Advice From A Octogenarian---Don't Depend On Christian Charity In Your Old Age

Lon1934 · Feb 21, 2020

LIVING IN ASSISTED LIVING -- A RESIDENTS PERSPECTIVE by Lon Tanner
Prologue--

Preparing For Assisted Living—

If you are now in your 50’s /60’s you stand a excellent chance of requiring some kind of Assisted Living in your later years. Why take the chance of having to sell your home and liquidate your assets and income.
The best thing you could do would be to buy a Long Term Care Policy through your employer if available, or independently on your own. Having such insurance will help preserve your assets and income. Such insurance is expensive, but considerably less so if purchased in your 50’s & 60’s.

My Moving Here--

Since my moving into the Oakmont Assisted Living/Memory Care/Alzheimer’s facility two years ago I have had to go through a substantial learning experience. I made the arrangement my self instead of everything being decided on by a CARE TAKER/Friend/Family Member which is the usual scenario. I live in a very comfortable one bedroom/one bath/living room/kitchenette apartment on the second floor of a two floor facility. I am fortunate to have retained some degree of computer and technology experience which has made my life easier and more comfortable and will be discussed in another Blog
Health/Mobility

Like most of the residents, I am living here because of health issues that create symptoms requiring some degree of assistance. Many of the residents have some degree of hearing loss and wear one or more hearing aids My hearing loss is severe and makes certain social interaction difficult if not impossible.I cannot hear music and sorely miss it. Two of my medical conditions make it necessary to use a walker. A cane would be nice but balance difficulty requires a walker. Many of the residents use walkers and some wheel chairs, electrical and mechanical. I some times think we could use a traffic cop to direct walker and wheel chair movement in hallways and elevator. I am envious of some of the 90 year olds that are very mobile.
I voluntarialy gave up driving the year prior to moving here due to Peripheral Neuropathy affecting my legs. I started using Uber for my appointments until discovering that my AL facility could take me to scheduled appointments.

Paying for Assisted Living-

-Living here is expensive and my monthly costs are in excess of $6,000 per month.Fortunately, my Long Term Care Insurance Policy and monthly income is more than sufficient to pay ALL my monthly living costs. Some residents have had to liquidate their assets or have family members pay.
A resident could very well outlive all their assets.

Meals and Dining at Assisted Living

The Main Dining Room is comfortable and nicely decorated. Menus are on each table for each days three meal offerings. Any of the meals can be delivered to a resident's apartment for what is called Tray Service. The charge is $ 5.00.

As a Change of Pace I will occasionally order a meal using my I Phone to contact Grubhub and have a meal delivered from a local Ethnic eatery or microwave a very good Marie Calendar meal.
I order certain food and snack items from a market to keep in my fridge using my laptop. These items are delivered right to my apartment. These items include certain wines that I love and enjoy.

Apartment Kitchenettes have a Microwave / Fridge/Freezer but are not designed for heavy meal
preparation.

SHRIMP FETUCCINI

mar09 · Feb 21, 2020

Nice share.. Many young people do not perhaps want to think abt growing 'old,' but Ecclesiastes actually tells us to prepare for old age=). Last week, I was talking w/ a doctor, a co-parent at school, when she said a friend told her not to have too large a house constructed. For when the children become adults and leave, you can barely cope w/ a big house, unless you're very rich and can afford helpers, etc. Where I live, where nursing homes and homes for the aged are not that many or popular (yet), a house w/ space to move abt esp outside after one retires, may even be preferable. That from a retirable manager, who had such a large house he and his wife are not sure what to do with, now their children have their own lives.

Lanolin · Feb 21, 2020

Its good if you can afford it.

I worked in several retirement villages but even though they may have afforded the best care they missed their families. It was kind of sad. I did the gardens which were negelected since they couldnt look after them anymore, and some residents never got to step outside. They could see from their windows, but a lot of them just watch tv all day and didnt really talk to each other, just lived in their own little worlds.

But even the wealthy needed something more than their assets and accumulated insurance to live on.
after several years of living it up they missed out on spiritual matters. They feared death and the unknown.

With believers, they were happy knowing they would go somewhere beyond this life. Unbelievers just got grumpy about it and counted their pennies. when they lost their hearing, eyesight and mobility they got grumpier about it, even when they had paid help. I was verbally abused by a resident and thought I never want to go back working for an ungrateful bunch of people.

Princesse · Feb 23, 2020

I am glad you’ve found a good community that meets your needs.

Long term care policies have changed a great deal. My uncle had one that provided private round the clock care in his home. He had to cover the first three months and then the insurance kicked in. My aunt told me policies like that are no longer being sold. Given the rising costs of elder care I’m not surprised.

It is very expensive as you’ve shared. When my grandmother reached the point of needing care beyond our ability we found a good facility. She’s paying out of pocket at $9K per month. She’s nearly 90 and requires more assistance.

