Husband would rather masturbate than have sex with me

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shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#121
Dec 16, 2016
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#121
I believe your veiled anger is peeking through in your posts.
It isn't something a Christian should post, at least not the way she did, but then, she is a woman, women get mad at people, men get mad at things. If a man does something wrong another man will notice the act and not take it out on the person, it is the act that needs change.
If a woman gets mad at something a person does, the woman will be mad at the person for having done it, rather than the act.
These are tendencies of course.
If there are any men here who aren't whipped they will chime in.
blessings
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#122
Dec 16, 2016
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#122
This is from mark Gungor who has a great couples ministry, just 5 minutes, hope you enjoy.

blessings
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#123
Feb 21, 2014
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#123
shittim said:
I believe your veiled anger is peeking through in your posts.
It isn't something a Christian should post, at least not the way she did, but then, she is a woman, women get mad at people, men get mad at things. If a man does something wrong another man will notice the act and not take it out on the person, it is the act that needs change.
If a woman gets mad at something a person does, the woman will be mad at the person for having done it, rather than the act.
These are tendencies of course.
If there are any men here who aren't whipped they will chime in.
blessings
Click to expand...
I'm not mad at all. :) Just wondering why you seem to keep blaming the wife. The husband is the one with the sex problem. He has an addiction, or did 4 years ago. It's not the wife's fault that he's a porn addict. Either he had it when he married her, or he hid it from her until she found out on her own.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#124
Feb 21, 2014
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#124
If my man preferred boinking himself instead of me, I'd be mad too. However I think the wife is more frustrated and confused, rather than angry.

Don't matter now anyway. This all happened 4 years ago.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#125
Dec 16, 2016
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#125
not blaming here.
People tend to project on others the way they feel about themselves, since you keep posting stuff like "Just wondering why you seem to keep blaming the wife. The husband is the one with the sex problem" when none here even know if the post has any truth to it at all, it might all be bogus.
We are ALL to look at life through the lens of the Father, not ourselves, THAT is how we will do His Will on earth.
blessings
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#126
Feb 21, 2014
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#126
Why would she post such an intimate subject if it were bogus? That makes no sense. We're to look at people, as if they are telling the truth, and be able to discern. We can't really do that online.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#127
Dec 16, 2016
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#127
You can if you understand that to discern requires relationship and time spent with the Father in Jesus Name. too often what we call "discerning" is actually reading for visual clues, that is not discernment.
Why would anyone lie or tell a bogus story? Happens all the time in a sin filled world.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#128
Feb 21, 2014
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#128
And sometimes people actually tell the truth. And have serious addictions which alienate their loved ones.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#129
Dec 16, 2016
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#129
and sometimes people speculate on the internet when they should be in fellowship with the Father with every thought, word, and deed, as the Bible instructs us.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#130
Feb 21, 2014
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#130
shittim said:
and sometimes people speculate on the internet when they should be in fellowship with the Father with every thought, word, and deed, as the Bible instructs us.
Click to expand...
We are. :)

So, are we supposed to shun those who come asking for advice?
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#131
Dec 16, 2016
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#131
What does Jesus tell you to do?
We are ALL supposed to be in relationship with Jesus.
If you ask Him first you "advice" will be His. We ALL should know this by now.
He requires FIRST place in our lives.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#132
Dec 16, 2016
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#132
The door swings both ways, very seldom is a "marriage problem" only one persons fault. You accuse of blaming her while you are blaming him.
The wo,am always blames the man, the man seldom if ever blames the woman.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#133
Feb 21, 2014
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#133
shittim said:
The door swings both ways, very seldom is a "marriage problem" only one persons fault. You accuse of blaming her while you are blaming him.
The wo,am always blames the man, the man seldom if ever blames the woman.
Click to expand...

That's because this particular guy IS THE ONE WITH THE SEX ADDICTION.. SHE wasn't addicted to sex. She tried and tried to get him to have sex with HER, and not HIMSELF. And YOU are the one who said, "something happened and she knows what, if she's honest with herself".

So YOU pretty much blamed her. It wasn't me. I don't even blame HIM. He had an addiction. You can't help someone who has an addiction.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#134
Dec 16, 2016
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#134
You are not a dr. Blue, you are not able to give a diagnosis, indeed even a physician is not capable of making a diagnosis
WITHOUT SEEING THE PATIENT!
 
Lafftur

Lafftur

Senior Member
#135
Apr 18, 2017
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#135
So.........@shittim and @Blue-ladybug,

I've been reading every word of your posts and every single post on this thread because the Original Poster of this thread basically described my marriage for the last 23 years and described my pain. We can play the "blame game" but, it doesn't fix anything it hinders progress and healing.

It is best to diagnose the problem correctly and then search for solutions.

Ironically, out of my pain and sadness I learned to laugh. Perhaps I will hijack this thread and carry on where the OP left off.........................

 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#136
Feb 21, 2014
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#136
Well, responding to the OP is fruitless. This is a 4 year old thread and she's not here anymore.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#137
Feb 21, 2014
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#137
shittim said:
You are not a dr. Blue, you are not able to give a diagnosis, indeed even a physician is not capable of making a diagnosis
WITHOUT SEEING THE PATIENT!
Click to expand...
I NEVER SAID that I'm a doctor. But the OP DID ask for advice. So myself and others here gave advice. The FACT is, HE WAS the one with the addiction.
 
Lafftur

Lafftur

Senior Member
#138
Apr 18, 2017
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#138
blue_ladybug said:
Well, responding to the OP is fruitless. This is a 4 year old thread and she's not here anymore.
Click to expand...
Very well, then. I am well acquainted with her situation. I will carry on in her stead. Let's walk through this problem and perhaps help A LOT of people and marriages!! :love:(y)

We might even learn to laugh a long the way........:giggle:
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#139
Feb 21, 2014
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#139
I'll leave you to it then. I don't know how to deal with people who have an addiction to sex. Or any addiction for that matter.
 
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