How Much of Your Life Do You Put on Hold While Waiting for "The One"?

We have been sold a lie that a relationship is how the story ends. Once you find your life partner...you will live happily ever after.

Hey Everyone,

Most of us here are hoping to someday meet that special someone that we will eventually marry and build a new life with.

But how much of your current life should you put on hold while you are waiting for that person? After all, we not only have no idea when that person might show up, but a spouse is never guaranteed, and we might NEVER meet a supposed spouse.

How should this affect our major life decisions in the meantime, such as moving, taking a job, and major financial decisions?

Recently, I was talking to a friend who was contemplating spending a bit of money on a car. She could get something to just get by for less money, but what she really wanted was make the jump to something newer and more reliable. Should she go ahead and make the purchase? she pondered thoughtfully, even though it would mean taking out a 5-year loan--because after all, she could meet The One tomorrow and she might need the finances to go towards the wedding.

I know many of us are waiting, and waiting, and waiting... for something that may or may not come into our lives. So, what do we do in the meantime, especially if we don't feel that God is directing us one way or the other?

* Would you decide to move to a new location? What if The One was right in the town where you're living now?

* Should you take that new job? What if it means working more and/or odd hours? Because you just might happen to meet The One in a few months, and you'd need the time to be able to spend with him or her.

* What if you have a lifelong dream that's going to take some time and money in order to achieve, such as visiting Europe for a few weeks or participating in missions work overseas? Should you go ahead and spend the time and money in order to go? After all, The One might show up on your doorstep next week and maybe you'll need those resources in order to start planning your new life together.

But then again... 20 years might go by... and No One ever appears.

As a single, what would you do?

Hey Everyone,

Most of us here are hoping to someday meet that special someone that we will eventually marry and build a new life with.

But how much of your current life should you put on hold while you are waiting for that person? After all, we not only have no idea when that person might show up, but a spouse is never guaranteed, and we might NEVER meet a supposed spouse.

How should this affect our major life decisions in the meantime, such as moving, taking a job, and major financial decisions?

Recently, I was talking to a friend who was contemplating spending a bit of money on a car. She could get something to just get by for less money, but what she really wanted was make the jump to something newer and more reliable. Should she go ahead and make the purchase? she pondered thoughtfully, even though it would mean taking out a 5-year loan--because after all, she could meet The One tomorrow and she might need the finances to go towards the wedding.

I know many of us are waiting, and waiting, and waiting... for something that may or may not come into our lives. So, what do we do in the meantime, especially if we don't feel that God is directing us one way or the other?

* Would you decide to move to a new location? What if The One was right in the town where you're living now?

* Should you take that new job? What if it means working more and/or odd hours? Because you just might happen to meet The One in a few months, and you'd need the time to be able to spend with him or her.

* What if you have a lifelong dream that's going to take some time and money in order to achieve, such as visiting Europe for a few weeks or participating in missions work overseas? Should you go ahead and spend the time and money in order to go? After all, The One might show up on your doorstep next week and maybe you'll need those resources in order to start planning your new life together.

But then again... 20 years might go by... and No One ever appears.

As a single, what would you do?

i think the answer becomes clearer when we consider the omnipotence of God. "With God all things are possible."

The Lord will bring about people and situations in our lives according to his will and timing. No matter where we are or what we are doing the Lord's will shall be done.

We have to walk by faith in the all powerful God, not by the limited sight of our human understanding.

Making life decisions on a "what-if" basis has unbelief at it's core. It's us trying to walk by sight instead of faith.

The Lord is all-powerful and all-knowing. He guides his children at all times and is ALWAYS in control.

Let that be a comfort to us

Hey Everyone,

Most of us here are hoping to someday meet that special someone that we will eventually marry and build a new life with.

But how much of your current life should you put on hold while you are waiting for that person? After all, we not only have no idea when that person might show up, but a spouse is never guaranteed, and we might NEVER meet a supposed spouse.

How should this affect our major life decisions in the meantime, such as moving, taking a job, and major financial decisions?

Recently, I was talking to a friend who was contemplating spending a bit of money on a car. She could get something to just get by for less money, but what she really wanted was make the jump to something newer and more reliable. Should she go ahead and make the purchase? she pondered thoughtfully, even though it would mean taking out a 5-year loan--because after all, she could meet The One tomorrow and she might need the finances to go towards the wedding.

I know many of us are waiting, and waiting, and waiting... for something that may or may not come into our lives. So, what do we do in the meantime, especially if we don't feel that God is directing us one way or the other?

* Would you decide to move to a new location? What if The One was right in the town where you're living now?

* Should you take that new job? What if it means working more and/or odd hours? Because you just might happen to meet The One in a few months, and you'd need the time to be able to spend with him or her.

* What if you have a lifelong dream that's going to take some time and money in order to achieve, such as visiting Europe for a few weeks or participating in missions work overseas? Should you go ahead and spend the time and money in order to go? After all, The One might show up on your doorstep next week and maybe you'll need those resources in order to start planning your new life together.

But then again... 20 years might go by... and No One ever appears.

As a single, what would you do?

You are so right and ive fallen into the "life on hold" a few times..i dont like traveling alone..was interested in taking a cruise and found myself thinking how much more i would enjoy it with my man some day..havent taken the cruise...also..the thought of being single the rest of my life has sometimes been hard to accept since i have so much love to give..these are some of my experiences..please no haters

I would tell the friend to get the car she wants. A person can get married for no more cost than the fee for the marriage license. It only gets expensive during the divorce.

Before we got married my wife was planning on taking a cruise too but she ended up marrying me instead. We still want to take a cruse to Alaska one day. That is one reason why I got remarried, I had a lot of love n my heart but no woman to share it with. Things can change dramatically when you least expect it.

I would tell the friend to get the car she wants. A person can get married for no more cost than the fee for the marriage license. It only gets expensive during the divorce.

Or you gotta be like me..marry someone who doesnt HAVE money ..then theres nothing to split up..lol

The only thing that I got out of my first marriage that lasted 6 1/2 years and ended in 1984 was my dog. Lost everything. Lesson learned. Spent next 18 years alone, single and celibate. Remarried in 2002, wife died in 2014. Remarried to my current wife Darlene (JesusLives) by the end of that year. She will be my last wife. This is my last rodeo.

The what if game can easily back you into a corner. And there's always the chance that any emergency could happen tomorrow and you'd need that money you already spent. But as I said in another thread, this whole meeting to marrying thing isn't an overnight occurence so it's not like you'll need all that money tomorrow even if it's tomorrow that "the One" shows up. Besides if you live your life and collect some good anecdotes and stories, you'll be a much more interesting date and partner when the one shows up.

Where I find myself more likely to put my life on hold is making non-essential major purchases. Most of the furniture in my apartment is old. I've thought about replacing my bed ( the frame is 25 years old I think and the mattress is about 14), but then I wonder if I should get another twin bed that I already have the bedding for and would be a bit cheaper or if I should go up in size which would accomodate the hypothetical (albeit quite unexpected) future husband and let me buy some of the nicer bedding that they don't make in twin size (oh and I sleep with 2 pillows and it would be wonderful to actually get 2 pillowcases with my sheet sets). I have similar debates with myself about buying a couch. Right now it's more like I'm putting my household furnishing life on hold until I buy a home and just living with the perfectly functional old stuff until then. But it also helps to remember that today is all we can live now, we can plan for goals but we need to live today as well and not let a zillion todays be held captive by a tomorrow that may never come.

Or you gotta be like me..marry someone who doesnt HAVE money ..then theres nothing to split up..lol

I married someone without money, she walked away with all mine.