Feeling a little sad and 'lonely' today

Proverbs 3:5-6

Thank u also for sharing ur burdens.. more than happy to bear and pray w/ u. Most of all, God is w/ us, remember. I always look forward to meeting w/ the Lord in His word at least twice day.. but thee are countless ways to talk and walk w/ Him at home, as we go abt daily duties and activities, also singing to Him and listening to others sing.

Don't mind the irritations and hurts too much. Trust in the Lord. I haven't found Him closer to me than in this lockdown. We still hope and pray for more normalcy, but whatever the Lord allows, we're told we can rejoice even if the fig does not bear fruit. Keeping u in prayer, bro.

Thank you for your kind words and letting me 'blow off a little steam'. The Lord is moving and leading me to scriptures and imparting wisdom, also from other sources. I got a little sloppy about time in the word, I meant to, but the atmosphere here has seemed rather heavy during the season of Ramadan, but feels lighter now, so I have renewed my word time. I've been listening to "Who is this that appears like the dawn"? on youtube, great song. The Lord showed me that I got crushed as a child by people's words when I tried to share my real feelings and thoughts and that the intense feeling of shame that was surfacing when I reached out and opened up came from this. Obviously we have to forgive, but He has been revealing the emotional damage that has apparently happened in my life and is healing this. Our part is to forgive and then give the injustice to Him and allow Him to bring transformation. It's great, isn't it, whatever we go through, Jesus always has the victory. My heart is starting to come from pieces into peace now. He showed me I was colluding with the abuse in this situation and that I have to look after my heart and put proper boundaries in. By the way, I'm a lady - a 'sis'! Bless you, take care!

Recently I sent a text to my manfriend who lives 2 streets away to ask how he was managing the "unlockdown", after the restrictions began to be eased and we could meet one other person - at 2 metres distance - out of doors. He said he was not planning on going out that day. I replied to ask if he wanted to meet briefly in the park between our two houses. Then he rang up in a temper and made it quite clear that he definitely did NOT want to meet and did not suggest another time. I felt fairly hurt by his anger and quite rejected, as I was reaching out to him thinking he might be feeling lonely and want some company. I might add that he has taken most of the initiative these last 3 years to seek me out for my company, and it was only very recently he told me it was a shame I could not come out in the car with him to a local beauty spot we go to. I felt totally blindsided by this response. Later that week I sent a text to say how his anger had left me feeling (it frightened me a bit actually) and that his response had felt rude, ungrateful and disrespectful and asked him not to vent his anger on me, and to seek help and support if he was struggling. He replied by text, apologised for upsetting me, explained it was not intentional, and said it was because he was frustrated by a jigsaw puzzle with too many small pieces! I accepted his apology and took it at face value, but decided to stop initiating with him and give him some space and for my own wellbeing. I am not sure what is up with him, but I am struggling to see the connection between frustration with a jigsaw puzzle and making a decision whether he wants to see me or not. We are still in text contact (he initiates and I reply politely), but although he has been for a four mile walk with his best male buddy/pastor, and goes out in the car, he has not shown any desire to meet up. I am not sure what to think of a man who has sought me out for company regularly every week, at least once if not twice, who appears to slam the door in my face during a time of national crisis when I reach out for a little company and connection. I did hear from his pastor friend (who is also a friend of mine)and apparently he had been given the puzzle line as well, as X had admitted that he had been angry with me on the phone. That was his explanation but I think it is probably frustration over the lockdown, fear about catching the virus, and perhaps he has a mental condition as well to complicate things - I don't like to judge. It has crossed my mind that now he can get out in the car that perhaps he has connected with other women online and is off pursuing them, and my request caused a conflict in his heart which erupted in anger. I have backed off but if he contacts me (usually by text) then I keep things sweet, and keep praying for him and am trying to keep my heart free of the anger that comes with disappointment. I found his response very selfish and since he only seems to want friendship anyway, suspect he is either ill (he has a health condition which makes him grumpy sometimes) or pursuing other woman and doesn't want me to know, wants to keep me on a string because maybe all I am to him is a convenience store. I don't think I can see a future with a man with issues like these, but having backed off, he seems to want to keep in contact, albeit by text. However, after prayer, I feel I have needed to stop initiating contact with him, as I feel I could not go out for car trips on my own with a man who has irrational outbursts of anger. I just feel the need today to share my heart - thanks for listening. It seems like everyone I have ever met even in church circles (it was our pastor friend and his wife who introduced us and encouraged me to go out with him) has treated me badly and let me down. I have given it to the Lord now and letting Him do what He wants with us, as I do need to protect myself. Please would you pray for me and X, that X will see the need to change - maybe he is not truly born again - and that I will be protected and able to move on in peace if necessary. I feel a deep loneliness and disconnection inside sometimes although I know the Lord is with me. I am not sure what is causing this sense of being detached from everyone and not feeling as if I belong. I know it is probably a lie and probably due to emotional damage. I have been battling the damage for over 40 years now and am tired, so just resting in the Lord now and journeying with Him through the lockdown. Thanks so much for bearing with me - I needed to share how I was feeling.

This lockdown has been draining and testing for everyone. And for many living alone, not being able to go to work or meet up with friends have been draining. It has also tested friendships.

I had a friend that I became very close to during the lockdown. When things were getting back to normal, he ended it. It broke my heart, like I was only someone he could pass time with while this lockdown went on.

To be turned down for a jigsaw puzzle... no wonder you feel hurt. Perhaps this showed you his true colours?

Choose your friends wisely, and stay clear of those that let you down. That is the corona-lesson I have learnt.

God bless you, and try to find comfort in Christ. You are not alone. A friend of mine told me yesterday, as I was feeling lonely too, that lonliness is a fiery dart from the enemy. Pray against it, seek company elsewhere. Call another friend. And let this friend that was so busy with his jigsaw puzzle come to you when he is ready.

Lord we bring UKChris, and this prayer request to you, please bless. In Jesus gracious name, Amen!