What is our Christian responsibility to ex-girlfriend/boyfriends who are, or say they are, Christians?
-- as far as being their Christian friend and advisor -- or allowing them to have any contact with you -- when they are not good friends, are narcissists and very often just hurt you carelessly, subconsciously, or purposely? That is to say, are we allowed to tell them we don't ever want to talk to them ever again... outside of heaven?
I would think there's general scriptural commands and guidelines that cover this issue. And then there's what to do in specific cases. I'm curious in what you all think about both.
This is how I would assess my specific situation: I dated a woman who appears to be a new christian. Is she really a christian? Really difficult to say because her "fruits" are a mixed bag. She professes to be a christian, but never wanted to talk about her personal conversion; most often she only references wacky fringe videos on end-times issues, giants, Biden sign-of-the-beast, lowbrow conspiracy junk; she's a narcissist: continues to do horribly insensitive things that you'd think she knows hurts me deeply.
Many months ago we went out, got along great, she talked about being soulmates, wanting to use the Love word and speed up to marriage, though she acknowledged (as I made clear) we needed months to get to know each other. After about a couple months she said she didn't want a relationship, but wanted to keep dating/seeing me 5+ days a week, what she calls "just for company". I wanted to think she wasn't really decided about no-relationship, so I continued. With my eyes opening to who she was, and incompatibility, eventually I stopped 'dating' her. But because we worked together, and had become 'friends/confidants', and because she was a new christian, I felt I had to try to be a good christian friend to her, giving her advise when asked and listening to her. I suffered through this because, without going into it, she's not a good friend and hurtful. I thought I was doing what's required of me as a follower of Christ.
Finally now, we rarely work together anymore, so I feel I can let her know I'm not going to have any contact with her though she's still contacting me. Is this OK? Thoughts?
-- as far as being their Christian friend and advisor -- or allowing them to have any contact with you -- when they are not good friends, are narcissists and very often just hurt you carelessly, subconsciously, or purposely? That is to say, are we allowed to tell them we don't ever want to talk to them ever again... outside of heaven?
I would think there's general scriptural commands and guidelines that cover this issue. And then there's what to do in specific cases. I'm curious in what you all think about both.
This is how I would assess my specific situation: I dated a woman who appears to be a new christian. Is she really a christian? Really difficult to say because her "fruits" are a mixed bag. She professes to be a christian, but never wanted to talk about her personal conversion; most often she only references wacky fringe videos on end-times issues, giants, Biden sign-of-the-beast, lowbrow conspiracy junk; she's a narcissist: continues to do horribly insensitive things that you'd think she knows hurts me deeply.
Many months ago we went out, got along great, she talked about being soulmates, wanting to use the Love word and speed up to marriage, though she acknowledged (as I made clear) we needed months to get to know each other. After about a couple months she said she didn't want a relationship, but wanted to keep dating/seeing me 5+ days a week, what she calls "just for company". I wanted to think she wasn't really decided about no-relationship, so I continued. With my eyes opening to who she was, and incompatibility, eventually I stopped 'dating' her. But because we worked together, and had become 'friends/confidants', and because she was a new christian, I felt I had to try to be a good christian friend to her, giving her advise when asked and listening to her. I suffered through this because, without going into it, she's not a good friend and hurtful. I thought I was doing what's required of me as a follower of Christ.
Finally now, we rarely work together anymore, so I feel I can let her know I'm not going to have any contact with her though she's still contacting me. Is this OK? Thoughts?
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