Some say we’re heading for a crisis and won’t have enough people (family members) to meet the demand or the resources they need to cover their care. This is especially true for those suffering with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia.

I think you were wise to take steps sooner than later.

Adstar · Feb 23, 2020

Lon1934 said:

I am no where near rich enough to afford living where you are.. I hope the LORD ends my life before i get anywhere near your age or your physical condition.. But it is good to know you're in such a place where you can get the assistance you need to live a reasonable standard of life in your last years..

Lon1934 · Feb 23, 2020

Lanolin said:

Residents here where I live are different from one another. Some are believers and some are not. Assisted Living facilities vary as well.

Adstar said:

And you call your self a Christian? What a negative attitude. Hoping for the lord to end your life before you reach my age. I am very happy and content with my present age and I have had a rich and rewarding life getting here.

DesertWanderer · Feb 24, 2020

Adstar said:

This is another area where the church is failing miserably. Instead of paying pastors to send their kids to private schools, we can use our tithe to help senior adults have a better life.

Adstar · Feb 24, 2020

Lon1934 said:

Yes indeed i am a Christian and i hope the LORD ends my life this very day.. And i say that without a hint of any regret.. To be removed from this life is to be with the LORD and i long to be with the LORD and out of this corrupt world A.S.A.P ..

My comment never said anything about your personal experience of life if you where unhappy or not content.. I do not understadn why people snap like this over nothing.. And i even said that i was happy that you are in a nice place and being taken care of...

The tone of your reply was unjustified..

Lanolin · Feb 25, 2020

people'have different circumstances in life. The villages I worked in some were more 'high end' than others but a big corporation had bought one of them I worked at. Before they were bought out, that village was run by the residents themselves as they had founded it.
The newer ones being built have assisted living built in and hospital or care home attached, so they didnt need to move away to another place for more care.

I knew several residents who didnt even touch their own kitchens, they just ate out every night.
Kind of like living in a cruise ship, everything is done for you, even laundry.

it is good if you could afford it, so if this is your life enjoy it but also spare a thought for those less well off. Maybe invite them over every now and again.

presidente · Feb 25, 2020

My dad is 81 and spry and active. He called me and told me he was going to buy a house across from the one my older sister is building. That's maybe 40 minutes further away for me to drive. My sister and I never had that elder care discussion, but maybe she is just wanting to watch out for him. He was thinking of selling and moving to a small condo. This is a small house. If he were unable to care for himself, my wife and I would want to be there for him. We could try to figure out how he could live with us, etc.

My wife doesn't like the idea that a lot of people put their parents in an old folks home instead of staying with them over here in the US. But it can also be a parent's preference to live alone as long as they can, even when it doesn't make sense. in the old days, medical technology was limited, so staying with a child may have been the best option medically. Now, some of the care facilities can provide specialized medical care for the elderly if they have health issues.

When it comes to saving, that's something I'm struggling with. My wife has something that she believes the Lord has called her to do that costs money that is sort of ministry-related. I'm in my 40's, thinking about saving. On the one hand, there is stuff in the Old Testament about storing up an inheritance. On the other, Jesus said to lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth, but to lay up treasures in heaven. He said to take no thought for the morrow. The one man in a parable who stored up his crops and decided to enjoy his life was called a fool and God required his life of him.

If you had a whole community not saving up that really provided for the elderly, that would make sense. Paul did not want to put a widow on the list if she had children or grandchildren to care for them. So keeping it in the family makes sense.

Lanolin · Feb 26, 2020

we have kiwisaver scheme in NZ now. You can access it when you turn 65. Your employer is meant to match you dollar for dollar whatever you contribute from your pay and the govt will invest it for you.

I dont know if they make a heap of money doing so as well.

Over 65s currently have the pension, but its not enough to live on for some people. Depending on their lifestyle maybe, Thats why so many downsize their homes, cos they are empty nesters. But they miss out on grandchildren.

In the Bible its grandchildren who are the inheritance, not money.

Lanolin · Feb 26, 2020

you can also do a reverse mortgage if you want to stay in your own home.
and I think theres a way to get a fixed income from that.

Princesse · Feb 27, 2020

The spike in nursing care is largely due to medical issues like dementia and Alzheimer’s. Depending on the stage they’re in, it can be difficult to keep them at home. The elderly are subject to injury and need accommodations which most homes don’t contain.

Many work until retirement age (or longer). Leaving an older parent alone may be unsafe. And we’re living longer. That plays a part in this.

kaylagrl · Feb 27, 2020

Lon1934 said:

LIVING IN ASSISTED LIVING -- A RESIDENTS PERSPECTIVE by Lon Tanner
Prologue--

Preparing For Assisted Living—

If you are now in your 50’s /60’s you stand a excellent chance of requiring some kind of Assisted Living in your later years. Why take the chance of having to sell your home and liquidate your assets and income.
The best thing you could do would be to buy a Long Term Care Policy through your employer if available, or independently on your own. Having such insurance will help preserve your assets and income. Such insurance is expensive, but considerably less so if purchased in your 50’s & 60’s.

