can you guys post something funny please?

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Sunday school:

Teacher: Kids, can any of you tell me where God is?

Kid: He's in the bathroom.

Teacher: How do you suppose that is?

Kid: Because, every morning my father wakes up and stands outside the bathroom and shouts, "God, you're still in the bathroom."
 
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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this joke.:LOL:)

What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.

Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs. So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan. Sister Mary happily walked two blocks to the closest gas station filled up the bedpan with gas and headed back to her car. Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the gas into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle. Just when she finished pouring in the last drops of gas a fellow opened up his window and hollered, “I swear! If that car starts I’m becoming a religious man!”


Anxious to finally get the porch painted, I urged by husband to allow the man that knocked on our door looking for handiwork to do the job. The man happily agreed to paint it for $50. We were thrilled at our good luck of getting our wide porch painted for a measly $50. Minutes later there was a knock at the door. “All done” he said. “Already?” we both said at once. “Yeah, and by the way, it’s a Lexus not a Porsche”.
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Billy had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you." "Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."
 
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