Single and Saved!

"Wild at heart" by John Eldredge is a good book to learn about men. God bless!

This is gonna be a weird question...
To the guys out there; When you like a girl, do you fall in love with her personality or is it sex based? Do you think about the girl you like during the day? Do you want to know her thoughts? Do you like her as a person or is it just a physical thing? (Not sure if men have these soft feelings as well.)

"Wild at heart" by John Eldredge is a good book to learn about men. God bless!

I'd say it's really going to vary between each man.
But i think the biggest thing is not how they are early on, but how are they later on. Most people will be in that lovey dovey stage the first six months or so. It means very little. If after a year is he still just as much in love? That's what really tells you anything of value.
Speaking for myself i tend to attach strongly, even in weaker relationships. And in good relationships i will definitely be thinking about her throughout the day, even a year later. Personality is a Huge part.
Ones interest whose sole focus is sex isn't in love to begin with. And i don't mean someone who struggles and is actually Trying to do right, but rather those that make it clear they want on thing. That's lust and love has nothing to do with it.
Love Requires more depth by it's very nature. Shallowness and selfishness are in opposition to love.

Up to a point. But that books attempts to speak for millions of men and that's simply not possible. You could use it as a general guideline but if you really want to know Talk to Actual Men. You'll learn more that way than some book written by one man who wrote it to make him money.

This is great to know that men have a softer side. Really helping to see how having them as God given partners is possible. Here's another question. I always got the impression that guys don't find girls interesting. Like when I'm talking to a male coworker or acquaintance he doesn't seem too interested in what I'm saying. (Now I realize the issue may be I am not interesting haha) Do guys enjoy a conversation with a woman in general?

As in all things with people, it comes down to the individual. And some factors aren't even gender based, such as whether one is an introvert or an extrovert.
But there are men who do enjoy conversations with women. I'd say most do. I actually get along better with women and therefore mostly have female friends.

Why this particular guy doesn't talk with you? Maybe your body language sends out funny signals? Maybe he's shy. Or an introvert and only prefers chatting with people he's comfortable with. Or a million other things that may or may not have anything to do with gender.

Men are just people. Men, in general, compartmentalize better, thus making them less prone to emotional reactions. But some men can be pretty emotional. Other men can be cold. See, just like women haha.
Men excel at one thing at a time (this includes conversational topics), women excel at multitasking.
Men can be more direct in conversation, women tend to use hints and signals.

Things like that are some of the more common differences, but again, it won't apply 100% of the time. So when talking with a man, try to stay on a topic for a bit before switching, because men will get lost if you start bouncing around (i've experienced this many times ), say what you have to say, don't hope he'll figure out your cryptic messages or for him to 'just know'.
I'd say go in with loose expectations of what is normal for men, but stay open enough to see which guys deviate from those expectations. It can be pretty fun learning people like that and being surprised by things you don't expect.

Good to know that most men do enjoy a conversation with a woman. Maybe it's my conversation skills
I find women enjoy a conversation with me more. Well, I guess that will help me know when I find the one. He enjoys a conversation with me lol.

"Men are just people." When I read that I had to laugh at my self a little. I didn't realize that for some reason before you said it. Like I knew they were people and not something else, but I had never really thought about it before. They are human, just like women.

So it's safe to say that men are not afraid of frankness rather than sugar coating?

I am excited to get to know the make gender. Just even in a friendly manner. Uncharted territory for me.

Nah, i wouldn't assume you're the problem. We're chatting just fine, so it's not you.
Due to your past that may also affect your interactions with either gender. Or even how you're perceived as there's likely some residuals. I mean look at how mystified you are about men But, over time that will likely change as you continue growing.
Good conversation is always important. That can be where some of the best memories are made.

I could tell by your line of questioning you had quite a distance between men and women. Your questions were almost making me laugh because you were like someone at the zoo learning about new animals That's why i reminded you we're people too.

And yes, men tend to prefer someone that says what they mean as they themselves are that way. And men are wired that way, which is why men are not good at picking up womens hints. Our brains are literally not wired to communicate that way and we can't fully adapt. This is why women are encouraged to speak more clearly and directly, rather than men learning how to read the signs.

Well, it'll be a roller coaster experience. You'll meet some great guys and some total losers and everything in between. Just remember to make observations about men in general and judgments about the individual, not the other way around.
I'm usually on and off the site randomly so if you're ever bored say hi.
Also as a heads up, i don't view myself as falling into many of the male stereotypes that traditionally define masculinity. So that's fun

Ok, it's good to know I can hold a mans attention in a conversation.
Yes, it could be how I am perceived. I look ALOT different than I did but I'm not the typical girl in the sense of a stereotype when it comes to my attitude and some mannerisms. You are so right hahaha I am mystified. I feel like I just noticed they exist, so I would agree there was quite a distance between men and women for me. It's funny how you say my questions were like someone at a zoo. I was driving home from work a couple of weeks ago and I was thinking about all this change I'm going through and I was like "I feel like I'm a 14 year old just starting to notice boys. It's like I was reborn as my original self." Then the thought kind of shocked me because I was reborn. It was not a metaphorical thought but very literal. I love moments like that.

