widowed

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#1
Hi folks,

Recently my wife went home to be with the Lord. Looking for brothers and sisters who have lost a spouse. I'm struggling with this new season in my life. I went to the singles group but most of the folks there suggested this forum instead. Thank you.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#2
There are many here who have lost spouses. Tourist, Joidevivre, are a couple of them that I can think of right now.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,702
5,609
113
#4
Thank you...as I am new how would I connect with them?
Feel free to send them a PM--if you click on their username, you'll see a "Start Conversation" button.

I don't know Joi personally but she always seems like a lovely person; Tourist, I'm sure, would be happy to talk to you, as he is always trying to help other members with an encouraging word. :)
 
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#5
Feel free to send them a PM--if you click on their username, you'll see a "Start Conversation" button.

I don't know Joi personally but she always seems like a lovely person; Tourist, I'm sure, would be happy to talk to you, as he is always trying to help other members with an encouraging word. :)
Will do. Many thanks! Blessings...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#6
Joidevivre is hardly online anymore, she's dealing with health issues right now. But Tourist is on here regularly, like Seoul said, just click on the user name.. :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,657
17,112
113
69
Tennessee
#7
Hi folks,

Recently my wife went home to be with the Lord. Looking for brothers and sisters who have lost a spouse. I'm struggling with this new season in my life. I went to the singles group but most of the folks there suggested this forum instead. Thank you.
I had the same experience as I had just lost my wife right before joining this site and hoped to find a certain measure of comfort. On the plus side I met my current (and last wife) on this site who is also a member. Hopefully this site will be a blessing to you as well. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,657
17,112
113
69
Tennessee
#8
Hi folks,

Recently my wife went home to be with the Lord. Looking for brothers and sisters who have lost a spouse. I'm struggling with this new season in my life. I went to the singles group but most of the folks there suggested this forum instead. Thank you.
I know how hard it is to lose your spouse, especially at and early age. The sense of loss was overwhelming for me but God steered me to this wonderful Christian site and I have met many fine Christian members who have provided tremendous comfort, support and understanding. I pray that this holds true for you as well.

The people here are real and not virtual and most genuinely care about each other, support each other and pray for each other. I am sorry for your tremendous loss but there are others here that are or have been going through the same thing so please know that you are not alone in this.

May God bless you and be with you during this hard period of your life. I believe that God steered you to this site for a reason also and even though you are alone He is with you by your side. Even Jesus wept when His friend died even though He knew that He was going to bring him back to life a few minutes later. Jesus understands the human condition quitw well and I assure you that He feels your pain and will send His angels to comfort you.
 
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#9
tourist, thank you.

I'm not young (69), and i know my wife is with Jesus and I would not want it any other way. I feel blessed she is with our Lord.

But I do hurt for me and I miss my very best friend. I think its easier to talk with strangers who don't know me, and can't see my tears than subject family and friends to my grief. Sometimes grief seems to be a very selfish thing as it is "all about me" and I don't want to wallow in it. It helps sometimes to talk about it with someone who can identify.

Its not really even the big things, but the small stuff. Seeing something really special and not having her there to share it with, deleting her from my phone, feeling guilty about throwing her precious little things out (hair braids, pins, favorite slippers, etc., then realizing she doesn't care about any of it....

As you can see things are pretty raw for me. She went home about a month ago....thanks for the ear and prayers and support. God bless you!
Joidevivre is hardly online anymore, she's dealing with health issues right now. But Tourist is on here regularly, like Seoul said, just click on the user name.. :)

Thank you, Tourist did reach out to me...blessings...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#10
I'm grieving too. Not for a spouse, but a beloved pet whom I had for nearly 16 years. I'm not going to compare that against your loss, but I believe all grief is the same. Whether it's for a friend, spouse, relative or pet. I don't think that grief is "all about me", but rather it is our way of expressing our love for that person or animal. It isn't selfish to want to keep her things, it's a normal reaction. It also isn't wrong for you to want to do something with them, whether it be donating them or just putting them in the rubbish.. As for me, I got rid of everything of Tequila's, except for her kitty scratcher that she always used to sit on and look out the window. But eventually I got rid of that too, and sold it to someone who's kitty needed a scratcher. Now I wish I had held onto it, for it was the last tangible thing I had left of hers..

But I digress.. You don't NEED to get rid of your wife's things, unless you're ready to move forward and want to get rid of all reminders of her. People/animals live on in our hearts and memories, and through photos and pictures. :) It's okay to get rid of it all, and it's also okay to keep it all. I'm sure that she understands and would agree with whatever your decision will be.. And there is no time table on grief. It's 2 1/2 years later for me, and I STILL can't think of Tequila without crying and feeling immense grief and guilt..


