I gave up on finding a mate.

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

Know that Jesus was rejected also.

I'm sorry you are going through this situation, I have to say it thou: self deprecation is never the answer and marriage is not the porpouse of our lives. We are called to look for the things above. We were created to glorify God and find contenment in his presence only, because he is the only source of joy that never runs out. If you are not happy with God and with yourself now, believe, a marriage will not fill that emptiness your are feeling. You should concentrate on God and on being the best version of yourself, pray God and he will give you what you need. I can see you are hurting, so even if you get the most amazing person in your life is very probable it won't work, because you have to heal your own heart. Is not that people just like flashes, people look for emotional stability, so you need to have that first, so you can provide it to other person. Besides, you don't know what God has saved you when those people run away from you.

I can tell you I got married when I was 29, couple of years before that I saw all my friends getting married and started feeling just like you. Now I am 34, we got divorced 5 month ago, he was the worst husband someone could have and I wish I had never marry him. So, trust God, trust his process, focus on him and focus on being the best version of yourself is all I can say.

Like I said, I was married. It was good and I was content. I am old enough and experienced enough at this point to know that a good marriage is fulfilling and adds much to life. It did mine.

If that doesn't work for you, then I commend your spiritual superiority. I am not there, yet, and progressive sanctification unfortunately takes time. If and when I get to your level, then maybe I'll be more content alone. Until then...

Wow, I've never thought I found that kind of attitude here. First that all, my answer was not for you, was for the person who post the question, I did not even read what you wrote before.

Second, I never presented marriage as something bad, I'm just explaining that the only source of infinite joy is God and that if you start a relationship being broken or emotionally unhealthy as a person, there is a high percent that is not going to end well.

Third trying to put a brother or sister down when he/she is trying to do what the bible says and encouraging others to do it is not the most Christian or kind thing to do. If something I wrote triggered you. I'm sorry, I don't know your life, nor your situation and what I wrote is for the user Seeking-Christ not for you.

Wow, I've never thought I found that kind of attitude here. First that all, my answer was not for you, was for the person who post the question, I did not even read what you wrote before.

Second, I never presented marriage as something bad, I'm just explaining that the only source of infinite joy is God and that if you start a relationship being broken or emotionally unhealthy as a person, there is a high percent that is not going to end well.

Third trying to put a brother or sister down when he/she is trying to do what the bible says and encouraging others to do it is not the most Christian or kind thing to do. If something I wrote triggered you. I'm sorry, I don't know your life, nor your situation and what I wrote is for the user Seeking-Christ not for you.

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

That's just Gojira. You'll get used to him. He sometimes jumps the gun a bit but he's basically okay.

There was no quote in your post. You'd do well to do that next time.

This is a sensitive subject for me, and frankly I felt judged by your post. I simply cannot be where you claim you are. I pray for it every day, but there are zones of spiritual maturity I simply have not entered, and until I do...

Putting you down? How so? Because I got sarcastic? I felt put down, and patronized, as if I were some young, idealistic person who'd never been married before. I know what works and I know what I want. If those desires are in conflict with God's will, then I pray He removes them.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

I wish I could be like Christ, YOUR will be done... and mean it to the bottom of my heart. I am not there. Don't know if I ever will be in this body. So, unless that changes, certain desires I have for this life are going to be aches until fulfilled.

Putting you down? How so? Because I got sarcastic?

Dude. Chill.

Her post wasn't even directly after yours. It was three posts down. You have no leg to stand on with your claim that it could be seen as directed at you.