Scientists say you don’t grow up until your 30s

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M

Miri

Guest
#1
#1
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47622059


This begs the question, at what age do
you think you became a grown up,
Or at what age do you expect to be a grown up.

Just for the record you can marry in the UK at 18, legally drink alcohol outside the home at 18. Drive at 18.

But you can leave home and get a job at 16.

If brains don’t fully develope until around 30, then it explains a lot!
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#2
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,691
113
#2
I’m 35, and I don’t feel like a grown up lol
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#3
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
2,720
113
Georgia
#3
I'm also 35 and have to remind myself I'm a grown up more times than I'd like to admit.
 
S

Stranger36147

Guest
#4
#4
At 31, do I consider myself an adult? Physically, yes. But mentally....that's another story.
 
Z

Zan

Member
#5
Mar 15, 2019
57
73
18
#5
Today is my birthday, I'm 37 now. I still feel like I have some growing up to do in some regards.
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#6
Jul 24, 2016
7,581
3,616
113
#6
Miri said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47622059


This begs the question, at what age do
you think you became a grown up,
Or at what age do you expect to be a grown up.

Just for the record you can marry in the UK at 18, legally drink alcohol outside the home at 18. Drive at 18.

But you can leave home and get a job at 16.

If brains don’t fully develope until around 30, then it explains a lot!
Click to expand...
It depends on the environment a person is born into.. If you are born into hard times adulthood will be thrust upon you at an early age and you will be forced to grow up quick..

The western world has been for the last two generations a very easy world to live in which along with feminism has lead to people extending their teenage years right through their 20's.. Some people are walking around in their early 30's and they are still juvenile..
 
Z

Zan

Member
#9
Mar 15, 2019
57
73
18
#9
Thank you. Just gonna try to relax today, stomach is kind of upset.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#12
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#12
Miri said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47622059


This begs the question, at what age do
you think you became a grown up,
Or at what age do you expect to be a grown up.

Just for the record you can marry in the UK at 18, legally drink alcohol outside the home at 18. Drive at 18.

But you can leave home and get a job at 16.

If brains don’t fully develope until around 30, then it explains a lot!
Click to expand...
Two thoughts:

1) Is it all human brains that don't fully develop until 30 or only modern human brains? Is there any connection between cultural expectations / environment and the rate or sequence of development of people's brains (ie do certain parts of nomads brains develop first but in city dwellers it's a different part of the brain developing first (or 3rd or 4th which is probably a more likely scenario)?

2) How much of our ability to be a responsible, functional adult is based on the physical / neurological development of our brains? For example, my mother says that I was more organized in grade school than many adults ever are, certainly a natural talent for organization can be a powerful ally to remembering and meeting obligations but does that mean I was more adult at 7 or 10 than many adults? On the flip side, there seems to be this thing called emotional intelligence that I don't really understand, but am pretty sure I rate lower on the scale in my natural abilities. If most adults are more emotionally intelligent than me, does that mean that I'm somehow less mature or adult than they are?

There's one other possibility I'd like to consider (I realize this means I had a third thought after saying 2 thoughts) and that might be that the adult brain or the fully developed brain, is a brain less able to adapt and respond to change and learn new things. If so then adulthood would be when we're more set in our personalities and abilities and have to work harder to adapt to changes, but again I think that would have to be a very specific more or less since some people at their most adaptable aren't as adaptable as some people at their least adaptable.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#14
#14
Adstar said:
It depends on the environment a person is born into.. If you are born into hard times adulthood will be thrust upon you at an early age and you will be forced to grow up quick..

The western world has been for the last two generations a very easy world to live in which along with feminism has lead to people extending their teenage years right through their 20's.. Some people are walking around in their early 30's and they are still juvenile..
Click to expand...
Not necessarily and it depends what
you mean by a hard life.

I was fostered by my aunt from 3 weeks old. Lots of issues difficult child hood etc. I probably was more grown up in some respects than my peers but in others I wasn’t.

I think for me I didn’t really start to think as an adult properly until around late 20s early 30. Children can act and talk like grown ups but it doesn’t follow they have the same mental capacity for problem solving, awareness of responsibility not only to themselves and family but a wider social responsibility and mental stability etc as a grown up does.

Children, teens, young people do sometimes pick up on an issue. Like save the trees, recycling, save the whale, feed the hungry, down with the president, etc etc. But it’s often down to peer pressure or listening to a persuasive personality who they admire. It’s why students often get into things. But ask them to really sit down and think it through and why they chose that above everything else going on. Most would be hard pressed to really think it through other than the standard things others have told them.

Then once they do actually reach adult hood, the thing they campaigned passionately about suddenly evaporates from their mind.

Many do things either in a right way because it’s expected of them and they learn at an early age that doing the right thing brings approval and they want approval.

Or they rebel and do the wrong thing because they too want approval from a rebellious source - boyfriend, girlfriend peers, etc or in a perverse way they are doing it to seek attention.

But in my opinion the mark of a grown up is you do things not to seek approval from others. But because you are grown up enough do to the right thing without needing attention, approval, affirmation etc.
 
Aephus

Aephus

Member
#17
Jun 14, 2016
196
143
43
#17
I’ve always felt 30 would be one of the best years of my life.
I still don’t feel completely adult. I’m not sure I ever will. But that’s okay :)
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#19
#19
I am 29 and therefore still a child. :p


This might seem silly but I have not been water baptized as an adult. I did it at like 5 months old...but that was in the Catholic Church. :p
I have been waiting to turn 30 since Jesus also did it at 30. I just think it would be cool to be the same age he was. Now I needz to find a church that does water baptisms....or maybe my cousin can do it! :unsure:;)
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#20
May 23, 2009
16,431
5,376
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#20
First of all, Happy Birthday Zan! We hope you have a wonderful day. :)


I've always wondered what exactly makes a person an adult or a grown-up.

Do other people who don't have kids (or haven't raised them) feel like they are somehow... Not quite an adult? That's how I feel.

A long time ago, I had a lengthy relationship with an alcoholic who had kids. I remember things like when I would stop over at their house and the kids would come running to me because their Grandma was asleep, their Dad was passed out with a bottle in his hand, and he had neglected to feed them.

Or the time we took them to a family farm before Halloween. Normally, I would be the one clinging to someone else in a haunted house, but I was carrying the youngest and he was holding tight to me, so I had to keep telling myself, "Don't flinch, don't flinch, be brave, don't react to anything in fear, set a good example..."

And when it started to pour down rain in sheets on the hayride, my little guy was shivering, so I took off my jacket, wrapped it around him, and started rubbing his arms and legs until he stopped shivering.

I remember thinking in that moment, "Is this what it means to be an adult? To have that parental instinct kick in, and not care what happens to you, whether it's getting pneumonia or whatever happens, just as long as this person you've been entrusted with is ok?"

I used to think as well that tough times made a person more grown-up, but now I'd have to disagree, because I worked with a lot of people whose tough times made them grab on first and hard to anything that came their way, making sure there wasn't anything left for anyone else. (I'm certainly not saying this happens in all cases, of course--it was something I just noticed in some people.)

Personally, I think there are two hallmarks that make someone an adult, and that can be at varying ages: 1. responsibility, and 2. the willingness to sacrifice one's comfort, well-being, and happiness for another person.

Even for those of us who don't have the chance to do this with kids, it's likely that a time will come in our lives in which we have to make sacrifices for and take on the responsibilities of caring for others like aging parents, and I wonder if that's when God would say that we have finally grown up.
 
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