As An "Older" Single, What Advice Would You Give to Younger Singles?

[Jewel5712]

Adstar is the average.

Tommy is extraordinary.

 

[Mel85]

No...

I base my thoughts on lodgic of knowing what most men want out of marriage.. And i know that an average woman's height of fertility is in her 20's.. This should be general knowledge to all people.. But it seems that a lot of woman have been sold a lie that they will have no problems getting pregnant when they hit 40..

I don’t believe anything that comes from Australian stats.

Lol.

 

[Jewel5712]

No...

I base my thoughts on lodgic of knowing what most men want out of marriage.. And i know that an average woman's height of fertility is in her 20's.. This should be general knowledge to all people.. But it seems that a lot of woman have been sold a lie that they will have no problems getting pregnant when they hit 40..

Lol..they might be more fertile in thier 20s but reach thier sexual PEAK in thier 50s! Lol

And..i think that women know the older they are..the risks go up..women often hear that "bilogical clock" ticking but thanks to meducal technology..women are able to have successful pregnamcies later in life

 

[shineyourlight]

Welcome back, Shiney!

Thanks, friend

How are you doing?

 

[tourist]

Me, pinnochio? I said that because all they are going to get out of a forum like this is people telling them to be patient and focus on God... and/or that God is preparing a special someone for them. That type of advice will just keep them alone, single and frustrated.

I agree with your estimation on playing the waiting game. Once you know what you want there is no longer a need for being patient, this is a time of action. God provides opportunities but you must then be prepared to act. A lot of Christians focus on God but that does not mean that they want to be alone the rest of their lives. Yeah, I bet a lot of singles are frustrated.

 

[tourist]

Ok so as advice to a younger person I would say.... Just ask the person out already!

The person already knows in his/her mind if they are willing to go out with you or not. You are only prolonging your own self-torture of not-knowing by not asking..... And once you get to that point where you're comfortable with being their friend even though you wish it were more, they've probably already put you in their friendzone... and it's nearly impossible to go from the friendzone to the romance zone because they already think of you as a sister or brother....

Your first sentence says it all.

 

[tourist]

No no no no no, I'm not objecting to the female fertility statistics. I'm objecting to your assumption that you know what most men want out of a marriage. You're arguing about the wrong objection.

How do you know what the average man wants out of a marriage? Did you take a poll? The "average" man I have talked to seems to NOT want kids.

Yeah, especially if you are older. When I got married I sure didn't want any more kids, just companionship.

 

[YAHWEHsGuard]

Hey Everyone,

Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?

I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."

I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."

What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.

Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.

As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.

Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.








You got alot of good advice

However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.

What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?

Hey Everyone,

Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?

I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."

I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."

What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.

Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.

As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.

Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.

However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.

What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?

Hey Everyone,

Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?

I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."

I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."

What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.

Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.

As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.

Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.

However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.

What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?

You seem to have gotten alot of good replies here. And yet here i am giving my two cents..lol. You're right, you will have some people saying that "GOD will bring you together". While that is true, you have to work at it on your side also. Find someone that you are attracted to, who has that same attraction back to you. Common interests, how you feel when you ee each other, how you communicate together, among many other factors, is what you should look for. I don't know if im the person to be giving advice here or not. I'm tend to be a bit chauvinistic in my relationships. I am pretty much a traditional kind of guy (I know , i know...relax...lol). These are just my words on it. Good luck to everyone in their relationships, old and young alike...

 

[zeroturbulence]

Some more sketchy advice from me to young singels....

Don't be too picky. Waiting for mr or miss perfect to come along is one way to keep yourself single forever.

 

[Pipp]

Don't fret over your situation. Pray for grace.

 

[LittleMermaid]

100% of people who get pregnant from sex eventually die. Please stay alive and never have sex.

 

[Miri]

I would say women are like fine wine, they improve with age.
With age comes more knowledge, a better idea of who you are
and want you want, hopefully too a better walk with God.

Hopefully the same applies to men too, but as I’m a woman I can only
give a woman’s perspective on that.

Young women just want to be loved and someone to take care of them,
a substitute dad.

Older woman want to give as much back as they receive, they look
for a spouse to share life with, not just a care taker.

As for comments about being past it at 27. What a load of........insert an
appropriate word.

I’ve just turned 50! Picture of me a few weeks before my birthday



Anyway to younger singles, I would say learn to love God and learn to
love who you are. So many people have hang ups because they hate who
they are. How can you expect someone to love and respect you if you don’t
have any love and respect for yourself.

Also don’t sell yourself short and don’t lower your standards just to
get hitched quickly. Keep your eyes on God and use your time for His
work.

I’ve been involved in so many things for God, have met many amazing
people along the way and have had great opportunities which I might
not have had time for as a married person.

Things like going on children’s camps for 10 years,
helping with Sunday school and teen clubs. In that sense I hope
I have lots of children! Travelling all over the place along the way
and I have lots of wonderful memories.

Learning to play various musical instruments, playing sax on the
worship team for 10 years, which gave opportunities to play with
and meet some famous Christian musicians.

I’ve been Privileged to do some paid for work and voluntary with a couple of Christian
charities, plus much more.

Now I look after my elderly aunt. It’s hard work
but she is a Christian too and loved by God and me. It’s a privilege to
do so and God had given me this awesome responsibility so He must
believe in me and that I can do it.

I’m not blowing my own trumpet besides I never learnt the trumpet!
But what I’m trying to say is being single doesn’t mean there is no life.
Being single gives you time to get involved in and do all those things
married people always say they wish they had time for.

Being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Being married doesnt
mean you will always be happy. Life is what you make it regardless of
being single or married.

 

[Oncefallen]

I would say women are like fine wine, they improve with age.
With age comes more knowledge, a better idea of who you are
and want you want, hopefully too a better walk with God.

Recently I responded to a similar post of Tommy's in the same fashion in that yes, women are like fine wine.

Unfortunately, just like fine wine which if it is not properly packaged and cared for turns into vinegar; older women if they haven't been properly cared for can be bitter.

 

[Jewel5712]

Recently I responded to a similar post of Tommy's in the same fashion in that yes, women are like fine wine.

Unfortunately, just like fine wine which if it is not properly packaged and cared for turns into vinegar; older women if they haven't been properly cared for can be bitter.

Lol..fine wine or just plain PICKLED..lol

 

[zeroturbulence]

Recently I responded to a similar post of Tommy's in the same fashion in that yes, women are like fine wine.

Unfortunately, just like fine wine which if it is not properly packaged and cared for turns into vinegar; older women if they haven't been properly cared for can be bitter.

Yes, but there are still a lot of women who have been abused and have come out of it with a great sense of compassion and understanding. I think it really depends on the woman (or man).

 

[Jewel5712]

Yes, but there are still a lot of women who have been abused and have come out of it with a great sense of compassion and understanding. I think it really depends on the woman (or man).

Hiya zerp..like your new avitar pic!

 

[tourist]

Some more sketchy advice from me to young singels....

Don't be too picky. Waiting for mr or miss perfect to come along is one way to keep yourself single forever.

I wholeheartedly agree with you brother.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hiya zerp..like your new avitar pic!

Thanks, Jewel.

 

[Jewel5712]

Thanks, Jewel.

Sorry bout the 'zerp' lol

 

[BrotherMan]

I would say its not about finding the right person, its about being the right person. I used to believe in the "one." Now i believe any 2 christians who love God and can spend time together without killing each other can make it. Life has a way of changing most things, but love of God and each other is what makes relationships work. 1 Corinthians 13 love