Is it a bad witness for a Christian pastor to marry someone 30 years younger?

However, I think there are a lot of younger women who are more attracted to older men, because of daddy issues.

I think if a pastor, say 55, married a 25 yr old woman then there would be a mixed reaction. The fifty year old women would lose respect for him. The fifty year old men who are devout would think he’s fleshy. The fifty year old less devout men would envy him. The twenty year old men would find him more manly and a better leader. The twenty year old women might find him appealing (it’s a proven psychological thing). In my opinion I think that a successful marriage is based largely on compatibility. As this pastor in his experience would probably start being in his prime as a leader, now is anchored to the responsibilities of new marriage, and possibly late fatherhood. A man in his fifties to a woman in her twenties may not hold the same attraction in ten or fifteen years. When you grow old together a bond is formed. When one grows old, a dependency is formed.

I agree with your remarks. Timothy may have been an exception but having a young pastor who isn't married is problematic.

Awesome question. I am 27 years older than my wife and live in America. As far as I know, few people care about the age difference and treat her well because she is an amazing woman with character. My mother lives with us and she loves my wife too.

But, as for a pastor having a younger wife? Boy that makes me think. My pastor approves of my marriage by the way, it was his idea to look abroad. I would say it shouldn't matter but probably would because of all the speculation from the congregation. As I say that I think in some smaller churches where people can maybe see how he treats her and regards her that might help their relationship be accepted. An age gap of 20+ years in America makes up only about 1% of marriages so that is very unusual.

I would love to hear the questions the board of elders would ask him if he was a canditate for a pastor job.

speculation from congregation just would not exist if the pastor is upfront on why he is 'thinking of marrying someone 30 years younger'. most people in church base their choice of marriage partner on spiritual reasons not age differences. eg they would marry someone because of their christian character, not based on how old they are. Though they do need to be over 18. you cant marry a child.

I wonder why this is posted in the singles forum when its more of a family forum question you would get more answers there and possibly from people who might have that age gap.

I have asked about age gap differences here before and there are difficulties when there are huge differences, not at first but later on they show up. eg when people retire and the younger spouse is not ready to retire, or they have to look after the older spouse and give up their own work to do so.

possibly.
or it could be that older men on the whole are more attractive becase they have more money and assets at their disposal, wheras younger men would most probably be in debt. Just to be cynical about it!

Oh the speculation never ends, that's just people. I am also sure the pastor is looking for spiritual reasons as that is the only requirement. He will look for someone attractive to him, naturally, but he must marry a Christian and they are all over the world.

I dont think forced marriages are that easy on people I recall those who marry church staff to do missionary work often dont marry for lasting reasons if they dont truly love each other but only the circumstances....these are marriages of convenience, when that convenience is threatened or turns out not-so convenient couples are not so happy.

You do realise that both Jesus and the Apostle Paul were single?

....Or a Pastor to Marry a Woman 30 years Older? 😏🙂

yes...they werent pastors though...teachers and evangelists. not everyone is a pastor or bishop or deacon.

I do feel sorry for the young woman who would be willing to marry someone 30 years older. She could be his daughters or sons age and that would make everything awkward.

Where are we going with this logic? Is it being suggested that Paul would not qualify as an elder in the churches he planted because he was single? Or because he had no children?

I am 30 now...the highest I would go is 45. So I’m willing to go half way lol!!
But no can do on the full 30 years. 60 is way too old...older than my parents!

er...Paul was the one who WROTE the letter to Timothy. Im not being logical its just what Paul himself wrote so ask God about it...I didnt write the Bible am just referring to it?!

Paul wrote that Timothy was his son so...read it how you wanna read it.
evangelist job is quite different from pastoring as you might know if youve ever actually done any pastoring or evangelising. Paul trained Timothy as an evangelist, not a pastor.

I wouldnt mind. The fruit counts. Age is just a number anyway

My dad....my husband....my daughter, my wife.

That’s a lovely thought but I wouldn’t say, “...just a number.” Numbers are representatives of things. Where age is concerned, it represents when you should be mature enough drive, or drink alcohol. It’s used to measure, experience and hopefully wisdom. Then finally it’s more of a countdown to when the body begins to deteriorate leading to death. When I was forty, I was in the best shape of my life, fitness model “in shape”. Changing priorities in the last year made me unable to commit to exercise as before. Tendinitis settled into my forearms causing continuous pain. My sons now beat me in sprinting races. They are athletic teens but I used to be faster. I’m almost ready to return to my fitness regime but in the last year I’m no longer seeing age as “just a number.”