Why Doesn't Anyone Talk About Believers Dating Unequally Yoked Believers?

I know the opposite, one of my church friends counselled a believer into marrying an unbeliever as they were already living together anyway.

one church member I knew even wanted her son to move in with his girlfriend cos she didnt want him hanging round the house.

?!

From my own observations I would say that this is true.

I have trouble with that word 'insisted' rather than recommend. You were a very new Christian, perhaps this girlfriend could've been a very new Christian too. Seriously, I would not have considered further counsel from this pastor.

If a new believer is already with a non-Christian, attempting to dissolve their relationship is a vile thing to do. Unless the relationship is toxic.

I met some wise ladies that have been Christians longer than this pastor has been alive and they were quite disgusted by his attitude.

I dont know if the believer was a 'new believer'. I think she was young though and obviously had no idea what to do if she was asking for advice.

If one person becomes a believer and the other doesnt and they are already together before that, I wouldnt counsel breaking up but praying and waiting for the unbeliever, unless they choose to leave. Paul gives such advice in Corinthians.

I was told by this pastor often to end my relationship. That kind of behaviour is a bit too controlling for me.

I think people dont often talk about it because its embarassing.
I think pastors can reasonably warn people of the dangers but not tell people they should end things because thats up to the couple to decide. Easier to do this if you are engaged but not already married.

at the other extreme Ive heard of a friend who provided a refuge for a another friend who ran away from her partner I mean if safety is of concern like they are gonna be at risk of being beaten up or abused if they stay then provide that safe place for them at least.

its a bit idiotic of people to say end things when that person literally has nowhere to go.

I believe in till death do us part but Emotional abuse (like yelling at you all the time ,cursing you and belittling you) and physical abuse...I cant tolerate those...those are the actions that I could not tolerate in my marriage...no second chance for those behaviors....


An incident a long time ago that stuck in my head till now...it was a call from my sister "crying,telling me her boyfriend slapped her" it was like somebody stabbed me in my heart... it was traumatizing even if I didnt see it.

My sister's cry the day she called me broke my heart ....until now whenever I remember that day...I feel sadness and anger...I feel helpless..I feel pain...I wished I was there to protect her...I pray it won't happen again to any of my sisters I hope those who are abused by their husbands or wives to immediately leave...😔 You don't deserve to be treated like that...

There are thousands of denominations and beliefs, so when you meet someone and they say they're a Christian, you have to ask them what they mean by that.

But some people think if they have a good connection with someone who they are attracted to then thats the end of the story because love will conquer all. Untill they marry and find out that their spouse has their own different ideas about things and no matter what, they wont change their minds. The battle is on. Egos and stiff necks take centerstage.

Two cant walk together unless they agree. It applies to christians as well.

Its just like when two unsaved are living together unmarried. If the woman becomes saved, the man still expects the relationship to continue as before even though they not married. Naturally people will say, the woman should get out. But yes, where will she go?

I wonder what happens in the opposte case, the man gets saved and the woman doesnt.
but then theres children to think about too.

it takes more faith to stick by someone whos unsaved then someone whos unsaved staying with someone whos saved.


hmm

Most women in above situation would probably just go back to their parents, unless their parents said dont come crying to me if it doesnt work out.

Except there is a verse saying what to do in such a situation. We are told to remain faithful in the relationship. I think the Lord is fully capable of moving the unbelieving spouse into getting a divorce and relieving the believing spouse of their commitment. Certainly a trial I wouldn't desire for sure though.



@The OP though...

I am pleased that someone mentioned that marriage is a covenant. That was my first thought when reading the OP. A covenant is an agreement. We promise to agree. Part of my personal agreement would be parameters for arbitration/mediation if or when the need arises. Certainly the Lord is our mediator though at times it is possible that we are either both in error or blind to how to communicate and he doesn't make it an "in house" situation.

There are so many times where mutually agreeable terms can be had and I think of marriage a bit legally I guess. Especially if a person is willing to lay down their "say" at the foot of the cross and trust the Lord to work it out in our hearts vs almost exalting our own will and timing (which

Suppose I am resolute in my flesh on a particular issue. Can I agree to table the issue for a time and agree on when/how it should be handled since obviously my deeper desire would be to be right before the Lord and with my wife? I see no reason not.

There may be times when mediation "should" be drawn out and for the other spouse to not "force the issue" because perhaps the other spouse has some heart issues that could be worked through privately that very night? Who knows.

What I do know is that any word/promise made should be honored and an agreed upon additional source of counsel be considered.


I liked what @cinder said in the first few lines about "agreeing to disagree" basically. I don't like that phrase but sometimes it's "almost" just that. We agree to a compromise but it is still the willingness to "come to the table" and resolve things that is important. If the resolution isn't a mutually agreeable compromise, then readdressing it at a later date if and when it still remains a burden for the other seems like a wise course of action. Time does change things and we are all still maturing. The next day brings new insights to light and when the timing seems hypercritical, I've found immense relief from just taking a step back and having faith that the Lord understands my own sight and what I have to work with and if in sincerity a pivotal decision is delayed against his will, I believe he will make that clear...sometimes the timing may not be delayed and lest I fall into a rather long tangent on the conditional nature of Christian living regarding the details...Always defer to what is written and when it is unclear, I think the Lord has patience with us

Im talking about the unsaved women leaving the saved husband
saved wives usually stick with the unsaved husband because of children. But not always, especially when adultery is involved.

if its just a difference in churches or financial issues it usually can be resolved. Maybe a new church congregates from the old one, someone gets a new job or sells off some assets, or the couple move elsewhere. Thats just life.