First of all, Happy Birthday Zan! We hope you have a wonderful day.
I've always wondered what exactly makes a person an adult or a grown-up.
Do other people who don't have kids (or haven't raised them) feel like they are somehow... Not quite an adult? That's how I feel.
A long time ago, I had a lengthy relationship with an alcoholic who had kids. I remember things like when I would stop over at their house and the kids would come running to me because their Grandma was asleep, their Dad was passed out with a bottle in his hand, and he had neglected to feed them.
Or the time we took them to a family farm before Halloween. Normally, I would be the one clinging to someone else in a haunted house, but I was carrying the youngest and he was holding tight to me, so I had to keep telling myself, "Don't flinch, don't flinch, be brave, don't react to anything in fear, set a good example..."
And when it started to pour down rain in sheets on the hayride, my little guy was shivering, so I took off my jacket, wrapped it around him, and started rubbing his arms and legs until he stopped shivering.
I remember thinking in that moment, "Is this what it means to be an adult? To have that parental instinct kick in, and not care what happens to you, whether it's getting pneumonia or whatever happens, just as long as this person you've been entrusted with is ok?"
I used to think as well that tough times made a person more grown-up, but now I'd have to disagree, because I worked with a lot of people whose tough times made them grab on first and hard to anything that came their way, making sure there wasn't anything left for anyone else. (I'm certainly not saying this happens in all cases, of course--it was something I just noticed in some people.)
Personally, I think there are two hallmarks that make someone an adult, and that can be at varying ages: 1. responsibility, and 2. the willingness to sacrifice one's comfort, well-being, and happiness for another person.
Even for those of us who don't have the chance to do this with kids, it's likely that a time will come in our lives in which we have to make sacrifices for and take on the responsibilities of caring for others like aging parents, and I wonder if that's when God would say that we have finally grown up.