This isn't a bash on the author of the thread, nor is it an attack on what the point of the thread was about. I believe there is good that this thread was meant to bring out, but being a guy who had been rejected, stood up, mocked, made to wait, and accused of allegations that are false, a lot of what was said in that thread by the respondents, though good and noble when spoken, just seems empty because there's hardly any dedication behind it. This may be a long and rocky thread, but bear with me on this. It's more than just me that thinks about what is going to be said on this topic, and there are many other men who have been through similar situations that can and probably will attest to on here.
Qualities such as fighting for your spouse, being humble, be loving and caring, and being godly are all good characteristics to see in a man, and they should. have them. I don't think any guy who's in or wants a serious relationship would disagree with any of it. However, more often than not, and it seems to be growing everyday, whenever many single, and even married, women say this, they seem to NEVER pursue these type of men. Or if they are married, it's NEVER with the type of man they describe. It's not all women, so no arguments from me on this, but the number of women who say this but never truly act on having these type of men in a relationship.
What's sad is many of these men are put on the back burner and usually put on the fore front whenever the these women want a resource of some sorts. Namely the man's money and/or their possessions. In other words, these men are taken advantage of by these women. We also see this inside of marriages, and the idea of "happy wife, happy life" is implemented. Sure we like to see spouses happy, but when did it ONLY become give the wife everything and the man nothing? We sit here and say that women give men emotional support, but that amounts to nothing in the end, if the wife doesn't respect the husband but the husband is loving his wife. One step further, the man is being mindful and caring for the wife but many of these women in marriage are not being submissive to the husband, when it is the male that has to lead.
That's the way it should be, and there are men who are willing to be in these relationships, with these qualities, that would be very dedicated to the woman they're interested in. And men, especially those who gave their lives to Christ, don't ask for much. So long as the woman is on the same page as us and that she's someone we enjoy being with, and that they too have truly accepted Jesus into their lives, we're happy. Not that we don't have our standards and preferences, but that varies from guy to guy and the list is extremely small, regardless of who it is. However, when we go up to ask a woman out, we're met with all sorts of different reactions:
-"I don't know"
-"I'm not sure"
-"I'll have to think about it"
-"I need surgery on my toe, so I can't, right now"
-"We'll see"
-(man turns back after answer, woman whispers to friend) "That dude was weird"
There's other reactions, but you get the idea. Most of the time, anymore, a lot of these women simply don't say 'no' and leave the guy alone. Men understand that women have their standards and preferences and we will respect it. However, what these women don't even acknowledge is men's standards and preferences. It's as if they enjoy the validation from the men that asked them out but don't want them to actually take them out on a date.
In many cases, the guys that these ladies are not interested in paint these men as creepy just because they don't meet what they are looking for. Then at the same time, good looking men do the exact same thing, maybe even less than the other guys, then these women jump on top of the opportunity Not saying men don't do the same thing, but it's becoming even more common with women. One woman I asked out didn't even tell me that she was with another man. I found she was, when I was on the job a week later after I asked. Haven't spoken to her since. Another woman I asked out did something similar, except it was with a concert we were suppose to go to, and she agreed to go. But, according to her, she "forgot", even though we had talked about going for quite some time. She told me she had a bf the next day and I felt foolish. Now, every time I may see her on the street, behind my back, she makes fun of me, and a lot of it is because I asked her out.
So on the topic of who these women are actually interested in: The last thread talked about the qualities of what to find in a gentleman. Again, no arguments from me, all good things. However, many women don't go after these men. They're primary goal is to after, what we call, Chad. These type of men can vary a little, but the usual traits are extremely attractive physically, a six figure income (or more), over six feet tall, and a bad boy attitude. These men can have ANY woman they want just by batting their eye at them, and women love this attribute because one of them wants be the girl who tamed this beast. When they do get into a relationship with this man, it's practically heaven for them.
What is it that we find out about these men? Typically, they're not Christ like, horrible to other people around them (especially towards normal men), and they're never committed to the women they're with. More often than not, they cheat on the women they're with constantly, but when they call off the relationship, or even when they don't, the women that were cheated on might be mad but they NEVER give this man up. When there is a break up, this man is still on their minds while dating other guys who may not be like the guy they were with. What ends up happening is the new guys, who have the qualities that women are looking for, are used for their money and also as a way to try and get the guy they actually want back.