I'm half Italian. We tend to enjoy being direct so at least that won't be a problem.

Great advice here "make observations about men in general and judgments about the individual, not the other way around." I have to be careful not to generalize if i meet 3 shady charterers in a row.

I'm noticing a lot of guys saying that they are not the standard male stereotype. This is actually kind of encouraging that there are other people that fall into this category and its nice to know men have, for lack of better words, come in all kinds. (You know, you hear comics say "men!" and you assume they are all the same. Yes, it seems I'm getting most of my "man knowledge" from TV...)

Thanks for the invite to talk anytime. Will do. You can shoot me a msg if you like too. I like sci-fi and the Simpsons and ps4. Yup, that's me!

Well i do not know how woman fall in love... So i cannot say..

Oh yeah, haha. I guess.

This is gonna be a weird question...
To the guys out there; When you like a girl, do you fall in love with her personality or is it sex based? Do you think about the girl you like during the day? Do you want to know her thoughts? Do you like her as a person or is it just a physical thing? (Not sure if men have these soft feelings as well.)

This is great to know that men have a softer side. Really helping to see how having them as God given partners is possible. Here's another question. I always got the impression that guys don't find girls interesting. Like when I'm talking to a male coworker or acquaintance he doesn't seem too interested in what I'm saying. (Now I realize the issue may be I am not interesting haha) Do guys enjoy a conversation with a woman in general?

It could very well be that many of the traditional stereotypes don't hold as true as they once did. The hypermasculine isn't the standard anymore, as the whole 'cool to be geek' thing took place. And social media allowing people who are normally less vocal to more easily speak up, so there's a shift in the definition. But growing up during the machismo concept i find it hard to see it differently.
People who are outside the norm tend to make me curious. I tend to get focused on knowing about a person rather than knowing the person. So reading you say that my first instinct is to fire off questions But i'll not do that. Sometimes people are more 'normal' than they realize so it's always fun to find out.

Ha! I was 14 when i got saved
I get what you mean though. Sometimes it takes a little while for our brain to catch up on changes and when it happens everything seems as if it changed all at once, even though it was actually much more gradual.

I've seen quite a few people who had a few bad relationships or friendships with the opposite sex and suddenly the other sex is, as a whole, the problem. People get bitter and only see those that wronged them and can't seem to accept that not all of that gender are the same. I've seen it from both men and women. I've certainly had a healthy dose of bad treatment, both in friendship and romance, with women but i try to keep the blame on that person rather than on women as a whole. So it pays to keep balanced.

If you mean on here it's not surprising. Social media tends to draw more of the 'beta males' into socialization, and they (we) don't fit the traditional male stereotypes usually. Also it seems religion in general tends to attract more as well, at least at the pew level.

Hey, i didn't realize until my late teens i had applied a lot of tv mentality to real life and was referencing tv to figure out how to act in certain situations. It took me nearly a decade to really get past it.

I don't have the ability to initiate messages, only reply. You have to be a subscriber for that service and i'm not a subscriber.
Scifi... good. Simpsons... ps4... i'm horrible at consoles. And games in general. So i play a Very limited number of games. =P

I think a lot of guys are also in a similar boat to me where they grew up without a father around most of their life, or didn’t have a lot of male role models. I often feel a bit non traditional myself. I’ve gotten more into things like sports recently, so it is easier to relate to most guys.

I used to find it easier to talk to women than other guys. Nowadays that almost seems flipped. In part because I am a “good listener” and can find myself in the trap of listening to endless griping or gossiping if I don’t try to set boundaries.

As far as not talking to women in person, in my case it’s generally been not knowing what to talk about or other shyness. If I am attracted, my brian sometimes doesn’t fully function mid conversation. Sometimes I just pick up a vibe that the woman isn’t interested. That could be shyness on her end, but I don’t want to press if she seems uninterested.

Maybe i need to start a discussion like you are and ask woman stuff..

But the real question is would the answers be based on the truth or based on what they think the socially acceptable answers are?

Or maybe they would go rogue just to keep guys confused and guessing..

Maybe it's best to remain in blissful ignorance

oh my goodness yes. it's so much more then physical.

I enjoy conversations with women, but I've always liked some stuff that women like, so I always found them interesting. It's probably because of my artistic side. I even used to watch makeup videos on youtube.

I am quite sure that most men are not interested in the things women like to talk about.. just like how most women aren't interested in stuff that guys like to talk about.. So it's probably not because you're not interesting. In fact, you come across as very interesting to me with all these deep, insightful questions.