Help

Hi I’m really struggling. I think I’m a Christian but I’m pretty sure God hates me. I have depression and anxiety. I started to go to a new church. I opened up about my depression and anxiety but I am struggling to fit in or talk to people. They probably don’t care anyway. It seems to make me more depressed because they all seem so sure of God and their relationship with him but I’m not sure at all. My life is a struggle to get through everyday. I have breaks in work throughout the day so I’m my breaks I just go home and go to bed. I’m so isolated and alone. I don’t know what to do.

Get professional help for your depression and anxiety. That's what you do.
Chances are the people you "think" have such great walks are putting up a front or overexaggerating how good their walk is. I once knew a girl whose Facebook quoted scriptures and preachers. She was well known in her church, a leader in the youth group. From the outside she looked like an ideal Christian. But at home she was very mean, stingy, selfish and verbally abusive to her mother. She was a Dr Jekyl, Ms Hyde.
People often go to church to put on a show, so dont measure your walk to the false image most project.
And, ideally, you shouldn't compare your walk to anyone else's. We are all at different parts of our walk and have different roles to be involved in, so it wont be the same for everyone.

Usually what I find is the idea that you are unliked comes down to two things.
1 you're liked more than you realize
2 a good portion of why you aren't liked isn't because of your personality but rather you are speaking and acting in a way that turns people off in an effort to prove to yourself how unlikable you are.

First step, though, get professional help. That doesn't mean go get on meds right away (though for the anxiety of may be needed). That means see someone to help you figure out the cause of your depression. There are multiple causes so ruling them out one by one is the way to go. First to a M.D. to have tests for food allergies, deficiencies, hormone levels, etc... if all that comes back clean move on to a counselor or psychologist.
Work with them on the psychological aspects and with an M.D. for changes in diet.
Anxiety meds may be useful if you've had anxiety issues a long time. Antidepressants should be a last resort.

If you have a friend or family member try getting out of the house once a week with them to do something enjoyable. Or at least phone calls with them. Tell them what you're going through and that you may need some assistance for a while with socialization.

Don't sit around the house wallowing. That's counterproductive.

So you know I've had depression nearly 30 years and anxiety issues over 10 years.
Lastly don't let ignorant religious people get you down. Many in the church are very ignorant of mental illness and often say things that makes a person feel worse. Don't let their lack of intelligence affect you.

I am sorry hear that you are struggling. but you don't have to think you are a Christian, and GOD does not hate you! He loves you, he loves you so much that he sent his son to die for YOU. If you believe that. Then you are a Christian and GOD loves you. Depression is a real thing and along with GOD and medication it can be helped. Opening up to people is a great start but just realize that you are new. it takes time to make new friends. You will fit in because you all have something in common, Jesus. I am pretty sure they care especially if they are sure of their relationship with Jesus. You can be just as confident. trust me when I say this is satan's greatest weapon. He walks behind you throwing darts of doubt, unbelief and trying to keeps trying to tear you down. Don't let him win. Go to church, read your bible ,make new friends. don't let satan have a chance to hit you with a dart. You really know GOD loves you and wants more than anything to have a relationship with you. Just ask him. As for me, I care and will say a prayer right now for you.

There are many others suffering from the debilitating effects of depression here, including myself, so pleas know that you are not alone in this. In the book of John it says that God is love so rest assured that He loves you and certainly does not hate you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.

Thank you. I am naturally quite shy and introverted plus I really haven’t had a good experience of church in the past so I’m finding it very difficult. The doctor just prescribed anti depressants and I find they just mask the depression but don’t actually help me if you know what I mean. As for God loving me, I find it very difficult to believe and I don’t know how to help that. I feel I have just embarrassed myself at the church and they must be sick of me.

What you say is funny! Of course God does not hate you -- He loves all of us. My daughter has the same problem as you, but with compounding factors: she is an atheist, loves junk food and is extremely obese..

Giving thanks to God for everything you have is the number one weapon against depression (this is scientifically proven). My son is wheelchair dependent, but I don't look at his legs -- I thank God for his arms and hands.

I agree with you that antidepressants don't solve the root problem. Body exercice and proper nutrition are far better than any drug (google for foods that fight depression) .

Do all these things and stick around in Christian Chat -- you're welcome here!

Don't despair about being alone. Some of the greatest heroes of the bible were alone yet they made their mark on the world in great ways. Just keep the faith no matter what and keep on going, go and write your own story. Don't worry about being alone now , no matter how difficult it is , put on a smile think positive be the best human being you can be , help others and good genuine souls will flock to you. I'm rooting for you to succeed, so does God.

