I've always wanted a big event...mostly for the people that have rooted for me.
I see it as an event for others not really for myself or my bride. I see it kind of like baptism. Something to be celebrated and shared in.
The image I have in mind though doesn't really have to cost much. I've recently been apart of a fly by night wedding and it cost maybe $100 (just for the food) and it was a mini church service and very touching.
A friend of mine just did the legal route and we had a party afterward with maybe $40 of food and an intimate meal.
They don't have to cost much. Mostly for me it would just be the testimony and letting others share in a little bit of our oneness and not being "too" selfish about it
If people want to share in the day with you...it doesn't seem unreasonable to ask them to bring a dish and have a potluck of sorts. It's a weird concept but what if it was their day and not our day.