So take all the time you need to grieve, and don't let anyone tell you "it's time to move on" or "get over it"..

Psalm 56v8.jpg
 
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#11
I'm grieving too. Not for a spouse, but a beloved pet whom I had for nearly 16 years. I'm not going to compare that against your loss, but I believe all grief is the same. Whether it's for a friend, spouse, relative or pet. I don't think that grief is "all about me", but rather it is our way of expressing our love for that person or animal. It isn't selfish to want to keep her things, it's a normal reaction. It also isn't wrong for you to want to do something with them, whether it be donating them or just putting them in the rubbish.. As for me, I got rid of everything of Tequila's, except for her kitty scratcher that she always used to sit on and look out the window. But eventually I got rid of that too, and sold it to someone who's kitty needed a scratcher. Now I wish I had held onto it, for it was the last tangible thing I had left of hers..

But I digress.. You don't NEED to get rid of your wife's things, unless you're ready to move forward and want to get rid of all reminders of her. People/animals live on in our hearts and memories, and through photos and pictures. :) It's okay to get rid of it all, and it's also okay to keep it all. I'm sure that she understands and would agree with whatever your decision will be.. And there is no time table on grief. It's 2 1/2 years later for me, and I STILL can't think of Tequila without crying and feeling immense grief and guilt..

So take all the time you need to grieve, and don't let anyone tell you "it's time to move on" or "get over it"..

View attachment 189290
Thank you for understanding, I know how you feel about pets, I don't know what I would do without my dog, which is another blessing.
Your kind words are a comfort, God Bless..
 
Sep 22, 2018
26
32
13
59
#12
Dear bondservant, I was very touched by your post, in particular by what you wrote about missing your best friend, about the small things that remind you of her and about your grief. I am not personally in your situation and the situation when my parents both went home some years ago is probably not camparable. However, I am continuously in contact with a man and a woman who have each lost their spouses recently. I think I can imagine how you feel when, after all these years, you wake up alone in the morning, when you see all these things that she decorated your house with, when you have breakfast or dinner alone. Let me tell you that I am feeling with you as I am writing these lines. I deeply believe that God rejoices when you rejoice and that he suffers with you when you suffer. You think that grief seems to be a selfish thing? I am sure that your grief is not selfish. „Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.“ Give yourself a little time!

In the next days, when it‘s afternoon and you feel alone, you can be sure that there is somebody far away in Germany thinking about you and including you in his evening Prayer.

May the blessing of almighty God, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, come down on you and remain with you for ever.
 
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#13
Dear bondservant, I was very touched by your post, in particular by what you wrote about missing your best friend, about the small things that remind you of her and about your grief. I am not personally in your situation and the situation when my parents both went home some years ago is probably not camparable. However, I am continuously in contact with a man and a woman who have each lost their spouses recently. I think I can imagine how you feel when, after all these years, you wake up alone in the morning, when you see all these things that she decorated your house with, when you have breakfast or dinner alone. Let me tell you that I am feeling with you as I am writing these lines. I deeply believe that God rejoices when you rejoice and that he suffers with you when you suffer. You think that grief seems to be a selfish thing? I am sure that your grief is not selfish. „Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.“ Give yourself a little time!

In the next days, when it‘s afternoon and you feel alone, you can be sure that there is somebody far away in Germany thinking about you and including you in his evening Prayer.

May the blessing of almighty God, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, come down on you and remain with you for ever.
Your words are a great comfort...and thank you so much for your understanding and prayers. God bless you!
 
S

Sherril

Guest
#14
When our hearts hurts God is near...when we are week He is strong...when we cry out to our Lord he feels our pain...but know joy comes in the morning...Gods peace that passes all understanding...Your beautiful wife the love of your life she has blessed your life and heart as you have enjoyed the love and care from her heart to yours...dear one God is with you, he will keep you...healing takes time...let the Lord take your care...let the Lord carry your burden...Father that your love and presence will overtake this man in this time and he sees the beauty of your great love...Father hold him close i ask to your heart as he could even lay his head on your chest to hear your heart beat (so to say like john in the bible laid his head on Jesus)...Father that your sweet peace that passes all understanding will overtake him...and Lord that your ministering angels are near...Lord we know all things are possible through you...no matter what the storm you bring clear sky's again.....one of my fav. verses is Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end...love in Christ Sherril...
 
