Lukeguardian, Sorry, but you give us no indication that God has saved you. Salvation is a revolutionary experience, You will feel completely brand new. You need to start in earnest to seek God's grace and be renewed, born of God to a brand new life. You must read the Gospels and all the New Testament books and don't read the boring old t. books about all the regulations of the Jews way of worship. Read Genesis and the Psalms. to get a sense of how to live before God in a wicked fallen world with a real heart love for the things of God. If you don't love God and obeying His word, I don't think you are saved. Please report to us your adventures in you study,LIKE, take a few days of reading God's word, Gospel of John, and tells us what you have learned. It would be good to read the first epistle of John and report back to us all the proof of your birth into God's family; There are several ways given by John to test our walk with God to prove our BIRTH of GOD into HIS FAMILY. See if you are really saved. Remember God's warning to the Church of Sardis, Rev. 3:3"Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will no know what hour I will cone upon you." v,5"He who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments; and I will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess his name before My father and before His angels."
God Bless, Love to all, Hoffco