Which is more important looks or personality?

maybe smell is first?

in terms of attraction. The appeal of a rose, for example, is not just their petal colours but their lovely perfume. You can get modern roses that are big and colourful but have absolutely no scent, and I think what is the point?!

A rose needs to smell like a rose to be a rose.

If she smells like vanilla (ice cream) or musk, I'm all in.

I think what you're referring to are pheromones 😜 @Lanolin

Although, I have to admit that a person who smells nice gains some attractiveness points.

No amount of good smell or good looks can compensate for bad character or a personality that just doesn't jibe with mine, though.

Conversely, no amount of personality or character can make up for a lack of physical appeal, IMO. Though I've heard of stories where the physical attractiveness ended up developing over time (but I've never personally experienced it).

I love the smell of musk! (white musk especially) Vanilla is super basic but for some reason the male population seems to really like it, lol.

The only anecdote I can scare up is Lenin and his mistress Inessa Armand. She found him impressive at first, but not attractive.

That's interesting! Well, I think admiration can lead to attraction, though it's not on a physical level per se. Human beings are interesting creatures, haha.

Yeah, I think the attraction was largely based on admiration. Power can be quite the aphrodisiac and Lenin knew what it took to gain it and wield it. He also made the women in his life feel like they were apart of his journey (more than his male friends). So not only was he destined for greatness, but so were they by extension.

I'm reading a biography of him right now. He's an interesting man, but I wish somebody made it about 20 years shorter, hahaha.

@Desdichado

Power can definitely be "quite the aphrodisiac" as you said, mhm. Perhaps moreso for women?

My family comes from the former Soviet union so Lenin is a character I've heard about quite a bit, though I've never looked into his life / biography much.

What do you mean by "20 years shorter"? As in, the book is too long, or? Lol.

I don't think it's even a question.

Hahaha. I had a feeling there was a Russian connection somewhere, Ms. Squirrel.

Here is the amazon link to the book if you're so inclined. It's detailed and very fast-paced.


I mean I wish he died earlier.

@Desdichado

Haha, you got me! But shhh, don't tell anyone XD

Thanks for the link. I must admit I will most likely not read it, but who knows, maybe in 10-15 years... When I'm a lil' older and desirous of reconnecting with my "roots" lol!

All I can say is...
(Eccl. 3:1-2)

oh then why do women have boob jobs. Just wondering.
Both adding to and cutting them off.

I saw this book in the bookshop in the memoir section and the title was 'I am more than just my tits' surviving breast cancer

I guess most men will ditch a woman if she gets sick and is no longer physically attractive :-(

romantic books like the Notebook by nicholas Sparks are just fairytales right? No guy would look after their wife if she got dementia.

Yeah, unfortunately some do. Though that shouldn't be the way a Christian man behaves.

True love (love from the Holy Spirit) looks beyond appearances. But that's not an easy thing for us to grasp because we're so rooted in the physical. I do believe that that's one of the reasons we are to marry the one God leads us to - because He will give us the grace to love them even in trials and if anything bad happens to them (God forbid).

There are men out there who take care of their sick wives though. @tourist is one (with his previous wife, if I remember correctly).

So while it's rare, it's not unheard of.

Ultimately if you truly love someone, you will love them through everything, good and bad. That's how I see it.
But God's hand needs to be upon the situation, because the flesh is weak.

Pfffft. Reconnect now! It's a good yarn if nothing else.


Consider my wish a Psalmist lament.

My mother is in elder care and she always found the opposite is true. It's not uncommon for couples who divorce in their 50's to get back together in their 60's and 70's. One gets sick and it tugs the other's heartstrings. They have nowhere else to turn.

They seldom remarry, but sickness is rarely the cause of abandonment.

No, it's a fairy tale because the man's recollection makes his wife lucid again.

Have you ever read the story of the velveteen rabbit?

when you look at children , they dont want a brand new toy, they'll still hold on to their raggedy old one they loved the most. Even when its falling apart.

when I was a child thats what I did. It HAD to be THAT toy (or ragdoll) not a plastic barbie. You couldnt simply replace a well loved one.

If only you knew the amount of books that are patiently waiting on my desk (and in my desk, and on my bed, and on the floor...) for me to read them. Haha. I'll have to add that one to the list, but it's quite lengthy! I might get to it in a decade.
Maybe if you pray real hard about it, I'll get to read it. Haha! (please don't do that)