I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?
Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.
It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.
Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.
I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.
I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?
As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'
But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'
On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.
Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.
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