The fundamental error of free-willer theology is that it denies the extent of the radical corruption (total depravity) of the unsaved man, imputing to him an autonomous (libertarian), uncorrupted free-will that he does not possess, and a result, the narrative of Scripture makes no sense in their worldview.
The fallen man, along with his fallen will, is in bondage to sin, Satan, their flesh, and this world, being deceived by Satan and their own fallen sinful nature, and dead in Adam as a result of natural birth. He must be freed by God, and made alive again, being raised from spiritual death, through a change of nature called regeneration (being "born again" or "born from above"), before he can exercise faith and repentance.
Regeneration is a spiritual rebirth that places him from being dead "in Adam" to being alive "in Christ". This rebirth is a radical transformation of the person and his nature, going from spiritual death to spiritual life, which is likened to a heart transplant, giving him a heart of flesh to replace his heart of stone, from which the spiritual gifts of faith and repentance can be exercised.
A heart of stone cannot produce the spiritual fruits of faith and repentance; in fact, the word "repentance" means a change in mind, which is exactly what regeneration does. Regeneration is not a subsequent event following faith and repentance, but precedes faith and repentance, making them possible. The spiritually dead man is regenerated, and is raised from spiritual death, stepping forward out of his spiritual tomb. Faith and repentance follows as a result.
The free-willer view of decisional regeneration is a man-centered view of salvation that claims a heart of stone can produce faith and repentance from its own resources, in order to, receive new life and a heart of flesh.
Free-willers commonly deny that saving faith and repentance are spiritual gifts, and instead claim that faith and repentance are man's contribution to salvation. So, by necessity, there is a denial of the extent of the radical corruption which has occurred at the Fall, since this contribution must be made by an unregenerate man.
Free-willer theology is the common understanding of salvation possessed by most evangelical Christians of the last 200 years, so it is likely the view of your pastor, whether he understands the presuppositions or not.
What does Scripture say on this issue?
I suggest the following :
First, read Ephesians 2:1-10 ; it is the most concise, yet comprehensive, explanation of salvation in Scripture. Does my explanation align with it, or does the free-willer view correlate with it?
Second, read the book of Romans carefully and prayerfully, possibly with a good commentary or study Bible. I favor the Zondervan NIV Biblical Theology Study Bible edited by DA Carson. Ask yourself; whose view does Paul portray?
Third, I suggest reviewing these Scriptures to prove the accuracy of the Reformed conviction on the unsaved man's condition of radical corruption: Deu 29:4, 30:6, Eze 11:18-20, 36:25-27, Jer 17:9, 31:33-34, Jn 3:1-8, 19, 5:24-25, 8:34, 43-44, Acts 26:16-18, Rom 1:28-32, 3:10-18, 5:10, 6:6, 20-23, 8:5-9, 1 Cor 2:10-16, 2 Cor 3:3, 4:3-4, Eph 2:1-10, 4:17-18, 5:5-11, Phil 1:29, Col 1:13-14, 21-23, 2:13, Heb 8:10-12, 2 Pet 1:1, 1 John 3:8-10, 5:1, and Rev 12:9. Compare these Scriptures with my explanation. What impression do you get concerning the state of the fallen man, and the new birth?
Fourth, read the book Five Points of Calvinism by David Steele. This is an older, classical defense of Reformed theology and probably the best one I've seen.
Fifth, read the whole Bible. Israel was a type of the individual believer. Read the Exodus account of their deliverance from Egypt. What does it tell you about God, and how he works in salvation? Think about God's sovereignty as you read, and how he does all things for his glory. Read Isaiah 40-55. Does this portray the weak, pathetic, man-like god that some free-willers such as open theists and process theology guys portray? In their efforts to explain away God's sovereignty in salvation, they have reduced God to nothing more than a glorified man-like being who doesn't even know the future in detail. Sickening.
Sixth, evaluate carefully the claims by free-willers that Scripture doesn't really mean what it says, and their attempts to explain away the Scriptures regarding man's radical corruption as figurative language. Some of the language is figurative, but figures point to a reality, and the reality is that man is spiritually dead and unable to help himself. Such individuals are attempting to soften the impact of man's condition under the Fall, and in so doing, they are minimizing the need for grace and the powerful working of regeneration through the Holy Spirit to exercise faith and repentance. We must first acknowledge honestly man's condition before a holy and righteous God, before we can fully understand our need for grace and the great deliverance which has occurred through salvation. Unfortunately, this sort of avoidance is the norm within evangelical Christianity, and not the exception. Their free-willer message appeals to the masses, but it is not a biblical one.