A woman I was seeing for awhile had an ex who was basically Chad. Her family did not like this man at all. Even some of her friends did not like him. But to this woman, this man was her all in all. Every putdown of this man she had told me was ALWAYS followed up by a compliment. After their breakup, she dated other guys but never lasted as long as her one ex. When I dated her, the ex passed away the time I spent time with this woman. Found out later she had been in contact with this man, or at least this man's widowed wife. A month without going out, even when things were going great, this woman called off the relationship a day after my vacation. Ultimately, it was, more than likely, the passing of her ex and how she would never see him again that caused it. She might of been hoping to get him back somehow.
I'll begin to wrap this up, but even with the info known about men like this, women STILL go after them, while the gentlemen are left to dry. I've heard similar stories from other men, some I know personally. It's sad when godly men feel as if they're lonely and told over and over again that a woman will come along. Then when a woman does, it's typically met with rinse and repeat. And it's sad for women who DO want men with these qualities because these men, more or less, give up. They go into hiding, maybe even embarrassed, after they've been demonized, humiliated, and mocked for even trying. Even inside of church it's hard to start a relationship with a woman. It's becoming increasingly difficult for godly people to be together because they're told that women need to go out with particular men while normal men are painted as scums of the earth.
In conclusion to all this, the qualities in the "A Gentleman" thread from women sound nice, but anymore, it's just words without any meaning when said. If women really do believe in it, then show us some action behind the words. Guys are tired of the games and this vanity that many of these women put on.
For the single women, let your 'yes' be yes and 'no' be no. Don't sit there saying that you want a good man only to turn several down that are and go out with these men of poor character. If you want a go to quality inside of a gentleman, here it is: Christ like. If he's not like that, it's a no-go. You know many that are and are not, so don't pretend like you have no idea of the ones you're associated with. You know who have the red flags, so don't try to change them.
For the single men, I hate to say this but stay single, for the time being. Focus on your family, friends, hobbies, and, most of all, on God. Your time and well being are valuable. Don't latch yourself onto women that are simply not interested. And don't pursue them, either. Your intentions might be good, but many women don't want that. You can, however, keep watch, but do what you enjoy doing and let the women come to you if they're interested.
A long one, yes, and I apologize, but I believe more people need to be having this conversation. Too many people who have been hurt unnecessarily because of what the world tells them rather than listening to what God has to say about how things ought to be. After all, He IS the Creator of all the universe and made us in His likeness. I'm just beginning to learn more about this kind of stuff on this subject of why it is people are not being as faithful in a relationship or hooking up with someone who's not Christ like. So this is not meant as a put down towards anyone in particular, but if we say something like what was said in thread mentioned, we better mean it. Otherwise we're fooling ourselves. Anyway, thanks for reading!
Qualities such as fighting for your spouse, being humble, be loving and caring, and being godly are all good characteristics to see in a man, and they should. have them. I don't think any guy who's in or wants a serious relationship would disagree with any of it. However, more often than not, and it seems to be growing everyday, whenever many single, and even married, women say this, they seem to NEVER pursue these type of men. Or if they are married, it's NEVER with the type of man they describe. It's not all women, so no arguments from me on this, but the number of women who say this but never truly act on having these type of men in a relationship.
What's sad is many of these men are put on the back burner and usually put on the fore front whenever the these women want a resource of some sorts. Namely the man's money and/or their possessions. In other words, these men are taken advantage of by these women. We also see this inside of marriages, and the idea of "happy wife, happy life" is implemented. Sure we like to see spouses happy, but when did it ONLY become give the wife everything and the man nothing? We sit here and say that women give men emotional support, but that amounts to nothing in the end, if the wife doesn't respect the husband but the husband is loving his wife. One step further, the man is being mindful and caring for the wife but many of these women in marriage are not being submissive to the husband, when it is the male that has to lead.
That's the way it should be, and there are men who are willing to be in these relationships, with these qualities, that would be very dedicated to the woman they're interested in. And men, especially those who gave their lives to Christ, don't ask for much. So long as the woman is on the same page as us and that she's someone we enjoy being with, and that they too have truly accepted Jesus into their lives, we're happy. Not that we don't have our standards and preferences, but that varies from guy to guy and the list is extremely small, regardless of who it is. However, when we go up to ask a woman out, we're met with all sorts of different reactions:
-"I don't know"
-"I'm not sure"
-"I'll have to think about it"
-"I need surgery on my toe, so I can't, right now"
-"We'll see"
-(man turns back after answer, woman whispers to friend) "That dude was weird"
There's other reactions, but you get the idea. Most of the time, anymore, a lot of these women simply don't say 'no' and leave the guy alone. Men understand that women have their standards and preferences and we will respect it. However, what these women don't even acknowledge is men's standards and preferences. It's as if they enjoy the validation from the men that asked them out but don't want them to actually take them out on a date.