My Moving Here--

Since my moving into the Oakmont Assisted Living/Memory Care/Alzheimer’s facility two years ago I have had to go through a substantial learning experience. I made the arrangement my self instead of everything being decided on by a CARE TAKER/Friend/Family Member which is the usual scenario. I live in a very comfortable one bedroom/one bath/living room/kitchenette apartment on the second floor of a two floor facility. I am fortunate to have retained some degree of computer and technology experience which has made my life easier and more comfortable and will be discussed in another Blog
Health/Mobility

Like most of the residents, I am living here because of health issues that create symptoms requiring some degree of assistance. Many of the residents have some degree of hearing loss and wear one or more hearing aids My hearing loss is severe and makes certain social interaction difficult if not impossible.I cannot hear music and sorely miss it. Two of my medical conditions make it necessary to use a walker. A cane would be nice but balance difficulty requires a walker. Many of the residents use walkers and some wheel chairs, electrical and mechanical. I some times think we could use a traffic cop to direct walker and wheel chair movement in hallways and elevator. I am envious of some of the 90 year olds that are very mobile.
I voluntarialy gave up driving the year prior to moving here due to Peripheral Neuropathy affecting my legs. I started using Uber for my appointments until discovering that my AL facility could take me to scheduled appointments.

Paying for Assisted Living-

-Living here is expensive and my monthly costs are in excess of $6,000 per month.Fortunately, my Long Term Care Insurance Policy and monthly income is more than sufficient to pay ALL my monthly living costs. Some residents have had to liquidate their assets or have family members pay.
A resident could very well outlive all their assets.

Meals and Dining at Assisted Living

The Main Dining Room is comfortable and nicely decorated. Menus are on each table for each days three meal offerings. Any of the meals can be delivered to a resident's apartment for what is called Tray Service. The charge is $ 5.00.

As a Change of Pace I will occasionally order a meal using my I Phone to contact Grubhub and have a meal delivered from a local Ethnic eatery or microwave a very good Marie Calendar meal.
I order certain food and snack items from a market to keep in my fridge using my laptop. These items are delivered right to my apartment. These items include certain wines that I love and enjoy.

Apartment Kitchenettes have a Microwave / Fridge/Freezer but are not designed for heavy meal
preparation.

SHRIMP FETUCCINI

Excuse me here, but what has this to do with Christian charity? Twice now that I have seen you've mentioned that you eat well and are in a nice place. We're happy for you. Is the reason you're here about promoting where you're living or did I miss a point here?

mailmandan · Feb 27, 2020

Someone once told me to build up your nest egg before you retire and have it all spent just before you go into the nursing home. That way they can't bleed you dry before insurance kicks in.

Princesse · Feb 27, 2020

mailmandan said:

It isn’t as simple as it sounds. You need to submit financial records. I don’t recall if the facility or Medicare requires it. But they ‘ll ask about your assets. Better homes require payment and Medicare kicks in when its gone. The standard of care is world’s apart. I wouldn’t skimp on provision for a loved one or myself. Some places are very bad.

Lanolin · Feb 27, 2020

if its a newer place it seems ok but as places get older maintainence can be harder..in many retirement homes or villages, there is only one or two full time maintenance staff for between 200-400 people living there.

everything else is contracted in, but many wont pay good terms for contractors OR they fleece the retirement villages, a lot of that goes on sad to say. That puts a lot of pressure on the maintainance people to respond to every single complaint the residents have.

the owners of retirment villages, some of them bring new managers in that had hotel experience, but then they charge residents through the roof. what they do is hope people will buy in and only live for a number of years and then sell up again.,,thats where they make their money. The money doesnt go to that persons family it goes straight to the CEO. They can make billions. It is criminal when you really think about it.

7seasrekeyed · Feb 28, 2020

kaylagrl said:

exactly what I thought

where does he think charitable ideas come from?

Princesse · Feb 28, 2020

I think the OP is reiterating the necessity of planning and putting things in place before health or circumstances force the issue. And firsthand accounts are always best. Many are uncomfortable placing loved ones in other’s care long-term.

The disparity in care for better facilities and those dependent on government payment is grievous. It’s evident in upkeep, meals, environment, and staff.

He’s saying not to expect others to do this or that. Put your affairs in order so your latter days are comfortable and peaceful.

Lon1934 · Feb 28, 2020

kaylagrl said:

I am not promoting where I live. I am trying to promote self sufficiency and not relying on Christian charity to take care of our senior plus years.

Advice From A Octogenarian---Don't Depend On Christian Charity In Your Old Age

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