Hi Sculpt!
Thank you for your in-depth and insightful inquiries.
Maybe I'm not clarifying my position when I answered your post.
One thing I was trying to say when answering your post is, what if many women, especially these days in a sex-saturated culture, have just as high, or higher sex drives than the men? Because I honestly believe that this what we are moving towards.
I am certainly not trying to evade your example, but maybe it will help if I try to list my own stances (I'm only speaking for myself, and I certainly could be wrong.)
1. Women have always socially and culturally been seen as the ones who are to stop or prevent sexual activity, especially in the God-given community.
Is this fair? Is this Godly? Is this how God sees it?
Does God see women as being the 90-year-old with weak sex drives (per your example)? And does God see men as being the 20-year-olds with drives that are strong as an ox? Does He then see women, because they are assumed to have a weaker drive, then have to act as the 20-year-old (again, via your example) by rescuing the men with as little strength as a 90-year-old man when it comes to resisting sexual temptation?
I see this as being very similar to the college story I gave.
Just because I didn't drink, did that make me responsible for the girl who did, and wanted to go home with a stranger?
No. But common sense, Christian values, and possibly legal repercussions (such as if she were raped and then told everyone I did nothing to stop her from leaving with him) still put the burden on my shoulders -- even though it clearly wasn't right.
2. I see the situation between men and women a lot like this. It's not right, but society and the church have doled out an uneven responsibility and placed it on the women's shoulders.
Why do I believe this? Because in the times I've read through the Bible (though I'm certainly no Bible scholar,) whenever God makes someone incredibly strong in one area, He doesn't decrease, but rather INCREASES the responsibility right along with it. Many people want to be gifted in many areas, but I would guess the thing that holds most people back is that they couldn't handle the responsibility that comes along with it. (I believe this for myself as well.)
Even when Paul pleaded with God to take away the thorn in His flesh, God told him that His power is made perfect through weakness -- but He didn't allow Paul any excuses or lesser responsibilities because of it.
I might be alone and even wrong in this, but I believe that when it comes to sexuality, God puts just as must responsibility on the man as the woman, if not more, because after all, a man will become the head of the household.
I don't know of any cases in which God said, "Oh, I know your burden seems terribly overbearing -- therefore I'm going to hold you less accountable for that." If anyone knows of a case where God says this, please point it out because I missed it and need to restudy that principle.
Now at the same time, this is also why God sent Jesus to save us -- because He can't lower His standards just because we are weak, so He gave us Jesus to meet the standards for us, though of course we must always be diligent to do our best at following His commands, as well as have compassion on others who vary in strength from us.
3. The other argument I disagree with, and I know this is controversial, is that it is a fact that men have exponentially higher sex drives than women. I think women's sex drives may have been nearly as strong as man's but have been held under lock and key under social repression throughout history. But that is changing.
Your premise starts out with the automatic assumption that most people make -- that a woman's sex drive is lagging miles behind a man's -- and I'm saying, no one knows that except God. I understand that there have been "scientific studies" but from the beginning of time, women's sexuality has always been held back and controlled.
What would women's sex drives have been like if they had been permissible as a man's from the very beginning? No one can answer that except God.
And as some of those social stigmas are being broken away, I would bet that some -- if not a good number -- of women's sex drives could match a man's (hinted at by more and more women becoming addicted to porn, and how many were addicted to romance novels before that?), and the allegedly disparity is either changing, or might not even have been there to begin with if social expectations had been equal to begin with.
The reality is (as I see it,) only God Himself knows each individual's sex drive, for both the men and women, and only He can hold true judgment over who was responsible and if one is more guilty than the other if something happens.
If Sister Sally and Brother Bill have some time alone together and "go too far," what is God going to tell them? "Sister Sally, you are the woman, you should have stopped him -- how could you be such a bad girl and fail so miserably? Now now Brother Bill, I know how tough it is for you have to this incredibly raging sex drive, and I know Sister Sally didn't do her job to keep you out of temptation, so I'm going to give you a free pass (or at least, a lesser judgment.)"
Personally, I don't think this is what God would tell them.
It's just my guess, but I don't believe God ever intended for society to see women as being more responsible for sexual misconduct.
And if I'm wrong, I'm looking forward to the day when He tells me how things were really supposed to be.
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