Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?

A certain type of wedding is very expensive. It also depends on family help in it. Some people don't have much family or the family can't afford it.

I don't agree with living together before marriage. However my brother in law lived with his wife first. They were just out of college and her dad was abusive. So in a certain way I understood. Also the church they went to refused to marry them bc they were living together... That was wrong! They were stuck in sin then so what sense does that make.

Yea i dont understand either.
In the Bible the reason given for a man to leave his mother and father and shall cleave to his wife and be one flesh. By marrying you just make it offical you are together.

So when a man leaves his parents and just live together with a woman without marrying, what do they call each other oh just this girl im living with? my room mate? My 'partner'. If you one flesh whats wrong with calling her your wife, because that is what she is. What an insult to your wife, to say she isnt your wife and you arent together or married but just someone you living with. You might as well say shes yor sister. Which abraham did to sarah, he denied that she was his wife....but got in trouble when he lied about that!

There is nothing wrong with a young woman, never married to dream of her wedding. I say, yes, let her be the center of attention for one day. Traditionally, the music played is "Here comes the bride..." as she walks up the aisle in her wedding dress. It is not "Here comes the groom". That's just the way that it is. I think that it would be selfish on the groom's part to deny his future bride her big day.

Exactly. There's nothing wrong with a big wedding. I would love a glorious one Just a thought: Weddings in early Jewish traditions had extensive weddings...lasting for a week or 2...aparently, Mary was supposed to be engaged to Joseph for a year until they actually got married by ceremony...at least that's what I heard. I think weddings should be taken seriously with the venue, the guests, the food...everything. Why not? Once you're in the will of what the Lord wants for you, I'm sure He'll love the bride to enjoy herself on her big day. Whatever makes her happy, I guess.

Just you have to make sure it's necessary for both the bride and groom...you don't want to pile up debts and pay them off later in marriage which does put on a strain. Anyway, it depends on how much you're willing to spend...it requires wisdom. Not just spending so much money for a massive celebration then end up drowning in debt.

I've always wanted a big event...mostly for the people that have rooted for me.

I see it as an event for others not really for myself or my bride. I see it kind of like baptism. Something to be celebrated and shared in.


The image I have in mind though doesn't really have to cost much. I've recently been apart of a fly by night wedding and it cost maybe $100 (just for the food) and it was a mini church service and very touching.

A friend of mine just did the legal route and we had a party afterward with maybe $40 of food and an intimate meal.

They don't have to cost much. Mostly for me it would just be the testimony and letting others share in a little bit of our oneness and not being "too" selfish about it


If people want to share in the day with you...it doesn't seem unreasonable to ask them to bring a dish and have a potluck of sorts. It's a weird concept but what if it was their day and not our day.

Are you getting married? When?
Are we invited?
How many guests and whos paying for it all? Your parents or yourselves.

Well no...I'm not getting married quite yet. I have to find another participant that's the main hang up

but yes, having the idea in mind it'd be me paying for things unless people want to donate also. It'd be really up to them. My parents don't really have anything to give for stuff like that.


And randoms would be welcome ofc, within reason.

I dont recall ever having to pay to attend a wedding.
Of course, it might cost something to dress up and give a wedding gift, but have never ever had to pay for food as a guest.