Hello there don't worry about all this so much I completely understand,wanting to fit in,feeling like others hate you,being introverted,and most likely "trying too hard" at expressing "emotions" am I right?
I use to be like this "more" now since accepting Jesus and his works I am less "pressured" realizing that God/Jesus "loves" me just as I'm sure he "loves" you.
Think again has there been a time where you thought something bad was going to happen but something good happened instead?
Despite being an introvert not so easy to come by feelings,do you have "friends"?
This is God working in your life he can give "help" to us "before" we know him or accept Jesus as well as us by leading others to find "favor"(Something interesting or profound about us) in you.
The thing is that it's so "easy" to "not see this" because of being so busy being down about things or worried that we "don't think about the good in our lives" believe you me I can get on the soap box anytime harping about all the tragedy and misery I've had to "endure" but I've had to come to terms with that it "doesn't change the past".
One good thing about having "problems" in our lives is that you can "learn" from them and "talk with others" to help them "come out from the depths of depression and anxiety" just like I am doing now talking with you,I have posted probably at least hundreds of times on "relating to others" in someway especially on "troubling things" and it gives me a sense of "purpose" don't despair over what others think figure out "who you are" and "what God/Jesus thinks of you" and I can answer that right now,God loves you!
You may not "feel this way" but if you just look around and think "he's there" and has "always been there for you" maybe not in the ways "you wanted" but still he's around.

Well Kay, depression will rob you of all that God wants for you. There is nothing wrong with a Christian getting help to fight depression. Examine the spirit of bitterness that is upon you. Speak to it and tell it to depart and believe. I have been where you are and I will certainly pray for you.

bitterness is one possible underlying source of depression, learning something new everyday

I am glad your seeking medical help for your depression issues. like I said they are real. As for GOD loving you I can understand how hard it can be to believe he loves you. we definetly don't deserve it. some of the things I have done in my life I wonder how anyone could love me much less GOD. I just read this morning romans 8:1 .There is so much in the bible to tell us how much GOD loves us. how badly he wants to have a relationship with you. GOD loves what he created. Read James 4:7-10, resist the devil and draw near to GOD. he does love you. Don't be embarrassed at church, remember why your going. To worship GOD, he will take care of the rest. Praying for you

Hi Kay, first off, welcome to CC

That said, I think it's great that you are going to church (especially since you have so many struggles associated with doing so). If I was you, I would seek out your pastor and tell him everything you've told us (and more). Pastors excel at being helpful and at giving good advice. After all, your pastor is the Lord's underservant, tasked by Him with keeping watch over your soul as one who will have to give an account .. e.g. Hebrews 13:17. You will also give him the ability to pray much more specifically for you and your needs as well.

Remember too that we are called to be part of the body of Christ for several very good reasons, two of which are 1. because we all have needs at times, and 2. because we all have something to offer one another. So you need us and we need you .. 1 Corinthians 12:7, 14-26.

When things are going well for us, we're the ones who are expected to minister out of our strength/resources to others. However, when we are down and out spiritually, emotionally and/or physically, it's our brothers' and sisters' turn to step in and minister to us instead. So just like your pastor, don't hesitate to let others know your needs/what's going on with you as you begin to know them better (be patient, I know you'll find some close friends at church in not too long of a time), because it's been my experience that those who are not hurting at the moment within the body are always looking to help/pray for/love those in their midst who are (because when God caused us to be born again and made us into new creatures in Christ, that's how He made us ).

As for "believing" that God loves you (or just believing the things God says in general), it is tough sometimes (especially when we have an enemy in the wings (this world's "prince") who is against us .. simply because we belong to God. The devil is often behind the kinds of thoughts you are having as he whispers his lies/deceit into your ears. As a result, sometimes "belief" in God, in His love for us, in His promises to us, etc., is a matter of choosing to believe what we know to be true (fact) over our feelings in the moment. IOW, always choose to trust what you "know" about God and reject whatever feelings you may be having about Him in the moment that run counter to that knowledge. He has every reason to expect this from those of us who are His, because He has proven Himself faithful (and we please and honor Him when we do .. and dishonor Him when we do not).

Part of resisting the devil .. James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8 cf Ephesians 6:10-17 is, in fact, accomplished by taking every negative thought we have, every "feeling" about something that we know runs counter to the truth, "captive", and then by turning it all over to Christ to deal with for us .. 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Unfortunately, resisting the devil can be very tiring (he is a persistent fellow ), but the Bible promises us that he will eventually flee from us as we continue to resist him (if you think you might miss his company however, no worries, he'll be back ... although the more we resist/do battle with him as the Bible instructs us to do, the longer and longer he seems to stay away before returning).

So "believing" is oft times a choice that we must make in the moment (based upon the truth that we know rather than the feelings that we are having), starting with this fact, He chose to come here and die for you so that He wouldn't have to live out the rest of eternity without you. THAT'S how much He loves you

Praying for you!

~Deut

Hello sister, welcome and will be praying for you most of the people here have already given you great advice already. Remember God loves you!

Blessings ❤️

Hi there, my name is Lorraine. I too am a Christian and had depression extremely bad with anxiety. I’m also a registered nurse. I had to go on anti depression medication for it. The medication takes two weeks to work. I don’t know if you’re on medication or not. But it really helps me.
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. When the medication puts the chemicals back into their normal place, You feel so relieved, at peace & happy. Sometime they have to juggle different medications to find the one that works for you. Once it begins to work, you will notice a huge difference in the way you feel.
During my waiting time, I surrounded myself with Christians and emotionally healthy people who helped me through that time. I sometime have a some anxiety, but nothing I can’t handle when it happens. I turned to God‘s word and it really helps me deal with it. However I did have to get the chemicals back in balance first before I could focus. Just know one thing our God is a God of love. He does not have hate inside him. And you are his child. He will put the right people in the right places at the right time to help you. I will be praying for you. God bless you.