marriage.

I will say a prayer for God to provide the means for you to leave this toxic environment that you are currently in. Shame on those that have abused you. You don't have an attitude problem but rather doing the best that you can. It is your family that is insensitive. They are the ones that need an attitude adjustment.

There is no excuse for those that make fun of a persons appearance. My only counsel is to be proud of the way that God created you. That's what I do.

If people can't take a joke, screw 'em. That's how that I roll anyway. I could care less what people think about me. The only person's opinion that matters regarding myself is my loving and faithful wife.

"Prayer of hope for lost souls."

Hi, Kait24.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, and I can definitely relate because I've been in situations very similar to yours for most of my own life. Rather than share any of my own horror stories with you, I'll seek to encourage you by telling you that regaining/retaining your sanity in the midst of such an abusive situation may be a lot simpler than you presently think it to be.

First of all, you need to know that Jesus Christ, your "merciful and faithful high priest" (Heb. 2:17) or the one through whom you have access to your heavenly Father, knows exactly what you're going through because he went through the same types of things repeatedly during his incarnation.

For example, people falsely accused him of having a devil or of being demonized even though he had the Spirit of God without measure, they called him a deceiver even though he is the very pinnacle of truth, and they basically sought to kill him everywhere that he went even though he's the very author of life itself.

How did he overcome such constant abuse and rejection?

Well, simply put, he looked up.

We read:

I Peter chapter 2

[19] For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
[20] For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
[21] For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
[22] Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
[23] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
[24] Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

In the midst of all of the horrible and abusive things that people were saying about him or attempting to do to him, he looked up and committed himself to him, his heavenly Father, who judges righteously.

And what was his Father's assessment of Jesus in the midst of all of these things?

That Jesus was his beloved Son in whom he was well pleased.

There will always be people (and a lot of them) in this fallen world who will seek to tear you down and break you.

You cannot let their judgments of you become godlike by allowing them to replace what the one who judges righteously thinks about you.

And what does God think about you?

Well, if you've ever sold anything or purchased anything from Amazon, eBay, or some other online retailer, then you know that the value of something is determined by what someone is willing to pay for it.

And what price was God willing to pay for you?

The precious blood of Jesus Christ.

THIS is your true worth, and THIS is what you must keep your heart and mind focused upon.

It may not seem too easy initially, but I can tell you as someone who's had to put this in practice myself repeatedly throughout my own lifetime that it gets easier day by day. Take the first step, and look up. God loves you, and his grace is sufficient for you.

You spoke about moving out, and I would encourage you to do the same as soon as you are able to.

In the interim, allow these fiery trials to push you closer to God, and they'll actually have a purifying effect upon your life.

Gold is purified in fire, and your faith in God can similarly be purified in the midst of fiery trials like the one that you presently find yourself in:

I Peter chapter 1

[3] Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
[4] To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,
[5] Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
[6] Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
[7] That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
[8] Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
[9] Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

Again:

I Peter chapter 4

[12] Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
[13] But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

Unfortunately, sufferings are a very real part of life, but, again, they can have a purifying effect upon us if we keep our focus UPWARD in the midst of the same.

This I know, firsthand.

Whenever you encounter those in this world who seek to break you or to extinguish whatever flickering flame of life or hope which remains in you, know of a certainty that Jesus Christ is NOT numbered among them.

Matthew chapter 12

[18] Behold my servant, whom I have chosen; my beloved, in whom my soul is well pleased: I will put my spirit upon him, and he shall shew judgment to the Gentiles.
[19] He shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets.
[20] A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.

You're in my prayers.

Likely this all stems from your mother's bipolar. It's not uncommon for bipolar people to have abusive behavior.
And if your father was an alcoholic he likely finds it easier to cope with things by siding with her, rather than battling her. And perhaps he's undiagnosed with a mental illness as well.
She runs the house and she sets the tone for how everyone else will behave, hence your siblings following her example towards you.
Quite honestly there's really no way to change or fix any of this. Mental illness is a powerful, drving force that prevents people from being able to see some things clearly or being reasoned with.
And people with abusive tendencies also have a very low chance of change.
So you may distance for "quite some time" but nothing will have changed after that time.

Hopefully you get out soon, but my recommendations if you do, don't wait or expect change from anyone there. Move on with your life without them, at least as much as possible.

Do your best to not hold on to resentment. Your mother's bipolar makes her unable to understand her own behavior. And it doesn't sound as if anyone there is willing to try to show her. It has become normal to them, so whether they see it or not they won't speak up.

Recognize in future relationships you'll be prone towards men with abusive tendencies. So go slower getting into new relationships and keep your eyes open for red flags. And if you see any abusive behavior don't be afraid to act on it, even up to ending things if need be. Don't wait around expecting them to change.

Take the time to not only heal (and take steps to do so) but also to learn how to avoid these things in the future. Chances are you aren't great at detecting early signs of abusive people, so learn how to spot and handle such issues. Counseling, if you're able, could be a good start.
Also the book Boundaries by Christian psychologists Townsend/Cloud should help you identify the areas you're in need of growing, as well as how to handle things better.
Also the book Safe People by Cloud.

It's a tough situation to come out of this kind of past, but it is doable. But it also takes a lot of work.

PS paragraphs make it easier for everyone reading.

^^^This is good advice.
I would emphasize how helpful it would be to seek counseling for yourself. This group is unlikely, probably unwilling, to grow in Christ or change at this point they may be stuck- but you are not.

Seek help for yourself as you navigate out of this toxic environment.

God Bess you.
Praying now.

Father God we lay this prayer request for you and pray please bless Kait24, in this matter. Lord heal Kait24, emotionally. In Jesus gracious name, Amen!

So you are an ACON (acorn) that's woken up.
You need help. You can't "fix" them or get them to see how their behavior is wrong. They can't change. You? You can change yourself. You can change your perception...you can change your acceptance of such things. You don't have to own the labels they throw at you.
And you can be focused on others more than yourself once the emotional beatings and pain stop.

But...first you have to stop being the punching bag. And you have to understand how you have been manipulated over the formative years.

That means therapy.

Do you want to be well?
The cure is painful...and only if you are tired of the disease will it be worth it. And as far as the overbite...go see a dentist.

And as far as the living arrangement?
Of course you have to leave and not look back. Don't get caught up in your mother's traps. You need to find out what normal people are like for a change.

May our Lord direct you in his path. Grant her peace we pray in Jesus name!

Do you have to live with these people? May I ask why it is you're not living on your own?

If you're financially unable to do so, can you land a roommate? Or, do you know any brothers or sisters who'd be willing to take you in while you focused on getting on your feet?

If worse comes to worse, maybe... maybe maybe see if a church in your area would be willing to let you stay in a spare room until you can get on your feet. I know someone who did this at a church I attended years ago.

I am leaving to another state and will be on my own.Thank you for the comment.

Oh that's awesome!! Good for you.

Lord, I pray you guide Kait to the best place -- for her peace and your glory. In Jesus' name.