What's Our Christian Responsibility to Christian Ex-Girlfriends/Boyfriends?

Thanks, IndianGirl. Did you read the first post? How would you apply what you said to the situation presented in the first post?

When you said.....
She professes to be a christian, but never wanted to talk about her personal conversion; most often she only references wacky fringe videos on end-times issues, giants, Biden sign-of-the-beast, lowbrow conspiracy junk; she's a narcissist: continues to do horribly insensitive things that you'd think she knows hurts me deeply.

LOL interesting! You're a tricky one, Magenta! I think they call this eisegesis use of scripture.

I like you Matthew. You like to come at things from an angle. You often don't answer questions directly. Curious if you mean imbalance is she treats me different than I treat her. Or if you mean she has a "mental imbalance"; which doesn't mean the same thing.

How so?

What about it do you disagree with?

It certainly seems applicable to me.

The verse, as a stand alone, is applicable, which would be eisegesis, or otherwise out of context. Which is cool, and I dig it the wider use of it's wisdom, or use as a proverb.

However, what that verse means in context (exegesis) probably takes a scholar, but the two commentaries on this verse from biblehub says the 'two' in the verse is likely God and Israel; and in context means man needs to be in harmony with God's way if man is to walk with God, and since Israel isn't in harmony with God's way Israel is facing God's judgment. And so, in context, it's not suggesting all readers of this verse should not hang with people if they're not agreeing on the same course (where to go).

The full text where this is taken from is:
"1Hear this word that the LORD has spoken against you, O children of Israel, against the whole family that I brought up out of the land of Egypt:
2“Only you have I knowna
from all the families of the earth;
therefore I will punish you
for all your iniquities.”
3Can two walk together
without agreeing where to go?b
4Does a lion roar in the forest
when he has no prey?
Does a young lion growl in his den
if he has caught nothing?
5Does a bird land in a snare
where no bait has been set?
Does a trap spring from the ground
when it has nothing to catch?
6If a ram’s horn sounds in a city,
do the people not tremble?
If calamity comes to a city,
has not the LORD caused it?
7Surely the Lord GOD does nothing
without revealing His plan
to His servants the prophets."


Commentaries on this verse:

Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers
(3) Two.--Who are the two here represented? Some commentators say, two prophets; Rosenmller, "God and the prophet." But Grotius, Lowth, Henderson, and Pusey refer it, with more reason, to God and Israel, the expression denoting, not merely God's knowledge of a man, but man's response to God. His practical obedience, his communion of heart and will, are described as "walking with" or "before God." (Genesis 5:22; Genesis 6:9; Genesis 17:1; Psalm 56:13; Psalm 116:9.) Will, then, God walk with man, guiding, shielding, strengthening him, if man is not in harmony with Him? This is the first of a series of parabolic apothegms, all of which require a negative answer. (Leviticus 26:23-24.) Each states an event, closely and indissolubly related to another in the bond of cause and effect. All these symbolic utterances point on to the climax in Amos 3:7-8. . . .

Pulpit Commentary
Verses 3-8. - Before announcing more particularly the coming judgment, Amos, by a series of little parables or comparisons, establishes his right to prophesy, and intimates the necessity laid upon him to deliver his message. He illustrates the truths that all effects have causes, and that from the cause you can infer the effect. Verse 3. - Can two walk together except they be agreed? or, except they have agreed? The "two" are God's judgment and the prophet's word. These do, not coincide by mere chance, no more than two persons pursue in company the same end without previous agreement. The prophet announces God's judgment because God has commissioned him; the prophet is of one mind with God, therefore the Lord is with him, and confirms his words. The application of the parables is seen in vers. 7, 8. The Septuagint, reading differently, has, "except they know one another."

Hope that you are not offended by any comments i msde. Im questioning the mental health

I think there's no such thing as a "girlfriend"... certainly not in scripture. You're either married, or not married. Dating someone doesn't give you any restrictions or privileges. Committed, or not committed. There's no in between.

Ive heard other faiths say that. If u feel like a friendship is not enough, marry. Don't fo the inbetween.
But that is often the first step to disaster

Well, I deny the existence of any in-between; and in this particular case there's no marriage, which means no responsibility to maintain a relationship with this woman outside of a church setting, and even in a church setting if the situation has already been mediated by the church.

I would say pray for them. Deal with any unforgiveness that you may have (if that is the case) and leave it at that.

um ok sounds like you just excommunicated someone

so why the guilt. I dont know, maybe just dont use your love of Christ as a means to an end I would say.

I remember once I had this weekly bible/prayer group an a lunch hour. The purpose of it was to get close to God, share testimony etc.
Got all sorts of people coming and we read scriptures and shared etc. Wel, there was one guy who came along and he asked not just me but everyone out ....and when I went on this coffee date he then started this spiel on how he was an evangelist and he needed all this money to fund his mission...

I said. I cant PAY you. But I can PRAY for you.

I think he was expecting everyone to get out their (non existent) credit cards and pay him to do what we ALREADY did.

My advice, stay away from an ex that treats you as you described. They're an ex for a reason.

Your responsibility is to keep yourself in a place of love and respect when with others. Those who do not demonstrate that aren't worth your time. Because someone who respects you doesn't work to hurt you.

Pray for them. But don't let them rob you of your joy and peace of mind.

Your life is better with good loving people in it.
Sometimes people who behave as you describe don't know any different. That's not your fault or responsibility.

People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. If you continually suffer abuse, they'll continue to dish it. It isn't you. It's them. They're like that everywhere they go.

Love and respect yourself first. Then you'll know when others feel the same for you. And you'll never again settle for less.

Stay Blessed.

I'm sorry Lanolin, can we back track a little? This part:

Again, You have me very curious. What part (of what I wrote) doesn't make sense to you?

oh ok

I wrote that you could introduce her to your other christian friends, since you wrote she was new and didnt know anybody. But then you were like you didnt even want to TALK to her.

so it sounds like you just excommunicated her....something is a bit off. I dont know why you would be feeling guilty, but if she doesnt have any other friends then maybe you could suggest that she join a small group or something, if shes a new christian

You have a responsibility to protect your heart and theirs. That often involves forgiveness and distance.

OK, I think I know what you're questioning. Think of a huge wounded grizzly bear caught in a trap and desperate to protect it's nearby cubs. You want to let it out of the trap... it's the right thing to do... but it's gonna maw you. I don't want to go into the details, but she's a walking bad ending. Every interaction ends in pain for me. She's a narcissist, insensitive and probably gets-off subconsciously or secretly by hurting me. Many times I told her to go to church, join a bible study, establish interactions with any of her christian friends, or make new ones, pray, read the bible, and then definitely get professional christian counseling for specific things. As far as I know, she doesn't do any that. Do my actions and attitude make more sense now?

When you say, 'leave it at that', how would one handle unwanted texts?

block them

ok thats harsh
well dont feel guilty then just shake the dust off your feet
and stop thinking of her as YOUR christian ex girlfrield. She was not. Just someone who is lost and you dated once. Give her to God He can handle it. Its not up to you.