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#16
When our hearts hurts God is near...when we are week He is strong...when we cry out to our Lord he feels our pain...but know joy comes in the morning...Gods peace that passes all understanding...Your beautiful wife the love of your life she has blessed your life and heart as you have enjoyed the love and care from her heart to yours...dear one God is with you, he will keep you...healing takes time...let the Lord take your care...let the Lord carry your burden...Father that your love and presence will overtake this man in this time and he sees the beauty of your great love...Father hold him close i ask to your heart as he could even lay his head on your chest to hear your heart beat (so to say like john in the bible laid his head on Jesus)...Father that your sweet peace that passes all understanding will overtake him...and Lord that your ministering angels are near...Lord we know all things are possible through you...no matter what the storm you bring clear sky's again.....one of my fav. verses is Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end...love in Christ Sherril...
Than you Sherril for you very kind words and loving prayer. Jeremiah 29:11 is also one of my favorite verses as well. God bless you for your caring and reaching out to me.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,502
2,707
113
#17
I am so sorry for what you are going through I have never lost a spouse but I know that what you are going through must be so hard. Just imagining losing my beloved Stephanie feeling like there is a giant whole missing inside me one that even if I found another in my life would never truly be filled. I would feel lost inside and likely would be on the brink of tears for everything that reminded me of her and even the memories of her would be pain me and I would ache to see her even just one last time even if just for a few minutes if I could hold her hand one last time if i could hold her one last time if I could only be able to tell her the things I never got to say before her passing.....

But I also know that I would treasure every fond moment we together as if they are the most precious and most sacred of jewels and I would hold on to those treasured moments in my heart embracing the warmth they would give me as I recall them and I would let everything about our love the good and the bad to help me through life knowing that one day we will be reunited. My friend the pain and the sadness is beyond measure even not experiencing it myself I know this, but also remember there is a wise saying that says pity not the dead rather pity the living. Where she is now we can only dream of being and she is never truly gone and she will always be a part of you and we will be here for you as well
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
14,042
4,097
113
#18
Greetings Brother, my condolences for your loss and emptiness. I will pray for our lord to bless you and show you the way to find strength thru your grieving period and reaffirm your peace of mind in knowing that while she has arrived with our lord she does remain with you in such a way as to give you the peace and comfort you seek along your journey.
Welcome to cc... I think you will like it here and fit right in... Lots of good people here to meet your needs - always loving, caring and giving of advice for those who are seeking prayer, friendship, support or just a break from their daily routine... God Bless
 
Nov 12, 2015
9,112
823
113
#19
Hi folks,

Recently my wife went home to be with the Lord. Looking for brothers and sisters who have lost a spouse. I'm struggling with this new season in my life. I went to the singles group but most of the folks there suggested this forum instead. Thank you.
I'm sorry for your loss brother. You know where she is so take comfort in that. You will see her again. That doesn't prevent grief but it does make us able to not grieve as the world does, Without hope.

I lost my husband of 20 years, but in a different way. He said he felt like after I met God, that he was all alone. He said it felt almost like I was having an affair. It was so odd to me because just when I knew what love actually wa s and was able to love, he felt unloved. I think he was just bewildered by my not loving the world and it's things any more and just couldn't deal with the crisis of discovering that the things He still clung to as "happiness" were things I no longer clung to or valued.

I guess it can be pretty disturbing to see someone di e to the world.
 
Oct 12, 2018
24
27
13
75
#20
I am so sorry for what you are going through I have never lost a spouse but I know that what you are going through must be so hard. Just imagining losing my beloved Stephanie feeling like there is a giant whole missing inside me one that even if I found another in my life would never truly be filled. I would feel lost inside and likely would be on the brink of tears for everything that reminded me of her and even the memories of her would be pain me and I would ache to see her even just one last time even if just for a few minutes if I could hold her hand one last time if i could hold her one last time if I could only be able to tell her the things I never got to say before her passing.....

But I also know that I would treasure every fond moment we together as if they are the most precious and most sacred of jewels and I would hold on to those treasured moments in my heart embracing the warmth they would give me as I recall them and I would let everything about our love the good and the bad to help me through life knowing that one day we will be reunited. My friend the pain and the sadness is beyond measure even not experiencing it myself I know this, but also remember there is a wise saying that says pity not the dead rather pity the living. Where she is now we can only dream of being and she is never truly gone and she will always be a part of you and we will be here for you as well
Thank you...its a strange mix of feelings I have, joyful that I know she is with our Lord and Savior and extreme sadness that she is not with me. I know many people have walked this path before me, but its really hard sometimes and it feels like a dream somedays, but I just don't wake up. Thank you again for your kindness. God bless you.