Why Are Women Expected to be the Gatekeepers of Virginity?

I’m in love with my ex?

Nah. I praise the Lord we broke up.

I don’t complain about him. I’ve talked about what I’ve learned from the relationship… mainly what I’ve learned about myself and how the Lord showed me the areas I needed to grow.

Nobody gets anything out of your out of context quote from timothy. Why do you need to erase the context? Because the meaning gets clearer if you put it into context? State what you want to say about the verse or the entire book, use your own words. As I have said, I do not reply to pasted nonsense from Chris Cuomo or other opinionators, and not replying to timothy from the bible either. I reply to your opinions on the scripture or society. What does it mean to treat older women as mothers? When they are not my mother. That would be a weird way to treat women you know.And younger women as sisters, also weird. Why would I exhort people? Not my place to do, and do not know in what realation you mean.

I have an ex who left me at 19 and she is still in love with me i find her at places i go and have for a long time. She intentionally puts herself in places she knows i will b. To me shes just a girl who left me and was as mean as possible when she did. No such longing.

Then again you assume that an ex showing up at places you go is her secretly stalking you because she's still in love with you.

Hi Sculpt!

Thank you for your in-depth and insightful inquiries.

Maybe I'm not clarifying my position when I answered your post.

One thing I was trying to say when answering your post is, what if many women, especially these days in a sex-saturated culture, have just as high, or higher sex drives than the men? Because I honestly believe that this what we are moving towards.

I am certainly not trying to evade your example, but maybe it will help if I try to list my own stances (I'm only speaking for myself, and I certainly could be wrong.)

1. Women have always socially and culturally been seen as the ones who are to stop or prevent sexual activity, especially in the God-given community.

Is this fair? Is this Godly? Is this how God sees it?

Does God see women as being the 90-year-old with weak sex drives (per your example)? And does God see men as being the 20-year-olds with drives that are strong as an ox? Does He then see women, because they are assumed to have a weaker drive, then have to act as the 20-year-old (again, via your example) by rescuing the men with as little strength as a 90-year-old man when it comes to resisting sexual temptation?

I see this as being very similar to the college story I gave.

Just because I didn't drink, did that make me responsible for the girl who did, and wanted to go home with a stranger?

No. But common sense, Christian values, and possibly legal repercussions (such as if she were raped and then told everyone I did nothing to stop her from leaving with him) still put the burden on my shoulders -- even though it clearly wasn't right.

2. I see the situation between men and women a lot like this. It's not right, but society and the church have doled out an uneven responsibility and placed it on the women's shoulders.

Why do I believe this? Because in the times I've read through the Bible (though I'm certainly no Bible scholar,) whenever God makes someone incredibly strong in one area, He doesn't decrease, but rather INCREASES the responsibility right along with it. Many people want to be gifted in many areas, but I would guess the thing that holds most people back is that they couldn't handle the responsibility that comes along with it. (I believe this for myself as well.)

Even when Paul pleaded with God to take away the thorn in His flesh, God told him that His power is made perfect through weakness -- but He didn't allow Paul any excuses or lesser responsibilities because of it.

I might be alone and even wrong in this, but I believe that when it comes to sexuality, God puts just as must responsibility on the man as the woman, if not more, because after all, a man will become the head of the household.

I don't know of any cases in which God said, "Oh, I know your burden seems terribly overbearing -- therefore I'm going to hold you less accountable for that." If anyone knows of a case where God says this, please point it out because I missed it and need to restudy that principle.

Now at the same time, this is also why God sent Jesus to save us -- because He can't lower His standards just because we are weak, so He gave us Jesus to meet the standards for us, though of course we must always be diligent to do our best at following His commands, as well as have compassion on others who vary in strength from us.

3. The other argument I disagree with, and I know this is controversial, is that it is a fact that men have exponentially higher sex drives than women. I think women's sex drives may have been nearly as strong as man's but have been held under lock and key under social repression throughout history. But that is changing.