In many cases, the guys that these ladies are not interested in paint these men as creepy just because they don't meet what they are looking for. Then at the same time, good looking men do the exact same thing, maybe even less than the other guys, then these women jump on top of the opportunity Not saying men don't do the same thing, but it's becoming even more common with women. One woman I asked out didn't even tell me that she was with another man. I found she was, when I was on the job a week later after I asked. Haven't spoken to her since. Another woman I asked out did something similar, except it was with a concert we were suppose to go to, and she agreed to go. But, according to her, she "forgot", even though we had talked about going for quite some time. She told me she had a bf the next day and I felt foolish. Now, every time I may see her on the street, behind my back, she makes fun of me, and a lot of it is because I asked her out.
So on the topic of who these women are actually interested in: The last thread talked about the qualities of what to find in a gentleman. Again, no arguments from me, all good things. However, many women don't go after these men. They're primary goal is to after, what we call, Chad. These type of men can vary a little, but the usual traits are extremely attractive physically, a six figure income (or more), over six feet tall, and a bad boy attitude. These men can have ANY woman they want just by batting their eye at them, and women love this attribute because one of them wants be the girl who tamed this beast. When they do get into a relationship with this man, it's practically heaven for them.
What is it that we find out about these men? Typically, they're not Christ like, horrible to other people around them (especially towards normal men), and they're never committed to the women they're with. More often than not, they cheat on the women they're with constantly, but when they call off the relationship, or even when they don't, the women that were cheated on might be mad but they NEVER give this man up. When there is a break up, this man is still on their minds while dating other guys who may not be like the guy they were with. What ends up happening is the new guys, who have the qualities that women are looking for, are used for their money and also as a way to try and get the guy they actually want back.
A woman I was seeing for awhile had an ex who was basically Chad. Her family did not like this man at all. Even some of her friends did not like him. But to this woman, this man was her all in all. Every putdown of this man she had told me was ALWAYS followed up by a compliment. After their breakup, she dated other guys but never lasted as long as her one ex. When I dated her, the ex passed away the time I spent time with this woman. Found out later she had been in contact with this man, or at least this man's widowed wife. A month without going out, even when things were going great, this woman called off the relationship a day after my vacation. Ultimately, it was, more than likely, the passing of her ex and how she would never see him again that caused it. She might of been hoping to get him back somehow.
I'll begin to wrap this up, but even with the info known about men like this, women STILL go after them, while the gentlemen are left to dry. I've heard similar stories from other men, some I know personally. It's sad when godly men feel as if they're lonely and told over and over again that a woman will come along. Then when a woman does, it's typically met with rinse and repeat. And it's sad for women who DO want men with these qualities because these men, more or less, give up. They go into hiding, maybe even embarrassed, after they've been demonized, humiliated, and mocked for even trying. Even inside of church it's hard to start a relationship with a woman. It's becoming increasingly difficult for godly people to be together because they're told that women need to go out with particular men while normal men are painted as scums of the earth.
In conclusion to all this, the qualities in the "A Gentleman" thread from women sound nice, but anymore, it's just words without any meaning when said. If women really do believe in it, then show us some action behind the words. Guys are tired of the games and this vanity that many of these women put on.
For the single women, let your 'yes' be yes and 'no' be no. Don't sit there saying that you want a good man only to turn several down that are and go out with these men of poor character. If you want a go to quality inside of a gentleman, here it is: Christ like. If he's not like that, it's a no-go. You know many that are and are not, so don't pretend like you have no idea of the ones you're associated with. You know who have the red flags, so don't try to change them.
For the single men, I hate to say this but stay single, for the time being. Focus on your family, friends, hobbies, and, most of all, on God. Your time and well being are valuable. Don't latch yourself onto women that are simply not interested. And don't pursue them, either. Your intentions might be good, but many women don't want that. You can, however, keep watch, but do what you enjoy doing and let the women come to you if they're interested.
A long one, yes, and I apologize, but I believe more people need to be having this conversation. Too many people who have been hurt unnecessarily because of what the world tells them rather than listening to what God has to say about how things ought to be. After all, He IS the Creator of all the universe and made us in His likeness. I'm just beginning to learn more about this kind of stuff on this subject of why it is people are not being as faithful in a relationship or hooking up with someone who's not Christ like. So this is not meant as a put down towards anyone in particular, but if we say something like what was said in thread mentioned, we better mean it. Otherwise we're fooling ourselves. Anyway, thanks for reading!
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