As An "Older" Single, What Advice Would You Give to Younger Singles?

Adstar is the average.

Tommy is extraordinary.

No...

I base my thoughts on lodgic of knowing what most men want out of marriage.. And i know that an average woman's height of fertility is in her 20's.. This should be general knowledge to all people.. But it seems that a lot of woman have been sold a lie that they will have no problems getting pregnant when they hit 40..

No...

I base my thoughts on lodgic of knowing what most men want out of marriage.. And i know that an average woman's height of fertility is in her 20's.. This should be general knowledge to all people.. But it seems that a lot of woman have been sold a lie that they will have no problems getting pregnant when they hit 40..

Welcome back, Shiney!

Me, pinnochio? I said that because all they are going to get out of a forum like this is people telling them to be patient and focus on God... and/or that God is preparing a special someone for them. That type of advice will just keep them alone, single and frustrated.

Ok so as advice to a younger person I would say.... Just ask the person out already!

The person already knows in his/her mind if they are willing to go out with you or not. You are only prolonging your own self-torture of not-knowing by not asking..... And once you get to that point where you're comfortable with being their friend even though you wish it were more, they've probably already put you in their friendzone... and it's nearly impossible to go from the friendzone to the romance zone because they already think of you as a sister or brother....

No no no no no, I'm not objecting to the female fertility statistics. I'm objecting to your assumption that you know what most men want out of a marriage. You're arguing about the wrong objection.

How do you know what the average man wants out of a marriage? Did you take a poll? The "average" man I have talked to seems to NOT want kids.

Hey Everyone,

Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?

I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."

I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."

What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.

Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.

As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.

Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.








You got alot of good advice

However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.

What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?

Hey Everyone,

Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?

I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."

I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."

What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.

Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.

As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.

Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.

However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.

What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?

Hey Everyone,

Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?

I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."

I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."

What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.

Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.

As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.

Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.

However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.

What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?

I would say women are like fine wine, they improve with age.
With age comes more knowledge, a better idea of who you are
and want you want, hopefully too a better walk with God.

Recently I responded to a similar post of Tommy's in the same fashion in that yes, women are like fine wine.

Unfortunately, just like fine wine which if it is not properly packaged and cared for turns into vinegar; older women if they haven't been properly cared for can be bitter.

Recently I responded to a similar post of Tommy's in the same fashion in that yes, women are like fine wine.

Unfortunately, just like fine wine which if it is not properly packaged and cared for turns into vinegar; older women if they haven't been properly cared for can be bitter.

Yes, but there are still a lot of women who have been abused and have come out of it with a great sense of compassion and understanding. I think it really depends on the woman (or man).

Some more sketchy advice from me to young singels....

Don't be too picky. Waiting for mr or miss perfect to come along is one way to keep yourself single forever.

Hiya zerp..like your new avitar pic!

Thanks, Jewel.