Your premise starts out with the automatic assumption that most people make -- that a woman's sex drive is lagging miles behind a man's -- and I'm saying, no one knows that except God. I understand that there have been "scientific studies" but from the beginning of time, women's sexuality has always been held back and controlled.

What would women's sex drives have been like if they had been permissible as a man's from the very beginning? No one can answer that except God.

And as some of those social stigmas are being broken away, I would bet that some -- if not a good number -- of women's sex drives could match a man's (hinted at by more and more women becoming addicted to porn, and how many were addicted to romance novels before that?), and the allegedly disparity is either changing, or might not even have been there to begin with if social expectations had been equal to begin with.

The reality is (as I see it,) only God Himself knows each individual's sex drive, for both the men and women, and only He can hold true judgment over who was responsible and if one is more guilty than the other if something happens.

If Sister Sally and Brother Bill have some time alone together and "go too far," what is God going to tell them? "Sister Sally, you are the woman, you should have stopped him -- how could you be such a bad girl and fail so miserably? Now now Brother Bill, I know how tough it is for you have to this incredibly raging sex drive, and I know Sister Sally didn't do her job to keep you out of temptation, so I'm going to give you a free pass (or at least, a lesser judgment.)"

Personally, I don't think this is what God would tell them.

It's just my guess, but I don't believe God ever intended for society to see women as being more responsible for sexual misconduct.

And if I'm wrong, I'm looking forward to the day when He tells me how things were really supposed to be.

It's not a pleasant thing to be told you're wrong by someone who can't possibly know someone's personal experiences.

You're wrong about that!

This is only words on a screen. Why would I care if you think I'm wrong about something?

Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions (Proverbs 18:2).

Ah, but do you complain about your ex all the time? According to Treeboy that's the indicator, and according to him the "vast majority" of women complain about their exes all the time.

Don't ask me why complaining about your ex is the indicator. It seems to be an almost Freudian thing, where if you say one thing it indicates you feel something that, on the surface, doesn't seem at all connected to what you said.

I have recently been complaining about the tag on my shirt. I wonder if that means I am in love with my car... (It would make about as much sense.)

Ah, but do you complain about your ex all the time? According to Treeboy that's the indicator, and according to him the "vast majority" of women complain about their exes all the time.

Don't ask me why complaining about your ex is the indicator. It seems to be an almost Freudian thing, where if you say one thing it indicates you feel something that, on the surface, doesn't seem at all connected to what you said.

I have recently been complaining about the tag on my shirt. I wonder if that means I am in love with my car... (It would make about as much sense.)

I didnt have to look far to find her complaining about her ex. Thank god hes gone is a complaint

I know she complains about her ex because you tagged her post. Where she stated the affect i thank god hes gone. That is a complaint.

Women typically fall in love with one of the first few men they sleep with. Mr 105 is just a number. You cannot manufacture emotions well he checks all the boxes is not love.

Getting back to the topic at hand, I guess one of the things I look forward to in heaven is asking God to set me straight regarding everything I question about church culture.

"God, they punished the unwed mothers, but never said a word about the fathers -- what would you have done?"

"God, they talked about the single and divorced mothers... How would you have wanted to see them treated?"

"God, everyone talks about the difference between men's and women's sex drives and how men are so visual... But what did you create a man's sex drive to be, and in what ways did you expect both men and women to control it? Did you really intend for women to be the moral backup for both people within a couple?"

This is just my own personal view, but I don't believe I will know God's true answers to these questions within this lifetime.

I'm looking forward to the day that I do (along with the other 8 zillion + questions I have.)

Then again, some people say that once we get to heaven, the things we worried or wondered about here won't even matter.

Thank you for all the honest, heartfelt answers, and I hope people will continue to share.

Cannot understand somebody who have no voice of their own.

From the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34).

Women typically fall in love with one of the first few men they sleep with. Mr 105 is just a number. You cannot manufacture emotions well he checks all the boxes is not love.

Women typically fall in love with one of the first few men they sleep with. Mr 105 is just a number. You cannot manufacture emotions well he checks all the boxes is not love.